The MiSTers enter Jarred in the 10K Commotion DDR competition in Hawaii. Will Jarred have what it takes to win big or will they all come back disappointed? Moreover, will they be able to handle the long and painful emo love story that M gives them to MiST?
Want to know more about MiSTing? Read Star’s Guide to MiSTing and educate yourself.
I don’t own any copyrighted characters, series or songs. Which should be obvious, because I didn’t copyright them. I didn’t write this fic. If I wrote it then I would have broken all of my fingers and canceled my net access to save the rest of humanity.
My intellectual property in this MiST is the witty remarks, my MiSTers, and the lovable mad. My characters are used only with my permission. Do you remember what happened to Schmuck? I do.
This MiSTing is NOT a personal attack on the author. It’s an attack on their terrible writing. This is not meant to be even slightly constructive, instead it is meant solely for the amusement of others.
It’s important to learn to laugh at ourselves. Don’t take life too seriously.
Melanie Bryce – The real way to a man’s heart is through his stomach cavity.
Dominick Dante – Uhhh, I came with Mel.
Gwenavere Donovan – Walk softly and carry a palm pilot.
Jarred Zion – Strangers are just friends that you haven’t met!
Deangelo Desiderio – Grumpy is the only one of the seven dwarfs I understand.
Tempest Lucki – I’m not a nymphomaniac, I’m a sex addict. There’s a difference.
Kalinda Beckham – Yes, that’s right, I’m the only remotely normal person here.
(M walks into the conference room to find Gwen and Deangelo curled up on the couch together watching Farscape and cuddling.)
M: Hey guys!
Deangelo: Little leopard, happy new year!
M: Yeah, happy. Where’s everyone else?
Gwen: Oh, they left you a note. (She points at the end of the conference table.)
(M discovers a letter with her name on it and opens it.)
M: (Reading aloud.) Dear M, we’ve all decided to enter Jarred in the 10K Commotion DDR tournament in Hawaii. We think he has a real shot at winning and hope that you understand why we went without telling you. You’ll be delighted to know that we have all become part of Jarred’s entourage. I’m now Jarred’s manager, Kalinda is his personal assistant, Melanie is security, and Tempest is his official cheerleader. Although between you and me I think Tempest just wanted to go to scope out the cute Hawaiian boys. We hope to return victorious! See you soon. Love, Dominick.
Gwen: So that’s why Tempest was complaining about not being able to find spanky pants in her size.
M: (Setting down the letter.) How long ago did they leave?
Deangelo: I’m not sure. Darling, how long has it been since the peace and quiet started around here?
Gwen: It feels like just a second ago. (She sighs.)
M: Yeah, great. I’ve got a story that needs MiSTing and I need the whole team.
Deangelo: Last Thursday. Yes, that’s when they left. Because Gwenavere and I went out on a lovely date on Friday. Didn’t we, Zita?
Gwen: Yes, we did. Oh it was so wonderful.
M: Charming. Okay, if they left last Thursday and it’s a weekend tournament that means that they should be back —
(A door slams.)
Dominick: We’re back!
M: — Any time now.
(The rest of the MiSTing crew file into the conference room. Everyone except Jarred looks upset.)
M: Welcome back.
Deangelo: How did the tournament go?
M: Don’t worry about losing, Jay. I mean, you were up against professional geeks.
Jarred: I didn’t lose. I won the entire competition!
M: (O_O!!) You won 10K Commotion?! How?!
Jarred: I stepped on all the little arrows in the right order.
Melanie: No wait, let’s get to the good part. Tell M what you did with the prize money.
Kalinda: Yeah, go on Jarred.
Jarred: Well, we had just picked up the prize and I saw a hungry little boy on the street. He hadn’t eaten for days so I gave all of the money to him so he could start a better life for himself.
M: Well, that was sweet of you, Jay.
Tempest: But let’s not stop there. That’s not even the best part.
Dominick: Yeah, the poor, unfortunate little boy turned out to be a teenage crack head who tried to use Jarred’s prize money to buy drugs and was busted by the Hawaiian police. I didn’t quite get all of the details from the news report, but basically, he shot two cops and now we’re not sure if the state is going to get the money or the junkie’s pregnant, drugged-out girlfriend.
M: Oh. Bummer.
Melanie: Yeah, big bummer. Especially seeing as none of us got a cut after we put in all that work.
Kalinda: Yeah, I mean, I went out and found Jarred special socks just so he could practice on the new dance mat and brought him coffee and donuts whenever he wanted them. Everything! And did I even see a cent of that money? Nope.
Jarred: Well, how was I supposed to know that he was a drug addict? Besides, I didn’t give him the money then tell him to go get high. I told him to try and get his life together and make a fresh start.
Dominick: You know, Jarred. Sometimes your naivety is really cute. Sometimes it’s downright adorable. But when we all bust our asses and work so hard and then see our reward seized by the cops, it really makes us grumpy.
Tempest: Yeah, I’m so upset I don’t even want to have sex with anyone.
Gwen: Really? No one?
Tempest: Nope. I don’t even want to make out.
Deangelo: Well, that can’t be healthy for anyone involved.
M: Well, it really sucks about the contest. But we’ve got a MiST to do.
Dominick: Come on, M! Have a heart!
Kalinda: Yeah, I usually don’t agree with Dominick’s whining. But we’ve just been through an exhausting weekend.
M: Well, maybe you guys should have talked to me about the contest before you ran off to Hawaii. I would have been perfectly happy to work your schedule around it, but since you didn’t, I didn’t get a chance to rework things. Now, we’ve got to get to the theatre. Come along, kids.
(M exists the conference room.)
Deangelo: (Standing.) Well, I feel rested and alert. Let’s begin this MiST. (He extends his hand to Gwen.) My lady.
Gwen: Why thank you, darling.
(Gwen and Deangelo leave the conference room, blissfully unaware that the other MiSTers, except for Jarred, are staring daggers at them.)
Dominick: You know, those two have been really loved up lately.
Jarred: I know! It’s so romantic!
Kalinda: Whatever. Come on, we’ve got to do a fucking MiST.
(The remaining MiSTers exist the conference room.)
(The MiSTers assemble in their regular seats when Jarred steps on something small and fuzzy. He bends down to pick it up and discovers that it’s Rosie’s catnip mouse.)
Jarred: Oh look, Rosie must have left this —
(Rosie flies through the air and pounces on Jarred. He screams like a little girl and throws the mouse into the aisle where Rosie follows. Once she has captured the mouse, she exits the theatre with it in her mouth, proudly purring as she goes.)
M: (From the control room.) Okay, is everyone ready?!
M: (From the control room.) Here we go!
>Odet. *Storyy* (FINISHED)
Deangelo: Uh, isn’t that name correctly spelled “Odette”?
Dominick: Come on, D. At least her name isn’t Binx.
>So long ago.
Dominick: In a galaxy far, far away.
>My mom came in my room and told me to get up.
Melanie: The house was on fire and we needed to leave immediately.
>It’s my first day of kindergarden! I’m so excited. So I got up and my mommy helped me get dressed.
Tempest: (Mommy.) Now do you want your black fishnets or your purple ones? If you wear the black then you can wear your red mini skirt with the little bows on it.
>”what do you want to wear today?” Mommy asked probably more excited than what I am about going to school.
Kalinda: (Mommy.) Finally! She’s out of the house for six blissful hours. I feel a nap coming on this afternoon!
>”little mermaid.” I said with hope that she would let me wear it. “Okay, sweetie.” She said with a soft tone.
Deangelo: Please tell me this story isn’t going to document this girl eating cereal and brushing her teeth as well.
M: (From the control room.) Wait for it…
>We just walked into the school, and it’s huge! I’ve never been inside a school before.
Melanie: Yeah, that wonderment is going to wear off pretty quickly.
>We have to walk down these huge hallways. I wonder which one is my classroom. But right then we turned into room #24.
Kalinda: Outside the door was written; “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”
>”Hello, who is this?” I guess my teacher said. “This is Odet.” My mommy said to the lady.
Gwen: (Mommy.) I chopped some extra letters off the end of her name so that she’ll have an easier time spelling it. Aren’t I a nice mummy?
>”Well, it’s nice to meet you Odet. I’m Mrs. Rogers. Why don’t you go have a seat by Aiden. Aiden, please raise your hand up.” I saw him, he had short black hair, big blue eyes,
Tempest: And snake bites!
Deangelo: (o_O) Really, Tempest?
Tempest: Duh, emos are born with snake bites.
Kalinda: And skinny jeans?
Tempest: Don’t be silly. They’re issued skinny jeans by the government.
>and he seemed very nice.
Dominick: And she can just tell this by looking at him? Wow, is she going to be bad with guys when she gets older.
M: (From the control room.) Wait for it…
>I went over and sat next to him. He was playing with dinosaurs. “Hey, I’m Aiden. Who are you?” He said with a very interested tone.
Deangelo: (Odet.) The spawn of Beelzebub. Nice to meet you!
>”I’m Odet. What are you playing with?” I asked. “Well, these are my dinosaur friends.”
