MiST 71 – I’ll Dance With You

Ash-and-Pikachu-Fanart-pokemon-29202646-500-462Kalinda is in full wedding-planning mode. The MiSTers are just starting to suffer when M decides to make them suffer in an entirely different way. Can they take on a Pokemon fluff fic or will a sappy love story involving Pikachu and Ash simply be too much?

Want to know more about MiSTing? Read Star’s Guide to MiSTing and educate yourself.

Disclaimer:

I don’t own any copyrighted characters, series or songs. Which should be obvious, because I didn’t copyright them. I didn’t write the story being MiSTed.

My intellectual property in this MiST is the witty remarks, my MiSTers, and the mad. My characters are used only with my permission.

This MiSTing is not a personal attack on the author. It’s an attack on their terrible writing. This is not meant to be even slightly constructive, instead it is meant solely for the amusement of others.

It’s important to learn to laugh at ourselves. Don’t take life too seriously.

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MiSTers!

Melanie Bryce – The real way to a man’s heart is through his stomach cavity.
Dominick Dante – I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
Gwenavere Donovan – Walk softly and carry a palm pilot.
Jarred Zion – Strangers are just friends that you haven’t met!
Deangelo Desiderio – Grumpy is the only one of the seven dwarfs I understand.
Tempest Lucki – Hey, you’re cute. What are you doing after the MiST?
Kalinda Beckham – Yes, that’s right, I’m the only remotely normal person here.

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(The conference room is decked out in sample wedding décor with Kalinda and the girls sitting in the gaming nook flipping through bridal magazines. There are tester cakes on the conference room table along with various bridesmaids dresses slung over the backs of chairs. Several flower arrangements are covering the buffet. The boys stand in the hallway gazing into the conference room with a mixture of horror and curiosity.)

Jarred: Do you think it’s safe to go in?
Dominick: Hell to the no. Not with these chicks in full wedding mode.
Deangelo: I must concur. The last time I went in there Kalinda started asking me my opinion on corsages as if it’s a matter of deathly importance. I don’t believe the average man would care less.
Jarred: When do you think they’ll be done?
Deangelo: Kalinda set the date for six months from now. Not until then.
Dominick: I can’t believe they’ve taken up the entire conference room with this crap. I can’t even get to the Xbox or the Wii.
Jarred: Well, Kalinda’s all excited about getting married. I guess we should be supportive. Or something.
Dominick: You know, there’s something fishy about that Evangelos character.
Deangelo: Could this have anything to do with the fact that you don’t like him?
Dominick: A little. But still. From what I understand Evangelos and Kalinda were sleeping together for over a year. No relationship. No strings attached. What kind of guy would want to marry someone that they’re clearly not interested enough in to have an actual relationship with?
Jarred: Are you saying that Evangelos is up to something?
Dominick: Maybe. I mean, we don’t know that much about him.
Deangelo: How do you propose we investigate him? He doesn’t have his own story. He’s basically a floater.
Dominick: Maybe we can tail him. M can track where characters are and what stories are active, maybe if we figure out where he is and see what he’s up to.
Jarred: Oh no, I’m not letting you guys drag me into this one. We’ve all been in enough trouble as it is lately. I’m not getting yelled at again or going to MiST another silly emo story as punishment.
Dominick: Jarredlita, we have to MiST silly emo stories anyway. There’s no escaping it.
Deangelo: But Jarred does have a point. We’ve all been in trouble a lot lately. Why don’t we find someone to help us out?
Dominick: But who can we trust? None of them girls will help us, they’re too wrapped up in the wedding.
Deangelo: We need someone who is trustworthy, but easy to manipulate, and wants to be helpful to others.
Dominick: Yeah I know, but Jarred said he won’t do it.
Jarred: Wait, what about Ingie?
Deangelo: Ingie? Is he still alive?
Jarred: Of course he is. He lives in the land of Happy Fluffy Bunnies. I went to see him last week. He’ll be willing to help us out.
Dominick: (0_0!) Jarred, you’re a genius!
Jarred: (^-^) Awww, thanks, Dommie.

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(Dominick, Jarred and Deangelo pile into M’s office. After making sure that the coast is clear Dominick sits down at her desk and accesses the story tracking software on her computer.)

Dominick: Okay, I found Ingie. Now how do I summon him?
Jarred: Uh, there’s a button in the corner that says “summon”, maybe you should try that.
Dominick: Oh yeah. Right.

(Dominick presses the “summon” button and with a whirl of lights a handsome young man is transported into the room.)

