It’s Christmas morning on the Spotted Satellite, but there is no rest for the wicked. M discovers a horrendous original story entitled Only You and decides to put the MiSTing team to work for Christmas. Are they ready for their first emo love story or will they find that they simply aren’t up for the challenge on Christmas day?
Want to know more about MiSTing? Read Star’s Guide to MiSTing and educate yourself.
I don’t own any copyrighted characters, series or songs. Which should be obvious, because I didn’t copyright them. I didn’t write this fic. My intellectual property in this MiST is the witty remarks, my MiSTers, and the mad.
This MiSTing is NOT a personal attack on the author. It’s an attack on their terrible writing. This is not meant to be even slightly constructive, instead it is meant solely for the amusement of others.
It’s important to learn to laugh at ourselves. Don’t take life too seriously.
Melanie Bryce – The real way to a man’s heart is through his stomach cavity.
Dominick Dante – Uhhh, I came with Mel.
Gwenavere Donovan – Walk softly and carry a palm pilot.
Jarred Zion – Strangers are just friends that you haven’t met!
Deangelo Desiderio – Grumpy is the only one of the seven dwarfs I understand.
Tempest Lucki – I’m not a nymphomaniac, I’m a sex addict. There’s a difference.
Kalinda Beckham – Yes, that’s right, I’m the only remotely normal person here.
(It’s 3AM on the Spotted Satellite. All is quiet. Not a creature is stirring. Not even the pink Leopardita that just finished playing with a catnip mouse. When suddenly, there arose such a clatter. It became very clear that something was the matter. The MiSTers piled into the conference room in a flash. With Tempest wearing only her underwear and a sash.)
Jarred: OMG, what’s going on?!
Gwen: Please don’t talk in netspeak this early in the morning. It’s just… painful.
Dominick: That’s not really the issue here, Gwen.
Kalinda: Hey wait, I know that song, it’s the bad fic finder.
Melanie: But why is it going off at 3AM?
Deangelo: Tempest, what are you wearing?
Tempest: (Tugging at her sash which reads “Miss USA 2009”.) I didn’t steal this! I just… found it… Yeah, I found it.
Melanie: Where did you find it, Tempest? Please, tell us all the details.
Gwen: Can someone please turn off the bad fic finder? I’m getting a headache.
(Suddenly M and Rosie stroll into the room. M is wearing her sleep clothes and sweating. Rosie is carrying a pink puff ball in her mouth.)
M: What’s going on? I was kicking ass on DDR, suddenly Cheryl Cole is serenading the satellite.
Dominick: It’s the bad fic finder, isn’t it?
M: It can’t be. I turned it off yesterday. At any rate, it’s set to only alert after 10AM. (Observes Tempest.) Tempest, what are you wearing?
Tempest: Nothing! Stop harassing me!
Kalinda: Wait a minute, did someone mess with the bad fic finder?
Melanie: Dominick? Care to explain?
Dominick: I didn’t touch anything! M threatened me after I broke the last one, I didn’t go anywhere near the new one.
Deangelo: Well, it didn’t turn itself on.
M: Rosie, did you touch it?
Rosie: (>0_0<) Mew?
M: That’s a no.
Gwen: Can we just turn it off first?
M: Fine. Hang on.
(M leave the conference room. The MiSTers turn to Tempest.)
Deangelo: So, Tempest, you were just telling us where you found the Miss America sash.
Tempest: That’s right. I was. I was telling you all about it. All about how I found the Miss America 2009 sash and why I’m currently wearing it. I was telling you alllllllll about it.
(M reenters the room carrying several print outs.)
Tempest: Thank God!
M: Well kids, we’ve got to MiST.
Jarred: We do? But it’s Christmas morning!
Kalinda: Yeah, you already tortured us for Christmas.
M: We have no choice. This crap must be dealt with.
Deangelo: Why do we have to do it? There are other MiSTers out there. Besides, how much crap can the Pit of Voles possibly hold?
M: This particular brand of crap isn’t from the Pit of Voles. It’s from Quizazz.
Dominick: Huh? M: You see, many social networking sites have this application called Quizazz where users can create quizzes that other members can take. We MiSTed one, if you can think back that far.
Jarred: I remember that one. The one about Nintendo systems.
M: Exactly. Well, beyond creating crappy quizzes, some subpar teenage writers use the quiz format to post stories.
Gwen: How do they manage that?
M: They post each chapter as a question option. So you can read the stories chapter by chapter.
Kalinda: If these stories are original then why did the Bad FIC Finder locate them?
M: Someone also took off the “fic” setting. (She observes the MiSTers.) Someone needs to fess up. All of those settings didn’t change on their own.
Jarred: …. Um. (He folds his hands nervously.)
M: Jarred, is there something you’d like to share?
Jarred: Well… Maybe… (He gives an alarmingly sweet smile.)
M: Jarred, what did you do?
Jarred: It was an accident! I was trying to find Rosie’s catnip mouse and I accidentally hit a button on the Bad Fic Finder. Then I tried to fix it, but there were so many buttons and I just kept hitting them and hitting them and I finally gave up about ten minutes later.
M: Uh huh. So you do realize that you changed almost every setting that I had spent hours customizing.
Jarred: I’m sorry! I was going to tell you, but you get so mad!
M: Well, it’s not a big deal. I’ll just go through and customize it again. Until then, we need to get to the theatre. These “stories” must be taken care of.
Gwen: Right. After that can we go back to bed?
Melanie: Yeah, Santa’s not going to give us any presents if we’re awake when he comes to visit.
M: I’m going to pretend that Melanie did not just say that. Come on, people.
(The MiSTers groan and follow M out of the conference room.)
(Everyone takes their seats and stretch out.)
Tempest: This is going to be so much fun. We haven’t done an original story since….
Deangelo: (Cringing.) Under the Moon.
Dominick: Oh yeah…
Gwen: Oh great, you just had to bring that up, didn’t you?
M: Is everyone ready?
M: Here we go!
Deangelo: (Singing.) Can make this world seem bright!
Dominick & Jarred: (Singing.) Only you!
Deangelo: (Singing.) Can make the darkness light!
Dominick: That song is dedicated to all of the ladies.
>By *Frozen Soul *
Gwen: Emo much?
M: (From the control room.) Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that all of the crappy stories the fic finder found were emo. So yeah. Enjoy!
Jarred: Binxy? Is that the main character’s name?