Dominick: (Aiden.) I named the little one “Eddie”.
>”Can I play too?”I asked hopefully. “Let me ask them.
Kalinda: A great debate erupts between the dinosaurs, ending in several fatalities.
>They said yes, they would love to meet such a pretty girl.”
Tempest: Hey D, were you that smooth at such young age?
Deangelo: My darling Tempest, smoothness courses through my veins.
>I blushed. “So Odet, do you wanna be my bestfriend?”he asked with a slight blush. ” ofcourse dude.”
Melanie: Fifteen years and four kids later…
>I wish we could go back.
Dominick: (Singing.) Back to third grade!
>*10 years later.* “I dream about
Kalinda: (Odet.) Designer shoes that grow on trees. You just have to reach up and pluck a pair and they’re always your size.
>How its gonna end
>Approaching me quickly
Melanie: The colors were as close as the wind.
Jarred: Like the tear on a golden child.
>Leaving a life of fear
>I only want my mind to be clear
Gwen: Now let me cry a single tear.
Dominick: Such a shame I look like a steer.
>People making fun of me
>For no reason but jealousy
>I fantasize about my death
>I kill myself
>From holding my breath.”
Jarred: Well, that’s not healthy at all.
>As I layed here listening to my favorite song ” Suicidal Dream by Silverchair”, I couldn’t help but think about Aiden.
MiSTers: Ooooh, it was a song.
Deangelo: I don’t know what is worse, ripping off song lyrics for your story or attempting to write your own emo poetry.
>We we’re bestfriends up until I was 13.
Gwen: That was when Aiden started noticing girls and didn’t feel any attraction to someone who he had seen growing up for all those years.
>I’m 15 now, and we haven’t talked ever since I was 13 when he started dating Jessica, and didn’t talk to me anymore.
>I always loved him, but I guess he never felt the same way.
Kalinda: Yes, the deep, passionate love that only a 15 year old can feel.
>”Odet get your ass down here now!” ugh, my mom screamed at me. I walked down the stairs knowing what was going to happen.
Jarred: She was going to get a stern talking to about leaving her dirty converse sneakers by the front door.
>”Yes, mom.” I said just waiting. She started to come towards me, before I knew it I was on the ground. My head hurt, it wouldn’t stop throbbing.
>I reached up and felt my head. “GOSH, I’M BLEEDING!” I yelled pissed.
Melanie: Dude, what happened to the nice mom who was dressing her child in Little Mermaid outfits?
>” Shut the fuck up and go to your room. I’m leaving. I’ll be back later and you better be here. Or I will tear your ass apart when I get home.”she yelled at me.
Deangelo: That was descriptive.
>Then she walked out of the house, slamming the door behind her. I felt my head again,
>I was bleeding a lot.
Deangelo: (Odet.) Maybe I should go to the hospital. Oh wait, I’m too emo to do that.
>I went to the bathroom, got a rag wet and layed it on my head until It finally stopped bleeding.
Tempest: Nice to know she’s utterly unconcerned with the serious head trauma that might ensue.
Deangelo: If she did suffer serious head trauma, would anyone really notice?
>I have to leave, I can’t take this anymore. She’s going to kill me, I thought to myself.
Jarred: Uh, so who was listening to a song about suicide at the beginning of the story?
>I ran to my room got a bag and started throwing as much of my stuff in it as I could.
Melanie: Converse sneakers, hair straighteners, eye liner, emo music, hair spray, gel, avocado mask, peppermint scented lotion… Hmmm, there’s not a lot of room in here for clothes.
>”I have to leave.” I told myself. ” This is the last time she will ever hit me.” I said as I jumped out my window and ran into the woods.
Dominick: Run free, little emo! Run free!
>My secret place.
Kalinda: Second star to the right and straight on until morning.
>I’m running through the woods to go find my tree house. I use to go there with Aiden every day after school. Actually, the last day we spent together was here.
Tempest: I feel a very unsexy flashback coming on.
> *flash back*
>”Odet, what would you do if I was dating some one?”
Melanie: (Odet.) Turn into a helpless emo.
>”Nothing, I’d be very happy fo you.” I said with tears coming to my eyes.
Melanie: (Odet.) So happy I could puke.
>”What if I was dating some one you didn’t like?”
Melanie: (Odet.) I’d do everything in my power to passive-aggressively break you two up.
>”Umm, I don’t know. It depends on how much I didn’t like this person.” Tears almost flowing from my eyes.
Deangelo: You do realize that there’s only one reason that a guy would go out with a girl his friends aren’t friends with, right?
Dominick: Hot, easy tail.
Jarred: Maybe he likes her as a person and just wants them all to be friends.
Dominick: No Jarred, not this time. The correct answer is: hot, easy tail.
>”Well, I’ve got a surprise.” He said.
>”What Is it.? I said sobbing.
Dominick: (Aiden.) I’m getting laid!
>”I’m going out with Jessica.”
>”What the fuck? You know I hate her! She is a fucking bitch, and you know that!
Deangelo: Jarred, why is he dating her again?
Jarred: (Sighs.) Hot, easy tail.
Dominick: (Pats him on the head.) Good, Jarred. We have taught you well.
>Remember when we we’re little and I came to school crying, and I ran up to you and gave yu a hug cause’ my dad died? And Jessica came up and pulled my hair and called me a crybaby cause’ I cried over dead people, then she made fun of my dad for dying? How could you date some one who hurt me?”
Gwen: To be fair, it sounds like that was a fairly long time ago. Maybe she’s changed since then.
Jarred: Now who’s being naïve?
>”Odet, I’m sorry. I have to go.” He said.
Kalinda: (Aiden.) I have to return a call to the local VD clinic. I’m not sure why they called me, but they said it was urgent.
>” Whatever Aiden! You can have your slutty girlfriend, but don’t think about being my friend ever again! I HATE YOU!” I said crying. He walked down the ladder and left.
Jarred: Aww, that’s so sad. What a tragic end to such a great friendship.
> *back to the present*
>Gosh I was so stupid. I’m crying over him. How stupid am I.
Tempest: Yeah because totally hanging out with someone that insults your dead dad would have been the smart thing to do.
>I’m finally here. I threw my bag up the stairs and I climbed them. It was just like I left it. The chairs, pictures, everything was there.
Dominick: Nice to see that they live in such a safe neighborhood that no one touched the contents of their tree house in two years.
>I walked slowly to go look at everything. Then I saw that stupid picture. Aiden and me when we we’re in kindergarden, holding hands.
Deangelo: Both were strangely unconcerned about cooties.
>I picked up the picture and threw it at the wall. ” I HATE YOU!” I yelled.
Kalinda: Don’t take it out on the picture!
>I laid down on the floor and put one of the blankets I left here over me. I couldn’t stop crying now. I just layed there till I fell asleep still crying.
Jarred: She was crying in her sleep? Is that even possible?
Tempest: That’s just proof of her hardcore emo-ness.
>*”Aiden, where are you?” I said scared. I’m in a field and it’s night time.
Melanie: Don’t you think she would have moved on from this guy after two years? I mean that’s like two decades to kids.
>It’s really scary.
Kalinda: Yes, the setting is quite scary. I’m enthralled by the vivid descriptions and striking imagery.
>”Odet, Odet, come here. I need to tell you a secret.” Aiden said.
Dominick: (Aiden.) I was born a girl!
>”Aiden, I’m scared! Please come here! I need you!” I said crying. Then I looked up and there was Aiden with Jessica.
Tempest: They were making out like their tongues were on fire!
Kalinda: (o_0) Ew.
Gwen: That sounds most uncomfortable.
>” Odet, remember Jessica? We’re going out. And guess what we LOVE eachother. But you have no one to love you.” “Not even me.” He said laughing.
Melanie: He turn turned into the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
> * Dreams overr*
Deangelo: Yes, I do believe that my dreams are over for today. I just wanted to cuddle with my wife and enjoy a nice quiet day on the satellite. But that is clearly not going to happen.
>”AHHHHHHHHHH!” I woke up crying.
>That was the stupidest dream I have ever had!
Jarred: (Odet.) Except the one where I was the body guard for the Queen of England and I had to keep taking Nerf balls to the head for her.
>Odet, you have to pull yourself together. If he was your besfriend he would have stayed with you forever.
Melanie: Exactly. Want to know who your real friends are? Fuck up. Then see who’s still around.
Kalinda: Or in your case, terrorize LA with vicious gang violence and gratuitous theft.
Melanie: Same concept.
>I looked around the room to find my bag. Once I found it, I took out my hairbrush, a change of clothes, and my phone.
Dominick: I find it hard to believe that in her rush she remembered to pack all of those things. I mean, I always have plenty of time to pack for vacation and I always forget something.
Melanie: Like clean underwear. And deodorant. And a toothbrush. And —
Dominick: Okay, they get the point, Melanie.
>I put on my black skinnies, my long sleeve black shirt, and my shoes.
Deangelo: Thank goodness she described what she was wearing. I now feel fully immersed in the plot.