Ingie: — So I said to her, how can I start a support group for Ingies when I’m the only one? And she said — (He glances around.) Hey wait a minute, where am I?
Jarred: (^_^) Hi there, Ingie!
Ingie: Jarred! So good to see you. Uh, where am I?
Jarred: You’re on the Spotted Satellite.
Deangelo: Ingie, there’s no time to spare. We desperately need your help.
Ingie: My help? You need an Ingies’ help?
Dominick: Yeah, you see, one of the girls just got engaged but we think that —
Deangelo: A beautiful, sweet young woman said that she would marry a man that we think might not be who he claims he is. We want to prevent her from making a terrible, terrible mistake so we need you to follow him and see if he does anything questionable.
Ingie: I don’t know. Isn’t that like spying?
Deangelo: Do you want an innocent young lady to marry a man who won’t love her and treat her like the princess that she is?
Ingie: Of course not! Ingies everywhere have dedicated their lives to protecting the innocent and punishing the naughty! Our proud race has long —
Deangelo: So you’ll do it?
Ingie: Sure. So what’s the guy’s name?
Dominick: His names is Evangelos. I found him hanging out in one of Prisma’s stories. Apparently he likes to go clubbing.
Ingie: Then I will track him down and discover his dark secrets.
Deangelo: Are you sure you can do this?
Ingie: Of course, I have been specially trained by the Order of the HFBs in police work and espionage.
Jarred: The HFBs have classes in espionage?
Ingie: Yes. Although they mostly use it to figure out what would be the perfect birthday present for a loved one. But it’s the same principle. Never fear, gentlemen, Ingie is on the case!

(Dominick clicks another button and Ingie is transported to one of Prisma’s stories.)

Deangelo: Are you sure this was a good idea.
Dominick: Not in the least. But we might as well try.

(Suddenly the song “Fight For this Love” starts blasting over the PA system followed by M’s voice.)

M: Everyone please assemble in the theatre. I have just discovered a Pokémon fan fiction that needs to be dealt with. Quickly.

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(The boys enter the theatre to discover the girls are already seated and are still discussing wedding plans.)

Melanie: I’m not saying that you want your hair pulled totally back, but you might want to wear it in a bun and leave some curls in the front.
Tempest: But hair down is so sexy! You want to be a sexy bride, right?
Gwen: But hair up is the style right now.
Tempest: Yeah, but when you look back at the pictures do you want them to look really dated? No. So you want to wear your hair down.
Kalinda: I don’t know. I saw one style that I liked that was a French braid.

(The boys take their seats slowly.)

Dominick: Hi there, girls.
Jarred: So, we have to MiST a Pokémon fic. That sounds painful.
Gwen: A French braid? You wear a French braid to the father-daughter dance at your secondary school. Not to your wedding.
Melanie: But you have a heart-shaped face, Kalinda. Pulled back with curls in the front would look super cute.
Deangelo: Today I discovered that I could use my penis as a trebuchet.
Tempest: You know, Kalinda. It IS your wedding. You should really go with what you want to do.
Kalinda: But you have a good point, Tempest. I don’t want my pictures to look dated in a few years.
Gwen: Photos are going to look dated no matter what. I mean, did you ever see wedding photos from the seventies? There’s no helping the passage of time.
M: (From the control room.) Wedding talk later, girls. It’s MiSTing time!

>I’ll Dance With You

Kalinda: That reminds me, should we do the father-daughter dance at my wedding? I mean, my parents got divorced when I was young and my dad was never really a part of my life. Wouldn’t that be weird?

>By pikachugirl2

Gwen: I think this would be a great time to start repairing your relationship with your father. Just think, when you have children, you’ll want to have him in your life then.
Kalinda: Yeah, but can I really trust him though?
M: (From the control room.) Okay, this is your first and last warning. No more wedding talk during the MiST.
Kalinda: Or what?
M: (From the control room.) Sashimi.
Kalinda: Uh, okay. Forget I asked.

>Ash sighed as he watched the couples of two slowly glide across the dance floor.

Deangelo: It was his high school prom and he was serving drinks.

>Tonight was supposed to be a great night, but after winning the tournament in honor
of Sir Aaron,

Jarred: Uh, who is Sir Aaron?
M: (From the control room.) He is a legendary Pokémon master known as the Hero of the Wave. He was a main character in the story “Lucario and the Mystery of Mew”.

>he was stuck in a chair all night,

Tempest: With super glue!

>holding a stupid staff. He couldn’t help but envy his friends, who were probably out
having the time of their life.

Dominick: Brock had gotten his face slapped by every girl at the dance, Misty was having a heated discussion with another trainer about the superiority of water Pokémon, and Tracey had long been removed from the dance for annoying all of the guests.

>Even Pikachu had left him to go and play with the other Pokemon. This was NOT how he wanted to spend his night.

Melanie: Just think he could have been out doing the fascinating stuff that he normal does.
Dominick: Like what?
Melanie: Exactly.