Kalinda: Well, we are off to a rip roaring start.
Melanie: Hold me back, Kalinda. I can’t remember the last time I was this excited.
>When i was born my life had already been decided by my parents.
Deangelo: High school, clown college, then straight to Ringling.
>I was home-schooled and could never leave the house,
>except to play in the back yard but even then our back yard was fenced in by tall hedge. one from which i couldn’t see out and no one could see in,
Melanie: Ooo, like the Secret Garden?
>but i was about to change all that…
Tempest: By becoming a stripper!
Deangelo: Tempest… why?
Tempest: Come on, you shelter someone too much they’re going to do something wild and crazy when they get into their teens. Behind every good girl is a bad girl waiting to come out.
>1. My Choice
Dominick: (Binxy.) Decaf mocha latté skim, please.
>I was up in my room sitting on the windowsill watching the world that kept moving while i stood still.
Kalinda: (Binxy.) So I decided to write a song about it.
>From my window everything looked so beautiful but would i ever truly see the world??
Gwen: I think the question here is; does anyone truly see the world or are we all just suffering from different delusions that manage to coincide with each other?
Dominick: Wow, I didn’t know we were going to get all philosophical and shit.
>Well i was about to find our!! I hurried down the stairs to the kitchen where my mother and father sat sipping their evening coffee watching the news.
Melanie: (Mother.) Oh look dear, there’s another serial killer loose in the community.
Dominick: (Father.) I see that, darling. Good thing we keep our teenage daughter locked up in the house.
M: (From the control room.) Okay, for the next section the different speakers were denoted by different colored text. Since we MiST in black and white —
Gwen: As we should!
M: (From the control room.) — I added the names in myself. This will explain why all of the names are spelled correctly and consistently capitalized.
>Binxy: Mom? Dad? Can I talk to you please??
>Mom: Of course Sweety! Sit down…
Gwen: Binxy. What a bloody silly name.
Jarred: Yeah, even the names M comes up with aren’t that bad.
>I walked over to the table and sat down between my mom and dad. I was nervous and very fidgety, I felt like i was in front of a very large crowd.
Kalinda: Uh, this girl has never been around people before. Like ever. How would she know what it feels like to be in front of a large crowd?
>Binxy: Mom, dad, I truly do appreciate everything you’ve done for me in life but…
Tempest: (Binxy.) I’m pregnant with Tiger Wood’s love child and I’m leaving home to go raise little Panther on my own.
>I want to go out and experience the world, I want to go to a normal high school and I wanted to ask you if i may, please??
Dominick: Bah! High school is so overrated.
Melanie: You wouldn’t know. You were never there.
Kalinda: Dom, did you ever graduate?
Dominick: Well… Not really.
Jarred: That’s such a shame. You should go back to school and get your GED.
Dominick: Yeah, what a great idea! (He stands.) M, I need you to stop the MiST so I can go study and earn a GED.
M: (From the control room.) Not a chance. Sit down.
Dominick: M, you’re holding me back!
M: (From the control room.) From what?
Dominick: My life!
M: (From the control room.) Keep MiSTing, we’ll talk about this later.
>They stared at me blankly, like what I’d just said made no sense in anyway, but it made perfect sense!!
Kalinda: (Binxy.) At least the voices in my head told me that it made sense. And the voices have never lied to me before.
>Mom: Sweety, please tell me you’re joking…
>Binxy: No, I’m not mom! I want to got to a public school and make friends and go to classes and all that stuff!!^.^
Melanie: Did she just squee?
Kalinda: It looks like it.
>Mom: I’m sorry but, no!
>My mouth dropped to the floor in astonishment!Dx
Jarred: (O_O!!) Dear lord! That girl’s entire jaw just dropped right off!
Dominick: What’s with the “Dx”?
M: (From the control room.) It’s a smiley that denotes screaming or yelling.
Gwen: How do you know that?
M: (From the control room.) Because I have the Urban Dictionary, that’s why.
>Binxy: Why not!?!?!?! All the normal teenagers go to high school! You’ve kept me locked in this house my entire life and now it’s time for you to let me be normal!
Jarred: It seems odd that a girl who has lived inside her house for so long doesn’t believe that her life is normal. She’s never experienced anything else, how is she to know?
Gwen: The story did mention that her parents watch TV. Perhaps her own TV experience has shown her that her existence is not typical.
>Mom: I’m sorry but, the answer is still no!
Deangelo: (Mom.) Yes, for no discernable reason, you have to stay here in this house!
>I was so angry with her, why couldn’t i go to a normal high school and make friends???
Gwen: Here it comes.
>Binxy: I HATE YOU!!!!!
Gwen: I knew it.
>I ran to my room crying, I didn’t really mean what I said i was just so angry!
Tempest: Dude, she needs to work on her negotiating skillz.
>WHAT’S GOING ON DOWNSTAIRS
Jarred: I don’t know. What’s going on downstairs?
>Mom: Honey, why can’t she go to school with other teens?
>Dad: Because, I don’t want her to get hurt…
Kalinda: Seriously? That’s the reason?
>Mom: Well dear, she’s going to have to experience the world sooner or later why not sooner??
Melanie: (Dad.) Because I’m too clichéd to think of anything else to say.
>Dad: But what if she doesn’t like it,
All MiSTers: She won’t.
>what if people are so mean to her
All MiSTers: They will be.
> that she runs away or something??
>Mom: The world is full of ugly and beautiful things and people,
Tempest: As a beautiful thing myself, I can back up that statement.
>she already knows that…
Gwen: How exactly?
>2. dream come true
Dominick: Yeah, damn it, dream, come true already!
>there was a soft knock at my door.
Jarred: Pizza delivery!
>Binxy: It’s open!
>i yelled, I looked up to see my dad walking over,
Melanie: Carrying a syringe full of barbiturates.
Deangelo: Nice vocabulary usage, Melanie.
Melanie: Watch enough CSI, you learn stuff.
>he sat down next to me and put his hand on my shoulder.
Gwen: I hope this isn’t going in the direction I think it’s going in…
Tempest: Seriously, Gwen. A guy puts his hand on his daughter’s shoulder and you’re worried he’s going to have sex with her or something?
Gwen: Think back, with that tiny little brain of yours, to all the other fics we’ve MiSTed. Would you put it past some authors?
Tempest: No, but come on. There’s no reason to be paranoid.