>Then I brushed my hair, knowing it’s gonna look like shit no matter what I do to it. >Then I heard a grumble.
Jarred: Earthquake! (He dives under his chair for cover.)
>” Dammit, I’m hungry!” I yelled.
Kalinda: Uh, Jay. It’s safe.
Jarred: (Poking his head up.) Oh. Okay. (^_^)
>I walked down the ladder and started to walk back to my house. But I wasn’t going to go there.
Melanie: Yeah, it’s kind of hard to run away if you go back to your house.
>I’m going to go back to the city, and see what I can buy with 15 dollars.
Tempest: A happy ending without whip cream or a five-fingered starfish with your pants still on.
>I decided I would go to my favorite place when I was a kid. McDonalds. That’s cheap and it would fill me up. I walked in there, and guess who I just had to see there.
Gwen: Place your bets ladies and gentlemen. Who does she see?
Gwen: Hmmm, not much of a cliff hanger then.
>We meet againn.
Dominick: … Mr. Bond.
>I was just trying to get something to eat but he just had to be here! His beautiful face, hair, everything.
Deangelo: Does he usually venture out of the house without his face and hair?
>I walked up to the counter. “Hi, how may I help you today.?”
Gwen: Come to think of it, wouldn’t Odet’s mother have reported her missing by now?
Melanie: She doesn’t really seem to have her parenting act together, so I’m going to say no.
>”Umm, I’d like a double cheese burger meal, plain, with mayo only, please.” “Okay, that will be 10 dollars.”
Dominick: 10 bucks for a cheeseburger? What kind of communist country is that girl living in!?
>I handed her the money and got the change back. “Here you go.” She handed me the tray of food. “thanks.” I tried to avoid the table Aiden was sitting at.
Tempest: (Odet.) But I was drawn to him like cheese to a juicy quarter pounder.
>I went on the other side of the store and sat in a booth. I ate my food slowly. So, maybe I won’t be hungry later.
Kalinda: Isn’t that some kind of model trick to lose weight?
Melanie: Probably. For being obsessed with clothes those models can get very creative.
Gwen: There’s nothing glamorous about abusing laxative tablets.
>When I got up to dump my tray I heard laughing behind me. “Hey Aiden, isn’t that the girl you use to hang out with?” some boy asked.
Gwen: Oh so she does know how to use the word “asked” properly in a sentence. I was beginning to wonder.
>I turned around and he was right there. Right in front of me. “Well, Odet. We meet again, after all these years.” Aiden said.
Dominick: (Bond villian.) Now is when I kill you. Mawahahaha! But first, let me tell you about my evil plan in great detail, coincidentally giving you enough time for you to get away.
>I could feel the tears swelling up in my eyes. No, I’m not goint to cry in front of him. “y- yeah.” I said stuttering.
Tempest: Brilliant response!
>”How have you been, have you cut yourself anymore?” He asked and then started to laugh.
Dominick: So if they haven’t had contact since they were 13, then Aiden knew about her cutting herself before they stopped being friends. So Aiden claimed to have been her friend and was fully aware of her cutting herself yet it doesn’t appear that he did anything to get her help. So how exactly was he a good friend?
>No, don’t cry. Crap, the tears fell out. They we’re like a water fall. Shit, I’m so dumb. I ran out the door.
Kalinda: Run free, little emo! Run free!
>But some one was chasing me. “Odet, Odet, I’m sorry.” Aiden yelled at me. I stopped. I turned around.
Melanie: Keep walking, Odet. Just keep walking.
>”Your sorry? For everything? You know what I’ve been through, and yet you talk shit about me! I haven’t talked to you in 3 years Aiden!
Gwen: Not to nitpick or anything, but it’s technically been 2 years.
>You don’t know me anymore! So don’t ask me anything. I don’t kow how I loved you before! Your just a fucking asshole!” I yelled at him. Crying my eyes out now.
Melanie: Yeah, get used to saying that, honey.
>”You loved me?” he asked.
Gwen: In that entire rant, that’s the one thing that he feels the need to repeat?
>” Yeah, I use to. But not anymore.” I said then started to go back to the woods. I looked back to see him still standing there. Looking at me.
>I’m going crazy.
Kalinda: Yeah, I think we’re a little past that point.
>I finally got back to the tree house. I was still crying my eyes out. I couldn’t stop thinking about Aiden. I love him but I hate him! What was I suppose to do?
Deangelo: Might I suggest writing emo poetry?
>”AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed and started throwing things everywhere.
Jarred: (0_0!!) Eep! That’s not very productive at all.
>”WHY DOES HE DO THIS TO ME? I LOVED HIM! WE WE’RE BESTFRIENDS! WE WE’RE SUPPOSE TO BE BESTFRIENDS FOREVER! HE PROMISED! SHIT!”
Gwen: Er, “best friends” is actually two words, not one.
>I yelled crying. I picked up my bag and grabbed out my razor blade.
Melanie: Here we go. Emo alert.
>I needed to numb this pain. I started cutting through this layers of my skin. The blood started flowin out. It felt so good, just to let it out.
Kalinda: You know, I find it kinda strange that emos complain that people stereotype them as cutters, yet all of their main characters are.
>After I stopped cutting I cleaned up.
Deangelo: With sterilized bandages and disinfectant, I’m sure.
>”I’m losing myself.” I said to myself. I layed down. Knowing it’s only like 2 P.M., but I really didn’t care. I closed my eyes, and fell asleep.
Melanie: Dude, this is getting really depressing.
Kalinda: No kidding.
Tempest: Not half as sorry as I am. I thought losing that sweet purse was depressing me, but now I find the idea of anyone touching me totally repulsive. (Sigh.) No fun for Tempest tonight.
>”Odet, please wake up!” some one screamed at me.
Jarred: Wow, that’s a nice way to be woken up.
>I opened my eyes only to see Aiden.
MiSTers: Hi there!
>”What the fuck do you want?” I yelled at him.
Jarred: (Aiden.) A hug?
>I stood up and walked to the back side of the tree house.
M: (From the control room.) I now want you all to witness one of the most ridiculous rambling monologue in the history of fiction.
>”Odet, I’m so sorry about everything. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just thought that you didn’t like me more than a friend, so I tried to make you jealous by going out with Jessica. But you said you hated me, so I just left. I know you hate me. But words can’t describe how much I have missed you and needed you. Why haven’t you talked to me, and why did you avoid me during school. I know I was a jerk for making fun of you and starting all that shit, but it was just because you didn’t love me, or I thought you didn’t. Shit, Odet I’m so sorry. I’m stupid and a horrible friend. I should have never went out with her to make you jealous. Odet, I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything to get your friendship back.” he said.
Deangelo: Wow, that was a long one.
M: (From the control room.) I warned you.
>I didn’t know what to say or what to do. I mean, what was I suppose to do.
Gwen: End that sentence with a question mark, for starters.
>He left me. ” Aiden, I don’t know what to say to you. When my dad died that tore me apart.
Jarred: As it should.
>When I came up to you crying, and I told you what happened you made me a promise. You said that you would never leave me or hurt me. You broke that promise.
Melanie: Note to all our readers out there, anytime a guy says “never”, “always”, or “forever” in a sentence, it’s safe to assume that he’s lying.
Jarred: That’s really pessimistic, Mel. There are good guys out there.
Tempest: I don’t know, I mean, she IS going out with Dominick. That would put a damper on my outlook on men.
>Aiden, you FUCKING broke that promise. You went out with that bitch! When my dad died it hurt my mom so much, she started doing drugs!
Dominick: Ahhh, so that’s why we’re not getting any more Little Mermaid dressing sessions.
>She was a lawer but she quit her job and became a stripper!
(Everyone turns and looks at Gwen.)
>She takes everything out on me! That’s the only reason I’m here right now! She fucking hits me and you weren’t here to tell me everything was going to be okay,
Deangelo: Surely, calling the police would have been more helpful than kind words.
>or to just help me. You left me and I don’t know if I could ever be your friend again.” I told him crying.
Jarred: But you should always be willing to try!
>” Odet, I’m so sorry. Theres nothing else I can say. But I can make another promise. I promise that I will NEVER hurt you and I will stay with you forever.
Melanie: Red flag! Red flag!
>Dammit, Odet, I’m so deeply in love with you. It drives me insane when I’m trying to just forget about you, cause’ I know you won’t ever forgive me.
Gwen: What do we think, ladies and gents? Will she ever forgive him?
Dominick: Yes, but she ends up with someone else.
Deangelo: Oh, who the hell cares?
Tempest: I agree with the Smooth One.
>But everything I do reminds me of you! Every other girl is just another girl in the crowd. But when I saw you at the store, I lit up.
Kalinda: (Aiden.) Then cruelly mocked you. You can see the depth of my love right there.
>I knew that you we’re the one I loved and I was going to spend the rest of my life with.
Dominick: Ah, young love. I remember the girl that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with when I was 15.
Melanie: Really? Who?
Dominick: Miss October 1989. I’m sure she had a real name. But hell, she didn’t need one.
>Will you please forgive me? If you don’t, I won’t have any other reason to live.”