>Meanwhile, while May and Brock were dancing, and Max was stuffing his face,

Jarred: Hey look, Brock found someone to dance with. That’s nice, isn’t it?
Deangelo: I wonder how many roofies he had to slip her.

>Pikachu was busy exploring the huge castle with the other Pokemon. Looking around, it was startled when a tiny voice came from behind it.

Dominick: (Tiny voice.) Kill your parents. Kill your parents.

>”Mew! Mew, Mew Mew!”

Gwen: Um, what does that mean in Mew language?
M: (From the control room.) It means “I need to wash my clothes. I wonder where the detergent is.”
Jarred: It does?
M: (From the control room.) Well, not really. I don’t actually know. There’s no translation given and I don’t speak Mew.

>”Pika?” It turned around to come face-to-face with…a MEW?

Kalinda: (Pikachu.) A Mew was making all the mew-ing sounds? No way!

>Weren’t they supposed to be rare? Pikachu couldn’t recall EVER seeing one, except for a vague memory that was very foggy…a Mew and a Mewtwo battling each other…

Dominick: I have a similar vague memory. Possibly because we haven’t watched any Pokémon for years.
Jarred: That’s right, we’re probably not even qualified to MiST this fic.
M: (From the control room.) Nice try, keep MiSTing.

>Pikachu shook its head and focused on the problem at hand.

Melanie: Which was?

>Instead of talking, the Mew began to use telepathy.
>Mew: Hi, nice to meet you! I’m Mew, but you probably already knew that…

Kalinda: Mew seems very chipper.

>Pikachu: Hi, I’m…well, just Pikachu, I guess.
>Mew: Nice to meet you! So, do you have a trainer?

Dominick: (Pikachu.) You mean the dude that I follow around? Yeah, I guess he’s my trainer.

>Pikachu: Mmm-hmm! His name is Ash, he’s really nice!
>Mew: Well where is he?

Gwen: (Pikachu.) He’s busy complaining about things.

>Pikachu: He won the tournament, so he has to sit in a chair all night…

Jarred: That’s not really much of a prize, you know. He should at least be able to walk around and enjoy the hors d’oeuvres.

>Mew: Wow, that’s kind of sad. I feel bad every year when someone wins and can’t
enjoy themselves.

Tempest: Uh, now that they’ve identified the flaw in the system, why don’t they go about fixing it?

>But you know, there is a way he can get up for a little while.
>Pikachu tilted its head. Pikachu: How?

Dominick: (Mew.) Light his ass on fire.

>Mew smiled. Mew: Well, if someone, anyone, asks the winner to a dance, they aren’t
allowed to refuse, no matter who it is. If you go and ask him to dance, he’s allowed to
get up!

Gwen: But Pikachu is a Pokémon. That would be like your dog asking you to dance.

>Pikachu looked at its feet. Pikachu: But…I’m a Pokemon, doesn’t that seem kind of
weird?

MiSTers: Yes. Yes, it does.

>Mew: Oh, well, the rest of you doesn’t seem to think so.
>Pikachu froze. Pikachu: Are you reading my mind?

Tempest: Because what’s the point in having psychic powers if you can’t abuse them?

>Mew: Maybe! It’s cute! You actually-
>Pikachu sighed. Pikachu: PLEASE don’t…

Jarred: Uh, I’m getting a feeling of for boating.

>Mew giggled. Mew: YOU LIKE HIM!!!

MiSTers: (O_O!!!) What?!

>Pikachu blushed Pikachu:. I DO NOT!!!

Deangelo: This, this is like bestiality! Or… no, it’s like bestiality.

>Mew: What’s wrong with a Pokemon having a crush on a human? It’s sweet! You have
every right to like him, now get out there and prove your love!

Gwen: Me thinks Mew might be a bad influence.
Kalinda: What kind of sick individual thought it was appropriate to write a love story between Ash and Pikachu?

>Pikachu pushed Mew playfully. Pikachu: Stop it…so what if I like him? That doesn’t
mean I want to TELL him…but I’ll ask him to a dance…JUST to get him up for a little
while.

Tempest: Yeah. Sometimes you start out dancing and end up kneeling.
M: (From the control room.) Wow, Tempest. Just wow. The only person who might actually get that reference is Sharyna.
Tempest: Then Sharyna, that one’s for you!

>Mew: Okay, well, I’ll be waiting here, let me know how it goes!

Deangelo: Two minutes and one broken heart later…

>Pikachu walked back into the main room of the castle, where everyone was dancing. It
spotted Ash at the front, and, although it saw him every day, felt more nervous than
ever at the sight of him.

Dominick: This is kind of confusing. The author keeps referring to Pikachu as “it” although it’s already been made clear in the show that Pikachu is male.
Gwen: Yes, and if the author keeps calling Pikachu “it” it seems to imply that Pikachu is sexless. Which it can’t be, if it’s interested in Ash.