Gwen: Tempest, there is an excellent reason to be paranoid. You know why? Because they’re all out to get us.
>Dad: Sweety, I’ve talked to your mom and she’s decided to let you go to public school.
Deangelo: (Dad.) Not that the bitch listened to me or anything.
>I jumped up screaming an dancing all around.
Jarred: She is going to be soooo disillusioned when she gets to high school.
>Dad: On 1 condition!
>Binxy: What is it I’ll do anything!!!!XD
Gwen: Still think I’m being paranoid?
Tempest: Let’s see what the condition is first before we start making judgments.
>Dad: You have to have a cell phone on you at all times and…
Melanie: And? I thought it was only one condition.
>you are going to learn to drive and get your license so you can drive yourself. Got it?
Dominick: Those are conditions? Come on, you didn’t want the girl to go to high school now you’re giving her a cell phone and making sure that she’s mobile. What kind of crappy parenting paranoia is that?
>i was so happy that i ran down stairs and attacked my mom
Jarred: (O_O!!) She attacks people when she’s happy? I’d hate to see her upset.
>who was smiling for the first time ever!
Gwen: A person cannot go 16 years without smiling. It’s just not possible.
Tempest: What if someone had a messed up face?
Tempest: What if someone had a problem with their face that prevented them from smiling. Like ever. What then?
Gwen: Tempest, if this woman had a messed up face then she wouldn’t be able to smile now.
Tempest: Oh. Never mind.
>Mom: we’re going shopping tomorrow! OK!!!
Dominick: Weeee… Shopping… I bet we’re going to go on that stirring field trip.
>3. Shopping trip!!!
Melanie: Right as usual, Dominick.
>It was about noon when we arrived at the mall, it was practically empty which made me very ?happy.
Gwen: Okay, so this girl has never been off her home’s property. So according to the story she has never been to a store before, let alone to a mall.
>Mom: OK Binxy! Which store do you wanna go to first?
Gwen: Binxy would have no way of knowing what stores are there or what they have in them. She’s never been to a mall before.
>Binxy: Ummmm… How bout we go to Spencers for a bb(book bag) first?
Tempest: What if she looked the stores up online?
Gwen: Did the story say that she has an internet connection?
Tempest: Well, no. But it also doesn’t continually say that she breathes, but we know she’s doing that.
Melanie: She could have looked up the mall and gone to various store’s websites, but there’s only so much you can learn over the internet.
Deangelo: For someone who kept their daughter in their house for over a decade and a half she is suddenly very agreeable.
>I grabbed my moms arm and pulled her to spencers, they had amazing bb’s, but as soon as we walked in I knew which one i wanted.
Melanie: Okay, place your bets, ladies and gents. What stereotypical emo themed backpack will the girl pick out.
Gwen: Something with an emo band on it.
Kalinda: Hello Kitty.
M: (From the control room.) Hello Kitty isn’t emo.
Kalinda: No, but lots of emos like Hello Kitty.
M: (From the control room.) Hitler used Darwin’s theory of eugenics to serve his evil purposes, it doesn’t mean that Darwin is a Nazi.
Kalinda: Point taken. Put me down for Hello Kitty.
Jarred: Something from Twilight. Bonus points if it’s Team Edward.
Tempest: Something with Johnny Depp.
Dominick: Personally, I think she’s a Justin Timberlake kind of girl.
Deangelo: Nightmare Before Christmas.
>They had a black and white Nightmare Before X-mas bag with jack and sally in the grave yard.
Deangelo: Ha ha! I was right!
Kalinda: Well, damn.
Deangelo: What do I win?
Gwen: Our respect and admiration. Also a slightly awkward moment because I have no idea how you could possibly guess that.
>I grabbed it and then looked for things like new school outfits and pens or pencils and such.
Melanie: Oh yeah, actual school supplies might help.
>While looking I’d managed to find almost all my school supplies and they were also nightmare before x-mas!
Tempest: Ya know what seems odd to me?
Kalinda: This entire story?
Tempest: Well yeah, that and how does this girl manage to keep up with current trends when she’s been secluded her entire life. Can someone really manage to be a fully integrated part of a culture with just the internet and TV?
Gwen: (Whispering to Deangelo.) Did Tempest just say something intelligent?
Deangelo: (Whispering to Gwen.) I’d imagine cold front that froze over hell to be moving in any time now.
>I also managed to find this amazingly, adorable hat, it was one where you have the little things that dangle on the sides
Kalinda: Any idea what she’s talking about here, M?
M: (From the control room.) She either referring to a Peruvian hat or a trapper hat.
Gwen: And how long did it take you to look that information up with that vague description?
M: (From the control room.) Counting the time it took me to type the information into the Google Image search, about 45 seconds.
Dominick: Yep, far too much time to spend looking things up. Better stick to writing about skinny jeans.
>and that was nightmare before x-mas to! I bought all that and a couple of new belts with Jack on them.
Deangelo: Alright already, we get it, she likes Nightmare Before Christmas. I don’t want to hear every detail of her new wardrobe. OMG, this is boring.
M: (From the control room.) You’re in for a lot more of it, unfortunately.
>So we left spencers and headed for hot topic my fave store in the whole wide world!XD
Tempest: Her favorite store that she had never been in until that day. Maybe she ordered from the online store?
>I found so many adorable outfits like zebra skinnies with a brand new attack!attack! shirt and awesome high-tops, like 3 new pairs.
Deangelo: Zebra skinnies? Attack Attack?
Dominick: I don’t know, I never got into the emo subculture. It all makes me feel kind of old though. You know? This is what all of the kids are into these days and it’s just passing us by.
Melanie: It can keep on passing. I want no part in this non-conformist conformity bullshit.
Kalinda: It’s okay, Mel. I don’t think anyone over 25 is allowed to be emo anyway.
>We payed for our things and headed for the food court where we got stuff from subway, which i found out is really good!! XD
Gwen: So she once again tries to stress that this girl has been deprived of normal everyday experiences while providing no explanation for why she seems to know so much about them.
Tempest: You’re right! I propose an experiment. M isn’t allowed to leave her house for 20 years and we’ll see how well she keeps up with the times by only using the internet and TV.
Dominick: Uh, M doesn’t keep up with the times anyway.
M: (From the control room.) You do realize that I can hear you, right?
>Mom: all right binxy, is that it??