Melanie: Strange, he’s been getting by the last two years just fine.
>he said coming up to me and wrapping his arms around me. “Odet, I love you.” he whispered in my ear.
Kalinda: Don’t believe him, Odet!
Jarred: Uh, how did we get from self-mutilation and broken friendships to partying?
>”Odet, wake up. It’s morning.” Aiden whispered in my ear. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep last night. I was just so tired.” I said quietly.
Kalinda: Uh, how did we get from 2 in the afternoon to the next day?
>” Okay. Well we need to get some things straight okay? First of all, why is there a bandage on your wrist?” he asked kinda shyly.
Gwen: (Odet.) I was doing my taxes! Uh yeah, I was doing my taxes and I got a nasty paper cut.
>”Umm, well. I don’t want to talk about it. I shouldn’t have to open up to you right away.
Kalinda: (Odet.) I’m working on a strict, information divulging schedule.
>Okay? I think we should just go do something. Like we use to do in the old days. Kay?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
Deangelo: Huh, what did I do for fun when I was 13?
Gwen: Chased after compsognathuses?
Deangelo: Touché, my love.
>”Okay, Odet I understand. Let’s go. We could go to the park, we use to do that a lot!”he said.
Kalinda: With hilarious consequences.
>”Yeah, the park seems fun.” I said, kinda sad for no reason.
We walked to the park and sat on the swings.
Melanie: (Odet.) Whee… I’m having so much fun…
>”Aiden, I’m sor-” someone cut me off.
Dominick: With a large knife.
>”Aiden, what are you doing here with the cutting bitch?” some guy said. I’m guessing one of his friends.
Tempest: You know, I had some pretty harsh nicknames in school, but at least no one ever called me that.
Melanie: Uh, Tempest? You’re from Chess. You never went to school.
Tempest: Oh yeah… Huh. Well, I’m sure that if I went to school people would have called me some really harsh names.
>”Don’t talk to my …… umm. Don’t talk to Odet that way! We’re cool now!” he yelled at his friend.
Deangelo: (Aiden.) Yeah, we had a big soul searching moment and everything!
>”Ighttt then. You didn’t have to yell. Gosh, you go with her for one night and now your fucking off with her. Oh oh, I get it! You fucked her, and now your trying to let her off easily! I got you man. You tapped that ass.” he assumed.
Gwen: Teenage boys have such a delicate way about them. It’s truly inspiring.
>”What the fuck?” I said, then got up and left.
>”Odet wait. He was just playing around. You know? He’s a teenage boy, like me. That’s just how he talks. I’m sorry. I’ll go talk to him.” he talked to me.
Deangelo: I’m not an expert, but I do believe that the phrase “tapped that ass” is pretty straight forward.
>”Yeah, whatever.” I said. What else could I say. He did stick up for me. And this is the first time we have hung out. I’ll just let it go.
Kalinda: Ooo, bad move. First you’re letting that go, then you’re letting other things go before you know it you’re totally cool with him trying on your underwear and singing Spice Girls karaoke.
>We still have tons to learn about eachother. I just hope we haven’t changed too much.
MiSTers: You have!
>He walked over to the guy and talked to him for about 10 minutes. Then he walked back to me. “Odet, that was John. He’s stupid. Don’t listen to anything he says.”
Dominick: (Aiden.) Especially when he says stuff about me cheating on you and banging slutty chicks in my car, cause uh, that’s not true or anything.
>”Yeah. How about we just go to your house and talk?” I asked trying to change the subject.
Kalinda: (Odet.) Then your parents can be accused of harboring a runaway.
>”Sure, we need to talk.” he said pulling my hand and taking me to his house. We got to his house, and walked in.
Melanie: You know, if you’re going to fast forward like that you could just write in a page break.
Tempest: Yeah! I’m getting bored with nothing to spot.
>” Go have a seat on the couch. I’ll be there in a minute.” he told me.
Tempest: He came back with a bottle of whip cream and some cherries.
>So I walked into the living room and had a seat on the couch. Ugh, what was I going to do. I loved him so much, but he’s acting so weird now.
Gwen: How can you tell?
>I guess things will never be the same.
>Just then he walked in and sat right next to me.
Dominick: (Aiden.) Sooo… we can make out or play Xbox. What do you prefer?
>”So, Odet, I want to ask you something very important.” he told me.
Tempest: (Aiden.) Can I try on your panties?
>”Umm, okay. Hit me with your best shot.” I said smiling. But I was very confused.
Gwen: About what exactly?
>”I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend?” he asked me. I didn’t know what to say. We haven’t talked in about 3 years. I don’t know what to say.
Deangelo: Yes, we’re aware of that.
>But the only way to become good friends and be close again, could happen by becoming girlfriend and boyfriend.
Kalinda: Or it could go horribly, horribly wrong. You just never know.
>”Umm, sure.” I said with tears coming to my eyes.
>”Are you okay?” he asked me. “Yeah. I said
Melanie: (Odet.) I’m so happy I could puke.
>”Odet, it’s okay. I just love you, and I was wondering if you would like to go to a party tonight.” he asked then looked away from me.
Jarred: Uh oh, I’m getting a feeling of for boating.
>” Sure, I guess. Who’s party?” I asked.
Kalinda: I’m not getting a feeling of for boating.
>” Just a couple of my friends are throwing a party, and I thought it would be a good way for us to spend time together.” he said looking directly in my eyes, then he had this devious little smirk.
Melanie: Oh no, I hope pig’s blood isn’t involved.
Kalinda: Okay, now I’m getting a feeling of for boating.
>So we got cleaned up and watched a movie. We left for the party around 6:30 P.M. I’m kinda worried about what’s going to happen.
Deangelo: Anyone want to place bets?
Gwen: Not really.
Jarred: I say something bad is going to happen.
Deangelo: Care to be a little more specific?
Jarred: No, just something bad.
Dominick: Great chapter title there.
>We finally arived to the party, and it’s packed! I hate being around so many people. Dammit! “Come on Odet!” Aiden yelled at me.
Kalinda: (Aiden.) Let’s go party with all of the friends that you don’t have!
>”I’m coming.” I yelled back. I opened the car door and slammed it shut. I walked up to the house and walked in. I saw almost every kid from my school there.
Kalinda: Uh, either it’s a really small school or a really big house.
>”dammit.” I muttered under my breath. I want to leave this place. I don’t feel like getting into another fight with these people.
Melanie: Then why did you go in the first place?
>So I went right back out the door and sat on a stump by a tree. “Hello.” some one said to me. “Umm, where are you?” I said.
Gwen: But when you think about it, do we ever truly know “where” we are in life?
Jarred: Uh, I don’t think the author was being that philosophical.
>”Oh sorry, I’m Levi. It’s nice to meet you. May I know such a beautiful girls name?” he said to me. What the fuck should I say? I don’t know him!
Melanie: Tell him a fake name!
>”My name is Odet.” I said in a whisper.
Melanie: Nice going, genius. Now he’ll probably turn into a serial killer and end her pathetic life before it even begins.
Deangelo: Not all men are serial killers you know, Melanie.
Melanie: But enough are.
>”That is the most unique name I have ever heard off. So tell me Odet, who are you here with?” he asked.
Tempest: (Levi.) And can I get some?
>”Well, I’m here with my boyfriend Aiden. But I have no clue where he is.” I said to him.
Melanie: (Odet.) He must have gotten off the leash.
>”Let’s go look for him. I don’t think it’s safe here for you. Last time a pretty girl like you came around, everyone went crazy.” he said to me.
Deangelo: Yes, we’ve already seen how beautiful and desirable her classmates find her.
>”Yeah, I guess we should.” I said and started to walk back inside.
>”I’ll look downstairs and you look upstairs.” Josh said to me.
Kalinda: Wait just one cotton picking minute, who the hell is Josh?
Tempest: Hot guys randomly appearing? Now this is my kind of story!
Kalinda: (>_<) They’re all teenagers, Tempest! Tempest: I know, but they’re still hot. Besides, you think Taylor Lautner is hot and he’s still underage. Kalinda: Oh shut up. Tempest: Don’t hate me because I’m right. >”Okay, sounds like a deal.” I said laughing. He was pretty cool. He is absolutley gorgeous too! I went up the stairs and opened up the first door on the left.
Dominick: Only to discover a political rally of a fringe group who want to legalize driving over state lines with a chicken on your head.
Melanie: Uh, that’s illegal?
Dominick: In certain states, yes.
>”WHAT THE FUCK! AIDEN, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I TRUSTED YOU! YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!
Kalinda: Uh, what just happened?
>I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOUR FUCKING SOME CHICK BEHING MY BACK!”
>I yelled at Aiden, crying. I ran down the stairs and out the door.
Jarred: Well, to be fair, he wasn’t really doing it behind her back.
>Then I saw Josh.
MiSTers: Who the hell is Josh?!
>”Odet, what happened? Why are you crying?” he said holding my arm.
Jarred: Is Josh supposed to be Levi?
Deangelo: The author might have changed the character’s name and forgot to replace it wherever it appeared.
Melanie: Control + H, honey. Control + H.
>”Nothing, just leave me alone.” I yelled at him. Then he squeezed my wrist.
>”FUCK!” I yelled. Then grabbed my arm. Dammit, he just had to squeeze this arm!
Melanie: Dammit! Dammit!
>”Odet, what did you do to yourself?” he asked taking off my bandage and looking at my arm.
Dominick: (Odet.) I got an at home tattoo kit and started testing it out. It’s not going so well though.
>”FUCK YOU!” I yelled then took off.
Jarred: Um, that’s not the best way to win friends and influence people.
>I ran all the way to my tree house. My beautiful tree house. I took out my razor blade and cut deep into my skin. I wasn’t going to kill myself, not yet anyways.
Deangelo: You know…
Deangelo: If she kills herself the story will be over.
Melanie: Way ahead of you, D.
Jarred: (0_0) Mel, don’t be so mean!
Kalinda: Seriously, Jarred. Are you enjoying this?
Jarred: Well, no. But that doesn’t mean we should wish her ill. It’s not polite.
>I have no money, I have nothing. I’m gonna have to go home.
Tempest: Streetwalking is still an option.
>I got up and walked down the ladder of the tree house. I walked through the woods and saw my old house. I walked to my front door and opened it.
Gwen: (Odet.) I went to a doctor and got some help for my serious psychological issues. I went to the police and reported my mum for domestic violence. I went with child services and got placed in a different house.
Deangelo: If only.
>” Mom.” I said. ” Oh my gosh, Odet. I’m so sorry, I’m a horrible mother. Please don’t ever leave me again. I’ll never hurt you.”
Deangelo: So are we to understand that this girl’s mother is now truly repentant even though it appears that she made no effort to find her daughter or alert emergency services?
Jarred: Uh, I think we are.
Deangelo: Right then. Just checking.
>she said crying and coming up and hugging me. ” Mom, I’m so sorry. I had to leave. You haven’t been drinking have you? That’s why your not hitting me. Mom? Mom!”
Melanie: Hey M, does this get any less depressing?
M: (From the control room.) What do you think?
Jarred: I think that Odet meets the emo boy of her dreams soon and they live together very happily forever and ever!
Melanie: Uh, I’m going for no.
M: (From the control room.) Good choice.
>I felt something wet on my hand.
MiSTers: (O_O!!!) Uhhhh!
>” OH MY GOD! MOM, ARE YOU OKAY?” I looked down and saw she had been shot in her stomach.
Dominick: Okay, even I didn’t see that coming.
>I layed her on the ground and looked for the phone. I got it out and dialed 911. “Hello, is this an emergency?”
Melanie: Uh, technically that’s not what 911 operators say.
Jarred: Yeah, the fact that you’re dialing 911 kind of implies that there’s an emergency.
>”YES, MY MOM HAS BEEN SHOT, I NEED HELP RIGHT NOW,” I told her my address and she said they would be sending help on the way.
Tempest: You can tell that she’s utterly serious because she’s speaking in all caps.
>I’ve been sitting at the hospital for 3 days.
Jarred: Without bathroom breaks.
>I missed my first day of school. I could really care less. My mom’s in a coma. The doctor said she’s probably not going to make it. That’s okay though.
Gwen: (o_0?) It is? I know this girl’s mum wasn’t going to win any parenting awards but wishing her to stay in her coma is a bit harsh.
>She’ll be away from all her pain and suffering. I remember the day all things went bad.
Tempest: Flashback! Flashback! Tee-hee, I improvised.
Gwen: (Rubbing her temples.) Brilliant.
>”Odet, ou need to go to the office. They just called you down.” my teacher said to me. I got up and pushed in my chair.
Kalinda: (Teacher.) They know about your plan to set all of the frogs in the science hall free.
>And then I walked out the door, through the hallway, and into the front office. I saw my mother there crying. “Mom, what’s wrong? What happened?” I asked her.
Melanie: (Mom.) I ran out of dryer sheets!
>”Odet, your father. He was driving home when he saw a little girl getting hit by a man. He stopped and got the girl. But the man stabbed him multiple times, and he died.
Deangelo: How tragically heroic.
>The little gorl got away though.” My mom said to me crying her eyes out.
Jarred: So there’s an upside to this story after all.
Tempest: Don’t you ever get tired of being so relentlessly optimistic?
Jarred: There’s nothing tiring about looking at the bright side of things! (^_^)
>I ran out of the main office, back through the hallways, back through my classroom door and ran to Aiden.
Kalinda: Uh, why does Odet go running to him when her mom was right there?
>” Odet, what’s wrong?” Aiden said to me as I was in his arms crying.
>” My dad, he’s dead.” I said to him, barely breathing.
Dominick: (Odet.) And I need your help picking out what I’m going to wear to the funeral!
>”Oh my gosh, Odet.” Aiden said to me.
>Right then Jessica came up to us and said ” Oh poor baby, crying over your stupid dead father. I wish you would have died with him.” She laughed.
Melanie: This is just so… wow… over the top. I have an easier time believing Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist.
>I let go of Aiden and got my stuff and left.
Tempest: (Odet.) With a flip of my hair!
Tempest: Flashback! Flashback!
>That’s when my mom started drinking and hitting me. Such a horrible time. He shouldn’t have died. It’s stupid.
Dominick: Yeah, so is life.
>”Odet.” The doctor said to me.
>”Yes, sir.” I said quietly.
Deangelo: (Doctor.) I’m going to call social services and get you placed in a foster home far, far away from all of this drama.
>”I’m sorry to tell you, but your mother didn’t make it through.
>” Okay, thank you for trying to help her.” I said and got up and left.
Jarred: Awww, that’s so sad. She’s an orphan now.
Melanie: My heart. It bleeds.
Gwen: So where are the authorities at this point? Are they really going to just let a 15-year-old girl with no parents out into the world?
Dominick: Why not?
>I came to the park. The park. The park. I kept thinking in my head.
Kalinda: Strange, that’s where I do most of my thinking too.
>Why aren’t I crying? My mom loved me with everything in her soul. She just had problems like any other human. Why would she kill hersef? The tears started flowing.
Deangelo: Wait, wait, wait, so this was a suicide?
Gwen: Finally, the plot catches up with the rest of the story.
> * Three days earlier.*
>”Odet, have you been hurt?” the police man asked me.
Kalinda: Uh, why is he asking her if she’s hurt when her mom has a bullet in her stomach?
>” No sir, just my mother. Who did this to her?” I asked.
Melanie: There’s the ten million dollar question.
>” She did. Her suicide note was on the counter. I think she wanted you to have it.
Deangelo: Seriously. Do you think she would have wanted her manicurist to have it?
>Their going to take you to the hospital with your mom. I hope everything goes alright young one. Be careful.” He said then walked away.
Dominick: Yeah, have a nice life and all that.
>The Note: Dear Odet,
>I love you with my whole heart. I’ve been a terrible mother and don’t deserve to live.
Kalinda: No argument here.
>But I want to tell you two things.
Melanie: 1. Watch out for snakes!
Jarred: 2. Always snuggle with the one you love.
>1. Have no fear in life. That was your daddy’s quote. “No fear.”
Deangelo: No, it isn’t. That’s a clothing brand slogan.
Dominick: Wow, that’s depressing. Your dad’s words of wisdom are mass produced on t-shirts.
>2. Me and your daddy will be watching over you in Heaven forever and ever.
Tempest: Yeah, that’s comforting.
>I love you.
> your mom.
Melanie: You can just put that in a frame.
>”Odet are you okay? I looked up. It was Aiden. What the fuck was he doing here?
Kalinda: Good question.
>”WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN? DOES IT MATTER IF I’M OKAY? YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.” I yelled then left in the ambulance.
Deangelo: You know, I find it rather disturbing that this teenage author finds it necessary to use the word “fuck” so much.
Dominick: Yeah, she should mix it up and use “shit” or “damn” or “ass” more often.
> * present*
Tempest: Flashback! Flashback!
>She killed herself. I should have stayed. I never should have left. I’m a stupid, selfish, little bitch. I should be the one dead. Not her.
Dominick: This girl is going to make some therapist very, very wealthy.
>”Oh look the little emo bitch is crying. What’s wrong Odet, you sad cause’ you couldn’t kill yourself?” Jessica laughed.
M: (From the control room.) Remember everyone, on average 1 in 25 people are sociopaths, in an emo love story, 1 in 3 people are sociopaths.
Gwen: Oh yes, while you were gone M wrote a guide to emo love stories.
Tempest: Really? Wow, and I thought Kalinda had too much time on her hands.
>I got up and tackled her to the ground. I punched her in the face, I most likely broke her nose. Then punched her, reapetedly, in the jaw.
Kalinda: Oh great, so now she’s going to be charged with assault. Just what she needs after her mom dies.
Melanie: Do you really think that Jessica would rat her out?
Kalinda: Why not?
>”Odet, get off of her! Stop!” somebody yelled at me. I looked up and it was the boy from the party. What was he doing here? I stood up and kicked Jessica a couple more times,
Dominick: For good measure.