>Binxy: there are only 3 more places i would like to go, guess?
Deangelo: Social services, child protection services and the police station.
>Mom: ummmm…. debs,…claires, and……………. payless?
>Binxy: yuppers! Wow mama you really do know me don’t you?
Gwen: I find this entire conversation impossible. But never mind.
>we hurried to debs first because you need lots of outfits before you can find accessories.
Deangelo: But of course.
>So when we got there i tried on millions of things but only ended up buying 5 new pairs of neon skinnies, 4 new tops, and 2 pairs of heals.
>Oh! and i got 6 new ties.
Kalinda: Thank goodness for that. I’d imagine the entire plot line would collapse without that valuable information being disclosed.
>Then we headed to claires for some earrings which i bought 3 pairs then we got some more stuff like that from hot topic and then headed to payless.
Dominick: Oh please tell me what you bought at Payless, oh please, oh please, oh please.
>While there i bought 4 new pairs of shoes and one pair of boots. tehe
Melanie: “Tehe”? What is that?
Gwen: A poor man’s “teehee”?
Jarred: Apparently, she couldn’t afford to buy vowels.
>Binxy: all right mama can i do one more thing? since school still don’t start for two weeks can i get my snake bites and my nose pierced?
M: (From the control room.) Snake bites are a facial piercing of the lower lip on either side. The same piercings on the top lip are referred to as angel bites.
Melanie: Hey, I knew what snake bites were!
Deangelo: You did?
Melanie: Yeah, I took an internet quiz to see which emo piercing I should get. My result was snake bites.
Deangelo: ….. Why?
Melanie: I’m stuck on a satellite! There isn’t that much to do around here, in case you haven’t noticed!
>Mom: sure why not !!!!!!
Gwen: So this woman went from refusing to let her teenage daughter out of the house to allowing her to pierce her face multiple times?
Tempest: Is it time for some hot emo loving?
Jarred: Does that even exist?
>It was finally here, my first day of school, well… real school.
Kalinda: (Binxy.) Not like that fake crap that my parents teach me.
>I was really excited so i decided to wear a brand new outfit!
Dominick: Oh please tell me what you’re going to wear, oh please, oh please, oh please.
>I wore my zebra skinnies with my attack!attack! shirt and my digital high-tops(thats what i call them).
Gwen: This reminds me of a Barbra Taylor Bradford book I read. She spent most of her time discussing her character’s outfits as if that somehow substituted for a plot.
Deangelo: Why were you reading one of her books?
Gwen: It was a long flight.
>I hurried down stairs and grabbed my nightmare before xmas hat from spencers and told my dad i was all set!
>Dad: Binxy! here…
Dominick: Dad suddenly lobs a large wooden bat at her head, rendering her unconscious. She wakes up back in her bedroom with facial piercings removed. End of story.
>i turned just in time to catch a set of car keys,
Melanie: (Dad.) Get my car waxed after you finish school. Okay, muffin?
>i gave my dad a puzzled look and walked to the garage to find a neon green lambo with a black nightmare before xmas decal of jack.
Deangelo: Oh look! It’s the emo mobile!
Dominick: Wait a minute, lambo? As in Lamborghini?
Gwen: Is that one of those silly cars with the doors that flip up instead of opening out?
Dominick: The very same. They also tend to cost around $200,000.
Melanie: Seriously? This girl’s first car is a brand new Lamborghini?
>I hugged my dad, told him thanx, got in my new car, and turned my i-pod up full blast. This was going to be the best day of my life!!
M: (From the control room.) You know, I think that this character is actually the idealized self of the writer.
Tempest: What do you mean?
M: (From the control room.) She starts off with a legitimate reason to dislike to her parents, instead of the usual “they made me take out of the garbage” nonsense. But then in an instant she is allowed freedom and loads of material possessions that would appeal to a girl her age. She suddenly has a great life.
Dominick: Well, let’s reserve judgment for when she starts school.
>I was finally at school, for the 1st time i had a school!^.^
>I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and walked into the school, there were students everywhere, every person wore a diff. style
Jarred: But if they’re all different then how can she spot her fellow emos?
>it was just so exciting. I picked up my schedule and headed for my 1st class, english with Mr. randall.
Deangelo: Judging by this author’s literary prowess it makes me wonder what they’re actually teaching in English classes these days.
Jarred: But is the problem the teachers or the students?
>I hurried in to the class but basically all the seats were taken except for one, towards the back of the class next to a boy,
Tempest: Emo love, here we come!
Kalinda: Seriously. Emos sound too self-absorbed to actually be able to care about someone else.
>he had messy black hair and wore skinnies and convers and much like me he had snake bites,
Dominick: Come to think of it, I got into a fight with a dude that had snake bites once.
Melanie: Really? What happened?
Dominick: It gave me something to grab onto.
>if i could describe him in one word it would be adorable!=^.^=
Jarred: Awww! They make such a cute couple.
>I walked over and sat down next to him, setting my bag on the floor i looked over to him and said.
Gwen: (Binxy.) Are you my default emo lover?
>Binxy: Hezzo, my name is Binx, nice to meet you!^.6
Melanie: Come to think of it, if she’s been sheltered her entire life then the only people she’s ever interacted with are her parents. How would she have any social skills?
Tempest: TV? Besides, it’ll be easy for her to talk to someone who’s basically herself without boobs.
>he looked at me and smiled.
Deangelo: Then he started backing away slowly.
>Alistair: Hey! I’m Alistair, pronounced al-i-star,
Gwen: No, it’s not. It’s pronounced AL-is-tayr or AL-is-ter. The first is the English pronunciation, like all good, rational people use, the other is American.
Dominick: Not to mention that if he just told her his name he just pronounced it to her. Telling her how it’s said is redundant.
>it is also nice to meet you! XD
>I smiled back and suddenly became nervous.
Deangelo: (Binxy.) Did I remember to turn the stove off before I left for school?
>Alistair: so… Binx, that’s an interesting name, can i call you……..hmm…………….Binxy??
>Binxy: ya! my mama calls me Binxy every now and then! XD
Tempest: So when does the emo love start?
Kalinda: Seriously, Temp, they just met.
Tempest: Soooooo, I can expect some action around lunch time?
>Then the teacher started talking, he went up and down the rows asking names, when he reached Alistair.
Jarred: He taught him how to diagram a sentence.
>Teacher: And you are??
Kalinda: (Batman.) Your worst nightmare.
>Alistair: Alistair Maxwell! n.l
>Teacher: You’re next girlie in the hat!
Melanie: Nice to see that teachers maintain their professionalism in schools these days.
>Binxy: Oh! ummm… Binx Clearwater.
Deangelo: Isn’t Clearwater the last name of a character in Twilight?
M: (From the control room.) Right you are, D.
>Everyone turned to stare, i cold feel the warmth rush to my cheeks.
>Alistair: That’s really your name??
Kalinda: Ya know, bad as it is, at least her name isn’t Metallica or something. In Sweden you can actually name kids that.
>Binxy: yes it is! And i like it!! n.l
Deangelo: M, what’s up with the “n.l”?
M: (From the control room.) No clue.
Deangelo: You can’t find any information about it?
M: (From the control room.) Not on Google or Urban Dictionary. I’m assuming it’s some obscure kind of emoticon or the author let her cat have a crack at writing.
>I lifted my head up to look at Alistair and he was sitting there smiling matter of factly at Mr. Randall.
Gwen: Uh, how do you smile matter-of-factly at someone?
Tempest: You… uh… well, you can… no wait, that wouldn’t work.
>Teacher: Well then.
>After class Alistair and i checked to see if we had any other classes together, and we did! we had all except for two.
Tempest: Perfect! Now no one can get in the way of their emo love!
>The next class flew by with Alistair there beside me then lunch came.
Dominick: Great to see how much attention actual school work is getting in this story.
>Alistair: Hey Binxy?
Jarred: (Alistair.) What’s the meaning of life?
>Alistair: What are you doing for lunch??
>Binxy: i-have-no-mother-flicking-clue!!! lols XD
Kalinda: I have no motherflicking clue what the hell this author has been doing in English class for the past 11 years? Because she sure as hell hasn’t been paying attention.
>Alistair burst out laughing and grabbed my arm pulling me outside to the parking lot.
Melanie: So he can stab her repeatedly without anyone watching.
>Alistair: How would you like to have lunch with me??
>I nearly attacked Alistair in joy, i finally had a friend!!^.^
Jarred: She sure likes to attack people when she’s happy.
>Alistair was so happy, his smile more amazing then the stars.
Tempest: (Binxy.) And his ass was more amazing than the moon!
>Binxy: So, come on!!
>Alistair: Wait! were going to mcdonalds and where are you dragging me to?
>Binxy: tehe…. to my car!!
Gwen: Which, by this time, has no doubt been stolen or vandalized.
>He looked over to my neon green lambo and his jaw dropped to the ground.
>Binxy: I thought you would like my car! Let’s go!!
Dominick: Come on, what teenage boy isn’t going to like that car? The color might induce vomiting, but other than that, it’s a dream car.
>I grabbed his hand and shoved him into the passenger side then got in the car and drove off to, mcdonalds?
Melanie: I love how that sentence ends in a question mark.
Dominick: Or indigestion?
>When we arrived at McDonald’s i didn’t know what to get.
>Binxy: Alistair? I don’t know what to get? O_O
Gwen: After everything else she’s done in the last few weeks I can see why ordering off the menu at McDonald’s would present an unfathomable quandary to her.
>he started giggling at me, then said…
Tempest: (Alistair.) I wish to feast upon your young and virginal blood.
Others: (O_O) What?!
Tempest: Just a little Twilight reference for all the fans out there.
>Alistair: I’ll order for you OK?, i nodded shyly.
>Check out girl: Hello!, looking Alistair up and down, May i take your order?
Jarred: (Alistair.) One whopper, please.
>I most certainly did not like this girl!>.< I mean she was flirting with my Alistair!
Tempest: Uh, she just looked at the guy. Does that constitute flirting now?
Dominick: I once dated a girl that thought making eye contact with another woman was cheating.
Tempest: Ugh, I can’t stand jealousy. Seriously.
MiSTers: (O_O) What?!
>Did i just say MY Alistair?!?!?
MiSTers: (O_O) Yes!
>Alistair: Ya! I would like two small chocolate shakes and two large fries, please?
>Alistair said this with such a non-flirty tone that the girl frowned angrily!
Gwen: Wow, I didn’t realize that you could serve up ultimate rejection with only your tone of voice.
Deangelo: Uh, yeah.
>Check out girl: That will be 8.50(guessing)
Jarred: She’s guessing? Why doesn’t she just look at the cash register for the total?
>Alistair looked for his wallet and the girls smile returned.
>Check out girl: Ya know, if you lost your wallet i could pay for your meal, if…. you go on a date with me?
Tempest: Okay, so she’s a hooker now?
Deangelo: I wouldn’t trust her. After paying for the date she would probably expect me to go further with her than I feel comfortable.
Gwen: (Strokes Deangelo’s arm.) There, there, Deangelo. No one will ever compromise your moral fortitude.
>I slammed my money on the counter and said.
>Binxy: That won’t be necessary!
Tempest: (Binxy.) I’m prepared to pay for my man’s affections!
>Alistair cracked up laughing, and looked over at me.
>Alistair: wow! Thanx you just saved my life!hahahahaha
Dominick: (Alistair.) That inane little check out girl obviously put me in mortal peril.
>I smiled, he didn’t like her, good! we went and sat in the play are to eat.
Kalinda: Then Alistair went to play in the ball pit and was stabbed by a discarded syringe that was full of heroin. The next day he died tragically from AIDS.
>Alistair: So… Was someone jealous or what?
>i turned red with embarassment .
Tempest: (Binxy.) Just because I’ll cut any bitch that talks to you doesn’t mean that I’m jealous.
>Binxy: What are you talking about??
>I asked frantically.
>Alistair: Well that check out girl was jealous of you.
Jarred: (Alistair.) Jealous that you have a $200,000 car while she piddles her life away working at a fast food restaurant.
>Binxy: Oh! why?O_o
>Alistair: Well because 1 She like me and you’re hanging out with me and 2 well… You’re beautiful…
Gwen: But of course. She wouldn’t be a proper Mary Sue if she wasn’t.
>Alistair was so sweet, i leaned over and kissed his cheek sweetly!v.l
>Binxy: Awww, thanx Alistair!
Deangelo: Well, look at that. One day of freedom and she’s already kissing boys.
>His cheeks turned bright red, he was just so adorable. then i noticed him dunk his french fry in his milk shake.