>then started walking away.
Gwen: Just then a siren started blaring and she saw red and blue flashing lights in the distance.
>”Odet, please wait. I heard what happened. I’m so sorry. What are you going to do? Do you have anywhere to go? ODET, TALK TO ME.” he yelled then grabbed my wrist again.
Deangelo: (Levi.) So, do you want to go to prom or something?
>I turned arouind, now crying my eyes out, and looked at him.
M: (From the control room.) Are you guys ready for another rambling monologue?
Jarred: Uh, no.
M: (From the control room.) Too bad.
>” So you heard. Now you can be like the others and call me an emo bitch and make fun of me. Why do you care about me? Why do you give a fuck where I’m staying at? Does it look like it to you that I know where he fuck I’m going to go? Who know’s maybe I’ll be a homelss emo bitch, or maybe I’ll take everyones advice and go kill myself. You know what, I’m gonna go with lucky number two, and kill my fucking self. So leave me the fuck alone. Unless you wanna watch and tell everyone what you saw. Okay? Thanks. By-”
Deangelo: (O_o) Did she run out of breath?
>He cut me off. He came up to me and pressed his lips against mine.
Dominick: Uh, then Odet bashed his head in with her emo angst, killing him instantly.
>He put his hands on my face. And kissed me with all his might. I kissed back. After a little while he dropped his hands and just looked at me.
Tempest: (Levi.) Hey Odet, I have some mints in my pocket. You know, in case you want one or something.
>”Why did you do that?” I asked, shy.
Dominick: Because it’s the only true way to shut a girl up?
Melanie: You what the only true way to shut a guy up is?
Deangelo: I’m not entirely sure, but I’m willing to bet that it involves your foot and his testicles.
>”You wouldn’t shut up about that killing yourself nonsence. And I really like you, a lot.
Jarred: (Levi.) The thirty seconds that we’ve spent together have convinced me of our scared love.
>Will you please just come over to my house, just for tonight if you want. Just please come.” he asked me.
Tempest: (Odet.) Sure I’ll come, then I’ll come all night long. Woot!
Kalinda: Uh, Tempest? Have you forgotten what story this is?
Tempest: Let me enjoy myself, Kalinda. This story is just getting more and more depressing. I don’t think there’s any chance of booty now.
>”Okay, but just for tonight.” I said.
>We walked until we got to his house. Hold on I know this house, this is Aidens house.
Gwen: I knew it, it was all an elaborate plot against her!
>What the fuck?
Gwen: Yes, indeed.
Jarred: Wait, what?
Melanie: Who are step-brothers?
>”Levi, why are we at Aindens house?” I asked, kinda yelling at him.
Dominick: (Levi.) We’re not at “Aindens” house, silly emo. We’re at “Aiden’s” house. I can see how you could get the two confused.
>’What the fuck? He never told you! We’ve been step brothers since you two stopped hanging out.
Gwen: I find it unlikely that these people all live in the same town, which seems to be quite small, and she never heard about this or figured it out on her own.
Jarred: But if she knew then it wouldn’t make for much dramatic effect, now would it?
Tempest: So Jarred, now that you know, do you feel all dramatic and effected?
Jarred: Well, no. Not in the slightest. But I’m also not a 13-year-old girl that can’t spell “great” so I’m clearly not the target audience.
>I swear that boy has mental problems.
Kalinda: That might be the understatement of the story.
>I’m sorry if you don’t want to see him, but you said you we’re staying here, so you are. And plus our mom loves you.” he said so fast I almost couldn’t keep up.
Deangelo: Ah yes, breaking bread with your mortal enemy. Clearly this is what Odet needs right now in her fragile life.
>”O-O-Okay.” I said starting to cry a little bit.
>”Oh My God, Odet I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Come here.”
Tempest: Run away, run away!
>he picked me up then carried me to the couch and left me there.
Melanie: To die.
>He went and grabbed a blanket and sat next to me. He layed my head in his lap and said
Dominick: (Aiden.) While you’re down there, if you could just —
Melanie: (Whacks Dominick over the head.) Stop right there, you perv!
Dominick: (Rubbing his head.) Ouchie.
>”Odet, everythings going to be okay. Your safe here. I won’t let Aiden hurt you again. I’ll kill him if he does.” he said in a light whisper.
Kalinda: Because murder is a safe and effective way to deal with your problems.
>”It’s okay. But I need to ask you one question, when we we’re at the park you said you liked me, a lot. Did you really mean that?” I asked.
Gwen: Yes, please let’s talk about your puppy love crush. That’s clearly the most important part of the story so far.
>” Well ofcourse. I wouldn’t of said it if I didn’t mean it. I like you a lot. I was gonna ask you this in a better manor,
Deangelo: So… They were going to go to a different house?
>but I was wondering if you’d ……. go out with me?” he asked.
Kalinda: So is anyone else wondering where the hell CPS is and why they apparently let an orphaned 15-year-old girl wander off into the night?
Gwen: I was wondering that too. But no one really seems to be concerned with the law or anything like that in this story.
>I was fucking puzzeled. He was very handsome and really kind. I don’t know? I guess I should.
Melanie: (Odet.) Because this is going to solve all of my problems.
>”Well of course.” I said then kissed his hand.
>I heard the door open and close.
Dominick: Here’s Johnny!
>”Yo, Levi what’s up?” It was Aiden.
Melanie: (Levi.) Just asking out your ex, who recently beat the shit out of your girlfriend, why?
>”Umm, nothing that is to your concern.” Levi told Aiden.
Melanie: (Levi.) By the way, your girlfriend is probably still lying in the park bleeding, so you might want to go help her out.
>”Oh my God, mom! Are you going to let this little bitch stay here?” Aiden yelled.
Tempest: Um, so what was that long-winded rambling about how sorry he was and how much he missed her and wanted her in his life again?
Gwen: Maybe he has Disassociate Identity Disorder and he was actually one of his other personalities when he spoke with her last.
>”What hunny? And don’t use that language near me.” She walked in through the front door.
Dominick: (Mom.) But as soon as you’re out of the house, swear to your little heart’s content!
>”Oh my, Odet. How have you been? I’ve missed you so much.” she came up and hugged me.
Kalinda: (Mom.) I could have called you or dropped by the house or something during the last two years, but that might have taken some actual effort.
>My eyes started getting wet and before I knew it the tears we’re flowing down my cheek.
Gwen: I find it strange that this girl continues to get “we’re” and “were” mixed up. Not only is “we’re” a contraction, but there’s a difference in the bizarre way that you Americans pronounce it too.
Deangelo: These days, nothing surprises me.
Dominick: (Quickly reaches out and grabs Deangelo’s arm.) Boo!
Deangelo: (O_O!!) Ahhhhh!
Dominick: Ha ha, that surprised you.
>She was so much like my mother before everything happened with my dad.
Kalinda: Before she left the law to become a stripper?
Melanie: You know, there probably are people who have done that before, but it just sounds so strange to go from that profession to the other.
>I couldn’t handle this anymore. Too many memories in this house. I got up from the couch and ran out the door.
Jarred: Run free, little emo! Run free!
>Levi was following me, I could hear him yelling my name. I didn’t want to put him through this, but I couldn’t handle it.
Dominick: You know, she could always run away to the woods and live with the tree people.
Tempest: The tree people?
Dominick: (Whispering.) Shhh… the first rule is; you don’t talk about the tree people.
Gwen: Wow, we’re all going to need psychological evaluations after this MiST.
>I just stopped and fell to the ground crying my eyes out. Levi came up behind me and held me in his arms.
Jarred: (Singing.) Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya. Someone’s crying, lord, kum —
Melanie: (Clamping a hand over Jarred’s mouth.) No more. I can handle whiny emos, impossible situations, and gooey teenage love, but I draw the line at campfire songs.
Jarred: Humph. Fine then. But you’re missing out.
>”Odet, don’t ever leave me again. You understand? No matter what.” He said to me.
Dominick: Can someone please explain to me how these two have become so utterly devoted to each other in a matter of days?
Deangelo: That is the power of emo love. (Nods sagely.)
>He picked me up and carried me back to his house and put me back on the couch and kissed my cheek and covered me with a blanket then went into the kitchen.
Tempest: Um, she can walk, you know.
Gwen: But you never need to walk on your own when you have a man, sweetheart.
Melanie: What a great idea. Dominick, you will now carry me everywhere.
Dominick: Aw, come on, Mel! The weapons you carry on you weigh about twenty pounds by themselves.
Melanie: Don’t you want to be a good boyfriend, Dominick?
Dominick: Not if it involves throwing my back out.
>”Levi, why did she run out like that?” His mom asked. She sounded very upset.
Gwen: (Mom.) Was it my unwavering ambivalence?
>”Mom, she’s been through a lot these past couple years. Her mom just died today, she killed herself.” Levi told her.
Dominick: (Levi.) By the way, is it cool if she crashes here for a while? I know I didn’t ask you or anything, but I figured it would be okay to let a girl stay in the same house as two teenage boys that she’s not related to.