Kalinda: Ew. That is so gross.
>Binxy: What are you doing??
>Alistair: Dunking my french fries in my milk shake, here… try it , it’s really good…
Kalinda: He lies! It just makes your nice crispy French fries soggy and disgusting.
>He said sing-song like whilst handing me a french fry he’d dunked in my milk shake. I took a bite and it was an explosion in my mouth. lols
Tempest: (o_O) Really?
Dominick: I know what you’re thinking, Tempest. Don’t even say it.
Tempest: Humph! Fine then.
>Binxy: Alistair! You’re a genius!!!
Melanie: What? Like he invented it or something? Come on.
>I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly. We finished eating and headed back to school.
Jarred: I might not be an expert on nutrition, but eating French fries and milkshakes for lunch doesn’t sound like a balanced meal.
Gwen: Believe me, Jarred, that is the least of her problems right now.
>My next class i unfortunately didn’t have with Alistair, instead i got made fun of until i ran out crying.
Melanie: Well, that was quick.
Kalinda: I love the skillful way the author describes her torment and really lets the reader feel her pain and frustration.
>On my way to my locker i called my mama, then i ran into someone. It was Alistair, I was as happy as he was to see me…
Dominick: That’s convenient.
Gwen: Of anguish!
>Alistair: What’s wrong Binxy????O_O
>I looked away trying to hide my tears but it was no use, he saw right through me.
Dominick: I know I hate it when I go all transparent and stuff.
>Alistair: Were people making fun of you???!
>I sat silent looking at the floor.
Deangelo: (Alistair.) Let’s to go cut ourselves.
>Alistair: Binxy!!, I looked up, Tell me please…
>I could see that he was worried but i didn’t understand why.
Tempest: (Binxy.) I also didn’t understand what these wet things coming out of my eyes were. Life is so confusing!
>I wrapped my arms around him and cried into his chest, he didn’t even care that i hadn’t told him. He held me tighter as i began to shake with the tears that fell.
Dominick: Is a teacher or some kind of adult going to break up this little emo love fest?
>Binxy: Thank you so much for being here Alistair…, i whispered quietly.
>Alistair: I’ll always be here Binxy…
Deangelo: Clearly they have forged an indestructible bond over the 6 hours that they spent together.
>I lifted my head to look at him.
>Binxy: Alistair can i stay with you for the next two days?
Gwen: Can you what?!
Jarred: She just met him a few hours ago! He could be a sociopath or something!
Melanie: He’s an emo, it’s basically the same thing.
>(school started on a Friday so you got the weekend off)
>Alistair looked at me with surprise.
>Alistair: But… Will your mom really let you?
Kalinda: Why not? In the last two weeks she’s allowed her daughter to go to public school, get three facial piercings, bought her a sports car and gave her a cell phone. How else can you top that?
>Binxy: If i say I’m staying at a GIRLfriends house…
>i said with a sly smile.
Jarred: You’d think that someone who was so dependant on her parents wouldn’t be so happy to get away from them.
Deangelo: That observation might actually have a grounding in psychology. That clearly has nothing to do with this story.
>Alistair: Well, we could say you’re staying with my sis?
>Binxy: YAY! Thanx you Alistair!!!!
Tempest: Uh, doesn’t he need to ask his parents or something?
>i hugged Alistair even tighter
Melanie: Cutting off his circulation.
>and then headed back to class. 7th block was the best because it flew by so fast.My first day was finally over,
Dominick: Not bad for a first day. Although she didn’t vandalize any school property. I always made sure to do that on my first day. It let the school staff remember how much they missed me over summer break.
>I grabbed Alistair and we went to our locker put our stuff away, and pulled him to my car.
Gwen: Which still hasn’t been stolen or vandalized.
>Alistair: Are you sure your parents don’t care?
Tempest: (Binxy.) Of course not, their authoritarian control over me is now completely gone for no adequately explained reason!
>Binxy: Absolutely! Alistair, they will love you! ^.^
>We drove until we finally reached my mansion of a house, i walked into the house where my mama was waiting for me.
Kalinda: Anyone want to guess how the mom reacts to her teenage daughter rolling up with a boy in tow, asking if she can spend the night at his place?
Dominick: She’ll probably say “okay!!!!” then go drink a bottle of vodka out of shame.
>Mom: So! how was-
>She trailed when Alistair walked into the room.
Deangelo: (Alistair.) Hi there! Don’t mind my facial piercings, I have a really great personality!
>Binxy: Mama, this is Alistair! He is my bestie!
>My mom just stared blankly.
Gwen: (Mom.) Where did I go wrong!?
>Binxy: By the way for the next two days I’m staying at my friends!
>I hurried and pulled Alistair to my room before my mom could say no.
Melanie: Really? That’s all it takes? A quick getaway?
>Alistair: Your mom didn’t seem happy to see me. 😦
>Binxy: She’s just surprised that my first bestie is a guy, so ya.
Deangelo: So why isn’t the mother up the stairs and in this girl’s room informing her that she’s not spending two nights at some strange boy’s house?
>We hurried and packed my stuff, i grabbed my wallet and made sure that i had money like always.
Kalinda: Why would Binx have a wallet? She never goes anywhere so she never needs cash.
>We were finally set to go, so we ran down stairs, i hugged my dad and we were gone!
Deangelo: Even her dad didn’t try to stop her?
Kalinda: Yeah, this story just goes from realism to realism.
>XD When we arrived at Alistair’s, the first thing that i saw was a beautiful husky which were my faves.
>Alistair: Oh ya that’s my dog waffles!
Dominick: Dog waffles?
Gwen: I think she missed a comma.
Dominick: Dog waffles. Hey Mel, can I have a dog waffles?
Melanie: I don’t think dog waffles would play well with Rosie.
Jarred: From Digimon! I loved that show.
Dominick: Please, no! This story is annoying enough without a Digimon character thrown into the mix.
Tempest: Well, look at it this way; this girl is probably to young to even remember Digimon.
Jarred & Dominick: (O_O!!) Too young?
Dominick: Oh my God, I’m old! (Buries his head in Melanie’s shoulder and begins to cry.)
Melanie: There, there, Dommie.
>I ran over and started to pet waffles who was extremely adorable.
>Binxy: Awwwww! he’s so cute!! V.l
M: (From the control room.) No idea. The Urban Dictionary has failed me.