>”Yeah, and that’s what she should do to herself.” Aiden said then laughed.
Kalinda: (Aiden.) Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go stomp on some kittens.
>”Aiden, you fucking asshole. Say one more fucking thing about her,and I will fucking hurt you.
Jarred: I don’t think that they should swear so much. It makes them sound so unfriendly.
Deangelo: That’s a shame. I’m sure friendly was exactly what this young man was going for.
>The only thing that would keep me from killing you is that I wouldn’t be able to see Odet every fucking day of my life.
Gwen: (Levi.) Yes, morality and ethics have no effect on my decision making when it comes to the protection of this girl that I met last week.
>So I dare you to say one more fucking word.”Levi yelled at Aiden.
>”Aww, Levi you have a little crush on Odet.
Melanie: (Aiden.) Or are you just a fucking psycho?
>How fucking cute.” Aiden said then started to laugh again.
Deangelo: (Aiden.) Now, if you don’t mind, there are plenty more babies that need to be thrown into fireplaces.
M: (From the control room.) Warning: another rambling monologue coming up.
>”Yes I do,and that’s why she’s mine you fucking asshole. And how are you going to talk about me liking her when you we’re fucking obbsessed with her until you decided to be an asshole and hurt her. You fucked another girl the first day you got her back. All those fucking years of hurting her and you decided you just had to hurt her even more. She deserves so much more and that’s me. I fucking love her.”
Kalinda: Uh yeah, they’ve spent about a half hour together and they’re in love?
Tempest: Oh please, with the right moves I can make a guy tell me he loves me in five minutes.
Deangelo: Possibly, but I think that says more about the men themselves rather than your “moves”.
>Levi said and he sounded pissed.
Melanie: Seriously? But he called him a “fucking asshole” with such love.
>”Boys cut it out. She can hear you right now.
Jarred: Thank God someone pointed that out.
>Aiden you need to keep your moth shut, go to your room. Aiden, go tell her dinner will be done in five minutes and comfort her.” Their mom said.
Kalinda: Er, Aiden is supposed to do both at the same time?
>Aiden went up to his room and Levi came and sat with me.
Dominick: (Levi.) So, how do you want to be comforted? Because I know what would make me very comfortable.
>I had my eyes shut so he would think that I didn’t hear any of that. He loved me. No, He loves me. My mom would be so happy right now.
Kalinda: Why exactly?
Jarred: Because she found someone that really loves her. Aww, that’s so nice. Maybe her life won’t turn out horribly after all.
Kalinda: Her mom would be overjoyed to know that a dubious teenage boy has a crush on her daughter? Somehow, I don’t see that happening.
>”Odet, I love you so much. ” He said while rubbing my hand.
>”me too.” I whispered to him.
Dominick: Did she just say that she loves herself?
Deangelo: Yes, I believe she did.
>I love you more.
Melanie: (Odet.) I love you.
Dominick: (Levi.) I love you more.
Melanie: (Odet.) No, I love you more.
Dominick: (Levi.) No, I love you more.
Melanie: (Odet.) Nooooo, I love you more.
Dominick: (Levi.) I clearly love you more.
Melanie: (Odet.) Goddamn it, I love you more and if you say another word so help me I will cut you!!!
Dominick: (Levi.) Okay. You love me more.
>I fluttered my eyes open. Levi was looking at me.
Kalinda: But Tempest, Edward does that to Bella all the time. Don’t you know that it’s the height of romantic… ness?
>We we’re still on the couch. I guess I fell asleep here.
Deangelo: (Odet.) Or I could have passed out from the drugs, you never know.
>”Hi, sleeping beauty. My love” He whispered in my ear.
>”Hello funky bunny.” I said then we both laughed.
Dominick: (Slapping his thigh.) Funky bunny! Ha! That’s so hilarious.
Jarred: It is?
Dominick: Clearly, didn’t you see how both of them laughed about it? It’s hysterical!
Melanie: (Rolling her eyes.) Shut up, Dominick.
Dominick: Whatever you say, funky bunny.
>”How about we go and get something to eat for breakfast and then go to the mall?” Levi asked me.
Tempest: Um, am I the only person who remembers that Odet just beat the crap out of a girl in the previous chapter?
M: (From the control room.) That’s one thing that fascinates me about these stories. It’s like the characters live in some kind of lawless society where the only people who can protect the heroine are teenage boys. Amazing.
Dominick: Seriously, M. Sometimes you worry me.
>”Sounds like a deal.” I said.
>” But I don’t have anything to wear.” I said.
Kalinda: (Sigh!) I guess she’ll never make it to the ball.
>” When you fell asleep I went to your house and got your stuff.” He said then handed me the box of clothes and other stuff.
Melanie: Uh yeah, because that’s not creepy or anything.
>”Thanks.” I said then walked into the bathroom.
Deangelo: Please tell me what’s she going to wear, oh please, oh please, oh please.
>I pulled out my purple skinnies, my nevershoutnever shirt, and my black jacket.
Jarred: M, what’s a “nevershoutnever”?
M: Never Shout Never is the stage name of a musician called Christofer Drew Ingle. Apparently he writes the title “NeverShoutNever” when he’s happy and “Never Shout Never” when he’s sad.
Deangelo: Jesus Christ.
>I put on my skinnies then my shirt then my jacket. I got out my brush and toothbrush.
Gwen: Anyone want to guess what she does next?
Jarred: Um, brushes her teeth and then brushes her hair?
>I brushed my teeth then brushed my hair.
Jarred: Yay! I won!
>I put everything back into the box and walked out the door.
>”Let’s go.” I said then walked out the door.
Tempest: Peace out.
>”We walked up into McDonalds and we split a deluxe breakfast. Then we headed for the mall.
Kalinda: Gosh, I hope that they tell us all about what they do at the mall. I just can’t wait to read about it.
>When we got there we walked til’ I found Hot Topic.
Melanie: You know, if you burn one of them down, you can rid your town of emos.
Tempest: But then where would I find ripped purple fishnets? Come on, Mel. Be practical.
Melanie: Uh. Yeah.
>”Oh My gosh, this is my favorite store. I haven’t been here in forever.” I yelled.
>”Okay, haha, pick out anything you want. I’ll get it for you.” Levi said.
Deangelo: It’s so nice to see teenage boys with a mysterious disposable income.
Jarred: Maybe he has a job.
Dominick: Maybe his parents are rich.
Tempest: Maybe he’s a really good pick pocket.
Deangelo: Maybe all three. Who the hell knows? The story has no interest in explaining it.
>”Ightt then but you have to get something too.” I said then pulled him in to the store.
Dominick: I have a question for you, when is the last time a dude suggested to his girlfriend that they should go shopping as an afternoon activity?
Kalinda: Probably the last time he did something so heinous he knew he needed to earn some serious brownie points fast before he ended up on the couch for the night.
Melanie: Yeah, that’s just about right.
>When we we’re checking out I got a My Chemical Romance shirt and some black skinnies with holes in them. Levi got a hat and a wallet.
Tempest: And a new personality.
>”Well that took three hours.”Levi said as we we’re getting in the car.
>”Haha, I know.” I said.
Jarred: Going to McDonald’s and shopping in one store took three hours? How far apart were these buildings?
>”I want to take you to this secret place I know, okay?” He asked me.
>”Sure.” I said.
Melanie: Perfect. Now if he wants to stab her to death, there are no witnesses.
>When we got there it was the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. There was a little pond and trees surrounding it. We put a blanket on the floor and we started making out.
Tempest: (Sitting up in her chair.) Woo-hoo! Finally, some action!
>Then I rolled on top of Levi and he put his hands up my shirt.
Dominick: (Talking through a bullhorn.) We have contact. Third base has been reached. Attention all personnel, third base has been reached. This is not a drill.
>”Odet, are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you into anything.” He said.
Kalinda: Yeah sure, that’s what all teenage boys say. Then suddenly you’re flat on your back on the bed of his truck in his garage while his parents argue upstairs and when you really think about it you realize that you really didn’t want to do that, but it’s too late to take it back and you have to forever live with the fact that you lost your virginity on something that has four wheels!
Others: (O_o) Uhhhh…
Kalinda: So yeah. Back to the MiST.
>”I’m positive. When you love somebody you show your love.” I said then started taking off his shirt.
Gwen: Great. This is a wonderful message to send to all the pubescent readers.
>He yanked off my shirt and took off my skinnies. He took off his clothes and I took off my bra and panties. His jaw opened wide.
Gwen: I would like to point out that this girl regularly cuts herself, so her body is most likely covered in scars. Not really attractive, when you think about it.
>I laughed at his face expression.
Dominick: Should we be watching this emo love fest? It feels wrong and dirty.
Tempest: Oh come on, at least someone’s getting something around here.
>He put on protection and stuck it in me slowly.
Kalinda: Uh, first rule of writing romance novels; never refer to the romantic character’s penis as “it”.
>I moaned. Then he got faster and faster. I moaned and moaned.
Tempest: And? Come on, get to the good stuff.