Gwen: You know, it could be something that’s only meaningful to author herself or some of her friends. Like an inside joke.
M: (From the control room.) Could be. Could also be some kind of involuntary muscle spasm that keeps typing these nonsensical add-ons.
>Alistair came over and joined me, he seemed so quiet though?
>Binxy: You OK Alistair?
Jarred: (Alistair.) I’m fine! Just trying to figure out the best way to explain to my parents why I brought home some random emo chick that I just met.
>Alistair: Ya! I’m fine! KKs lets go inside so you can meet Sora. n.n
>We said Bai to Waffles
All MiSTers: Bai!
>and went into Alistair’s home.
>A girl came running out of the kitchen and nearly tackled Alistair.
Jarred: So this girl is supposed to be his sister, right?
Melanie: I guess so.
Tempest: Dude, when have teenage siblings ever been this close?
Deangelo: Maybe their emo-ness has bonded them together.
>She was beautiful, she had black, green, and pink hair with her lip and nose pierced.
Dominick: (o_O) Tricolored hair? Well, they do say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
>Alistair: Gosh! Didn’t think you missed me that much! l.l
>Sora: Well… I did!
>She said with a pouty face.
Deangelo: Would I be paranoid if I asked if anyone else got the feeling that these two siblings have a relationship that is entirely too close?
>Sora: OOH! Who’s this??0_0
>She got off of Alistair and was circling me.
Dominick: Preparing for the kill.
>Alistair: Sora that’s Binx!n.n Binxy that’s my sister Sora!6-6
>Sora attacked me
Melanie: With a very large hammer.
>with excitement and joy then got up, but… When i got up she didn’t expect me to attack back! and i did..XD
Melanie: With a very large mallet.
Kalinda: (Alistair.) Because assault is funny!
>We all laid on the floor laughing hysterically until our sides couldn’t take it anymore.
Gwen: And their sides got up and left.
>Alistair helped us each up after a minute.
>Alistair: You get to stay in Sora’s room with her, kks?
Jarred: Wow, so they’re instant friends now?
Tempest: That’s just how sexual attraction works. You can see someone once and immediately you know if you’re going to sex them up or not.
Kalinda: You can?
Tempest: Well, I can at least.
Dominick: Are you going to sex me up?
>Sora hugged me tightly then helped me carry my things to her room. For the rest of the day Sora and Alistair showed me around town and took me places I’d never been.
Dominick: Um, which is, like, everywhere. She’s never been out of the house before, remember?
>When we got back to the house we all put on our pj’s and watched a horror flick. Sora was so scared that she cuddled into my side, which was OK with me. 🙂
Jarred: It is?
>(BTW Binx ish bi)
Deangelo: Of course, that’s what all the kids are into these days.
>After the movie Alistair went to his room so he could sleep and sora and i did the same, Sora fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, but i was restless and couldn’t find it in me to sleep.
Melanie: Okay, I bet she wanders off into the night and ends up on Cold Case Files 20 years later after her body is discovered in a back alley.
Deangelo: I feel slightly more optimistic so I’m going to say she goes upstairs to visit Alistair.
Jarred: I think she’s going to start making a huge breakfast for everyone!
Tempest: IDK, but I hope it involves someone taking their clothes off.
>At 1st i thought it was the heat so i switched into shorts and a tank-top but even after that i >still couldn’t sleep.
Tempest: Woot! Tempest wins!
Kalinda: She might have taken her clothes off, but she put new ones back on.
Tempest: Details, details.
>So i crawled out of bed and tip-toed to Alistair’s room.
Melanie: Well, look at that. Deangelo wins.
Tempest: But I won! She took her clothes off first!
Gwen: I guess you’re both winners then.
Tempest: Fine then. I’m still a bigger winner than Deangelo.
>I opened the door to find Alistair fast asleep, he looked adorable in his black and red boxers! N.n
Gwen: Am I the only person who thinks that that’s inappropriate for children their age?
Melanie: Am I the only person who noticed that Alistair and Sora don’t seem to have parents?
Jarred: Am I the only person who wants to listen to Emma Bunton songs while we bake Christmas cookies?
>I stepped in but the floor creaked beneath me and Alistair woke, he turned to face me.
Dominick: He was looking directly at me when I swung the axe, landing it right in between his eyes.
>Alistair: Binxy? What are you doing?
Deangelo: (Binxy.) Quantum physics.
>Binxy: I can’t sleep…
>I looked down worried that Alistair was mad at me for waking him from his slumber.
Tempest: Teenage boy wakes up to find a cute teenage girl in his bedroom? He’s going to be feeling something, but it’s not anger.
>Alistair: Well come here! n.n
Deangelo: Okay M, let’s try this once more. What is “n.n”?
M: (From the control room.) According to my sources it means “happy anime eye face”.
Deangelo: What on earth does that mean?
M: (From the control room.) I have no idea.
>I walked over as Alistair turned on a lamp. He looked up as i stopped in front of him, his eyes grew wide.
Tempest: Here comes the hot emo loving!
>I was wearing black shorts and a black tank-top.
Gwen: Yes, we already know that. Thank you. Talking about clothes doesn’t substitute for a plot!
>Alistair moved over to make room for me, pulling the blankies up i crawled in, turned off the light and laid down.
Dominick: Seriously? “Blankies”? Is the author 4 years old?
>Alistair: Are you cold?
>He asked as a shiver rolled up my spine. I nodded silently,
Gwen: Because nodding is usually so loud.
>snaking his arm around my waist and resting his hand on my lower back, he pulled me to him. >My cheeks became warm as the butterflies in my tummy fluttered wildly.=O_O=
Jarred: That must be uncomfortable.
>Alistair: Is this OK?
>He asked as he gently caressed the bare skin of my lower back.
Tempest: Here is comes, the emo love is on its way.
>I moved in closer wrapping my arms around his waist and snuggled into his chest. I felt him move his other arm so that he could play with my hair as i lay there.
Dominick: M, we shouldn’t be watching this! It’s just wrong and I feel dirty now.
Melanie: Maybe if you took a shower more often you could eliminate one of your problems.
>Alistair: Binxy, are you still awake?
Tempest: (Binxy.) Make sweet, sweet love to me, emo boy!
>I didn’t say a word but just laid there listening to the steady beat of his heart as it pounded in his chest, the beat so soothing and calm that i could feel my self slowly drifting.
Tempest: Awww, come on! Tempest needs action!