>After we we’re done we layed together for another hour.
Tempest: Seriously? That’s it? Come on! I got all excited and now I’m all bummed out. Damm it.
>He got up and handed me my bra and panties then he got hs clothes on. When we got ready we got in his car and drove to his house.
Deangelo: You do realize that the boy thought ahead enough to bring a condom. He had probably been planning this little emo love fest the entire time.
Jarred: This all just feels so wrong.
>When we got inside we layed in his bed.
>” I love you Odet.” He whispered.
>”I love you more Levi.” I whispered.
Jarred: Is it the end yet?
M: (From the control room.) Not even close.
MiSTers: (O_O!) What?!
>We have been together for a year now and we love eachother with everything.
Kalinda: Everything in my sock drawer, that is.
Tempest: Page break! Page break! Oh, I missed doing that so much.
>I started throwing up blood.
Dominick: Uhhh… I’m not a doctor, but that seems like it might be bad.
>”Odet, I’m taking you to the hospital.” Levi told me.
>”No I- BLAHHH.” I threw up more blood.
Jarred: Ew. That can’t be healthy.
>I couldn’t hear anymore. Why is everything spinning? OW! My head hit the ground.
Le picked me up and drove me to the hospital.
Melanie: (Odet.) At least I think he did. I don’t really know because I was unconscious the entire time.
>The doctor came into the room.
Kalinda: (Doctor.) Congratulations! You’re pregnant with twins.
>”Levi, Odet, I’m sorry to say this but Odet has a very rare disease. She’s had it for five years now.
Gwen: What disease?
Dominick: Maybe it’s lupus.
Others: But it’s never lupus!
>If she would have came in sooner, she could find a cure to live.
Deangelo: Uh, are we getting any more details about this mysterious disease?
>But t’s too late now, she has exactly one week to live.
Deangelo: Okay, I guess not.
>She can’t leave the hospital. We’re going to get her her own room and get her set up, but I’m going to give you two a couple minutes together.” The doctor said then walked out of the door.
Kalinda: Yeah, peace out and all. Gotta love that kind of bedside manner.
>Levi and I both started crying.
>”Levi, I don’t want to die. I want to be with you forever.” I said.
Melanie: (Odet.) Or at least another month. I was getting kinda uncertain about our whole relationship.
>”I know sweety. I know.” Just then the nurses came and set me up in my own room.
Dominick: Which also happened to be right next to the morgue. Just making it easier to move the bodies.
>They made Levi leave so they could do more test and things of the such.
Jarred: “Things of the such”?
Kalinda: (Miss South Carolina.) And the Iraq and such as. Because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps.
>This was going to be the last week of my life.
Deangelo: And we all know what that means, right?
Tempest: Yeah, it’s almost the end of the story! Woot!
>”No Fear.” I whispered to myself.
Dominick: That’s just so depressing.
Jarred: What is?
Dominick: Her wonderful quote that she finds so comforting in her hour of need is actually the name of a clothing brand.
Melanie: Throughout this entire story, that’s the one thing that you find depressing.
Dominick: Well, there’s plenty of other stuff too. But this is like believing that Santa Claus is God. It’s just sad.
Gwen: I don’t think I’m likely to forget this nonsense any time soon…
>It’s been six days since I was told I was going to die. Each day got a little harder. I lost my hair, my skin is pale white, I can barely talk now.
Jarred: Maybe she has some kind of flesh eating bacterial disease.
Dominick: Maybe she’s turning into a zombie!
>Levi hasn’t been going through this as good as I wanted him to. But no matter what he’s going to move on after this.
Tempest: He might be too emo to move on.
Tempest: Well yeah, think about it, what better thing is there for an emo than to have the current love of your life die tragically? He has emo material for years to come!
>Just the other day I was telling him that if he didn’t move on I was going to haunt his ass when I’m dead.
Deangelo: Yes, having a constant reminder of your dead girlfriend is definitely going to help him move on.
>It kinda made him lighten up a little bit.
Jarred: But only kinda.
>I’m gonna miss him so much. He’s going to miss me too. But he’s going to marry another girl and have children but he’s never going to forget about me. NEVER.
Deangelo: Is anyone else wondering how this girl is financing her hospice care?
Dominick: I wasn’t, but now that you mention it, she probably doesn’t have any insurance and as soon as you walk into a hospital they charge you several thousand dollars.
>He swore on his whole life he wouldn’t forget about me.
Tempest: And what did we say about this earlier?
>But I think he needs to forget about me to live a fully happy life.
Gwen: What the…
Kalinda: So she wants him to move on. But she doesn’t want him to forget about her. But he needs to forget about her in order to move on.
>But I will never leave his side.
Jarred: At least in metaphor.
>I’ll be his gardian angel and I’ll wait for him until he’s with me. I told him this every day.
Tempest: Whoa, that’ll be kinda awkward. I mean, think about it, he rolls up into heaven and there’s his childhood honey and all the girlfriends that he had after her.
Melanie: Captain’s log. I noticed a small growth on my toe nail. I think it might be some kind of fungus.
>”Levi, theres one more thing I need you to do.” I said.
Kalinda: (Odet.) Scratch my nose. It itches like crazy.
>”Anything babe.” He said.
Deangelo: (Levi.) And by “anything” I mean, anything that I actually feel like doing that doesn’t take any real effort.
>’I want you to live your life with no fear. No fear of ving without me
Jarred: V… ing? “Ving”? Kalinda, how do you “ving”?
Tempest: I don’t know, but I want to try it sometime!
>or losing another person you love. Talk to me when your lost or need guidence.
Kalinda: (Odet.) Cause I’ll be all helpful and stuff once I’m dead.
>I’ll be with you and waiting for you. Just one thing though that I ask of you.”
Dominick: (Odet.) Don’t go through my underwear drawer when I’m gone. There are some things in there I don’t want you to see.
>”Anything.” he said crying.
>”Remember me.” I whispered then died.
Gwen: Guess what this means.
Melanie: The story is over!!!!!
Deangelo: Well, ding, dong, the bitch is dead.
Dominick: Finally! I thought she would never kick the bucket!
Jarred: That’s really mean, you guys. She was just an innocent kid.
Dominick: Come on, Jarred. Do you really want to MiST anymore of this story?
Jarred: Well no, but I don’t want to celebrate the poor girl’s passing.
M: (From the control room.) You might want to hold off on the victory celebrations for a minute. There’s an epilogue.
Tempest: Awww, dammit!
>”Odet Rodgers died October 25th. At the very young age of 16.
Deangelo: I don’t think the question is when she died, I think the question is; did she ever really live?
>She was the love of my life and I will never forget her. I love her with my whole heart” >Levi said at my funeral.
Dominick: (Levi.) And I also loved her with the funny feeling I got in my pants whenever she was around.
>THE END, COMMENT IF YOU LIKED IT.
MiSTers: We didn’t like it!
>It was my first one, so if it wasn’t good, sorry. (:
Gwen: That’s no excuse!
>Should I make another story?
>I bet it will be way better than this one, lol. 🙂
Kalinda: I find that highly unlikely.
Jarred: Maybe she’s improved since she wrote this one.
M: (From the control room.) I can look up her other stories and check for you guys. If, you know, you want to MiST again.
MiSTers: No thanks, M!
>I’m going to satr another story called “Losing it” You shou check it out,! If I started itt. But if I didn’t come back and read itt. It’s gonna be stellar.!
Deangelo: I highly doubt that for some reason.
Tempest: Is it finally done now, M?
M: (From the control room.) The story is over. You are all free to emerge back into the real world. And by “real world” I mean, the Spotted Satellite.
(The MiSTers and M are all seated around the conference room table eating Chinese food.)
Deangelo: So, Dominick, did you ever give any more thought to getting your GED?
Dominick: Yeah, I did. I think if I get some tutoring, I can take the test and ace it. I remember a lot of stuff from high school anyway.
M: Really? Because I don’t. I don’t remember anything about physics or algebra 2 or trig or biology.
Dominick: Wait, those are high school classes?
M: Um, yeah.
Dominick: (;_;) Well, crap.
Gwen: Don’t worry, Dominick. I’m sure that each of the MiSTers can tutor you in something. For example, I’m excellent at high level math.
Deangelo: I know all about physics and the sciences.
M: I can tutor you in English.
Jarred: I’m pretty good with geography.
Kalinda: What’s the capital of Kenya?
Kalinda: (Nodding.) Not bad.
Melanie: And I know all about the legal system, so I can teach you about the courts and government.
Kalinda: I’m good at history.
Tempest: And I can teach you family life.
M: Uh, I don’t think that’s on the test, Tempest.
Tempest: Doesn’t matter. I’ll teach it to him anyway. (Winks at Dominick.)
Melanie: (Rolling her eyes.) Dominick, would you like to learn about sex from Tempest and forever have to sleep on the couch?
Dominick: Uh, no?
Melanie: Very good.
M: Hey, we should get started after we finish eating.
Dominick: Great, I’ll have my GED in no time at all! By the way, what does GED stand for anyway?