Kalinda: Can you please stop referring to yourself in the third person? You’re not The Rock and it just doesn’t work.
Tempest: That makes Tempest very upset.
>Alistair: I guess not… *sighs*… I wish i could tell you something but i doubt it would matter if i did… *sighs*
Jarred: If he’s tells her that he loves her I’m going to puke.
Kalinda: Really, Jay? You love gooey romances?
Jarred: This isn’t gooey, it’s just ridiculous.
>Then i felt his lips brush against my shoulder, bringing me out of my trance, as he ran his hand gently up and down my arm. Eventually i fell asleep to the sound of his heart and his soft touch…
Melanie: She later awoke to the sound of a chainsaw.
Gwen: M, this is just getting ridiculous. How many chapters are in this lousy story?!
M: (From the control room.) This is the last one. For now.
>I woke up to find Alistair fast asleep, he was so close that my heart began to race with excitement. I queitly got up without waking him and went down stairs.
Gwen: When she got to the kitchen she was greeted by her parents and several police officers.
>Sora: Oh! Hey Binx!!
Dominick: Hello! Person who appears out of nowhere.
>Binxy: You know you can call me Binxy?
>I said walking over to the counter.
>Sora: I know…
Gwen: Doesn’t really matter. Both names are still bloody silly.
>Sora looked over at me then slowly came to stand in front of me,
Melanie: Uh, what’s going on here?
>she placed her hands on each side of my face and brought her lips to mine.
Tempest: Emo love! I knew it!
>I snaked my arms around her and pulled her closer as i kissed back.
Deangelo: Yes, Tempest. Apparently you just got your emo love. Just not from the people you were expecting it from.
>Sora: WOW! I didn’t know that you were well…
>Binxy: That i am bi?
Kalinda: Uh, why would she try to kiss someone if she didn’t know whether or not they were even in the realm of her sexuality?
Tempest: Yeah, I at least make sure that I have a chance with someone before I try to make out with them. It’s just good manners.
>Sora stood there surprised, then gave me a small peck on the cheek before saying.
>Sora: Will you go out with me??
Dominick: So they met yesterday, they’ve known each other for about 12 hours, they’ve kissed once and now they’re going to date. I see marriage on the cards for these two crazy kids.
>I shook my head yes and she damn near pumbled me!
Gwen: “Pumbled”? Does she mean “pummeled”?
Jarred: It can’t be “mumbled”, that doesn’t make sense.
Deangelo: “Bumbled”, maybe.
Melanie: Oh, let’s call the whole thing off.
>Afterwards she made breakfast.
>Sora:Hey babe can you go get my brother?
>Binxy: Sure cutie!V.l
Melanie: (Binxy.) Anything you want, sugar muffin!
Dominick: (Sora.) Thanks so much, pudding bear!
Melanie: (Binxy.) Be right back, plum drop!
Dominick: (Sora.) I’ll be waiting, snuggle pups!
>I ran up the stairs and jumped on Alistair
Jarred: Causing major organ damage in the process.
>he woke up and hurried down cause he smelled waffles lols!! XD
>Sora: Thanx baby.
Melanie: (Binxy.) Not a problem, cuddle bunni!
>She said giving me a peck on the cheek.
>Alistair: Woo!!! Did i miss something??
Dominick: Yeah, about five minutes worth of confusing emo love.
>Sora: Oh Ya! Binx is bi, I asked her out, She said yes! ^.^I looked at Alistair and felt a small pang in my heart.
Tempest: Now she can date Alistair *and* Sora!
Gwen: I know that technically that’s not incest, but it just seems so wrong.
>He said queitly to Sora and I, he hurried up stairs and slammed his door Sora chased after and they came down about 10 minutes later.
M: (From the control room.) That’s the end. Guess we’ll have to do another MiST if we want to hear the rest of the story. Excitement!
Deangelo: You know, I can live with that cliff hanger ending.
Gwen: But for how long?
Deangelo: For the rest of my life, I think. Yes, the rest of my life. I’ll do just fine not knowing how this ridiculous story ends.
Jarred: Come on people, no more sitting around! We’ve got Christmas cookies to bake!
(The MiSTers and M are finishing up a batch of cookies while Rosie bats a piece of wrapping paper around the conference room.)
M: So this wasn’t such a bad Christmas after all.
(The MiSTers regard her suspiciously.)
Gwen: What’s your definition of “bad”?
M: Oh come on guys, I know you all really like to MiST. You just pretend to hate it.
Deangelo: No pretending is needed when it comes to the abysmal nonsense you put in front of us every day.
M: Well, you can’t make everyone happy. Now who’s up for some milk with their cookies.
Jarred: Hey, wait a minute. You said in the Yu-Gi-Oh Christmas MiST that I would get a special prize because I remembered who was the Ghost of Christmas Present. You never gave me a prize.
M: You’re right, Jarred. I’ll be right back.
(M scampers out of the conference room. The other MiSTers exchange glances.)
Gwen: Are you sure that was a good idea, Jarred? The “prize” could be something heinous and torturous.
Deangelo: What if it’s a trip from one to a place where you have to do nothing but MiST horrible fan fiction every day?
Dominick: It could be something nice, I mean, there’s no reason to be so suspicious.
Kalinda: We are talking about M here, remember?
(The conference room doors swing open and M returns with a small wrapped gift. She smiles at Jarred as she hands it to him.)
Jarred: (Nervously looking at the other MiSTers.) Thanks, M. That’s really nice of you.
M: No trouble at all. You have a really good memory, you know.
Jarred: Yeah, I’ve always been good at remembering things. (He turns the present over in his hands and examines it.)
M: Well, go on and open it.
(Jarred slowly removes the wrapping paper and reveals a CD. He studies the picture on the front.)
Jarred: Cheryl Cole, 3 words.
M: I thought you’d like it. To, you know, broaden your horizons.
Jarred: (^_^) I love Cheryl Cole! She’s so nice and pretty.
Gwen: (Whispering to Deangelo.) Did M just get Jarred a new obsession?
Deangelo: (Whispering to Gwen.) I believe she did…
M: (Looking around at all of the MiSTers.) Well, kids, let’s go do something fun. Who’s up for DDR?
Kalinda & Melanie: Me!!!
Dominick: I will if I have to. But I don’t want to hear anyone complain when I kick their ass.
Melanie: We’ll see about that.