>No way. Mew was just making stuff up. There’s no way, NO WAY, he’d ever say he
>liked me back. I should just forget it, this was a stupid idea…

Jarred: You *should* forget it, but for some reason I don’t think you will.

>Pikachu walked up to Ash and smiled at him. Ash looked down and returned the
>smile. “Hi, Pikachu. I’d come and play with you, but…I’m kinda…stuck here…”

Dominick: Stuck like an emo!
Melanie: Dommie, that doesn’t even make sense.
Dominick: Well… it… okay, maybe it doesn’t…

>”Pikapi…Pika, Pikachu?” For once Pikachu was glad Ash didn’t understand it fully; if
it screwed up what it said, he would never know…

Deangelo: But Pikachu himself would know and would regret it until the day he died.

>The woman next to Ash smiled, giggling. “It looks like your Pokemon is asking you to
a dance.”

Kalinda: Thank you, Ms. Concerned Citizen! Your help in moving this ridiculous piece of fluff along will certainly not condemn you to the darkest depths of fictional hell for all eternity!

>Ash tilted his head. Pikachu just sighed. How the heck did she know…
>Ash turned his attention back to Pikachu. “Is that true? You want me to dance with
you?”

Gwen: You know, if a dog walks up to its owner and starts barking the owner usually doesn’t assume that the dog wants to dance.

>It blushed, nodding and trying to stop blushing. The woman nodded at Ash, and he
stood up, trying to figure out how this was going to work.

Deangelo: Oh dear God!
Gwen: What’s wrong, darling?
Deangelo: I just had a flashback to one of the lemons I once read in M’s MiSTing Fodder folder.
Tempest: Ooo, what was it?
Deangelo: In the story Pikachu had a secret penis that folded up into his body and during the lemon he made love to Misty.
Kalinda: (Turning slightly green.) Ew.

>Pikachu couldn’t help but look at how well the Sir Aaron costume suited him. He even looked…cute.

Melanie: Hey M, how old is Ash during this fic?
M: (From the control room.) Around 12, I think. I’m not sure. I haven’t seen the Diamond & Pearl series and Ash and friends seem to be stuck in a time warp anyway.

>Ash picked up Pikachu, trying to see how in the world they could possibly dance with such a large height difference.

Tempest: Yeah, that height difference might cause some problems if they want to… you know… do other things too.

>He raised Pikachu so they were at eye level, but the moment they locked eyes,
>Pikachu’s face nearly caught fire and it looked away. Ash noticed.

Jarred: Noticed the tray of delicious cream puffs on the buffet!

>”What’s wrong, buddy?”

Kalinda: Anyone else find it a little creepy that Ash still calls Pikachu “buddy”?
Melanie: When you think about it, Ash hasn’t said that he likes Pikachu as more than a Pokémon. Maybe he can put an end to this nonsense.
Dominick: Yeah, since when as Ash ever put an end to any nonsense?

>Pikachu just shook its head, still blushing. “Pika, Pikachu…”
>Ash hugged Pikachu and began to walk around the dance floor. Close enough, he
thought. Not like I can dance to begin with.

Deangelo: So when is someone going to notice this Pokémon abuse?
Tempest: They’re just dancing. It’s not like they’re making out or anything.
Gwen: Just wait.

>Had Ash taken enough time to look down, he would’ve noticed Pikachu nearly
hyperventilating and blushing like crazy.

Jarred: Uh, that can’t be healthy.
Kalinda: Maybe this is how the fic ends? Pikachu faints and has to be taken to the Poké Center?

>Pikachu was confused with its own emotions. It’d never had problems around him
before, even WITH its crush, so why were things bothering it now?

Jarred: You know, I never really thought of Pikachu as a 12-year-old school girl, but this fic is starting to make me reconsider.

>Out of nowhere, Pikachu started to cry. Ash was very confused, and walked outside
and onto the balcony, setting Pikachu down.

Gwen: Can Pokémon even cry? I’ve never seen one do it.
Kalinda: I think that’s the least of our problems in this fic.

>He sat down on the ground beside it.
>”Pikachu, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

Jarred: On second thought, I think even a 12-year-old school girl would have more dignity than that.

>Pikachu shook its head and tried desperately to stop crying, only to make itself cry
harder. Ash rubbed its head worriedly.

Tempest: Ooo, it —
Dominick: Not that head, Tempest! Not that head!
Tempest: … Oh.

>Around then, a strange pink aura made both turn around. Mew was floating behind
them.

Melanie: (Mew.) So, how did my relationship advice work out, Pikachu?

>Any other time, Ash would’ve been thrilled at the sight of a rare Pokemon like Mew,
but not right now.

Deangelo: He had a possibly criminal offense to think about.
Kalinda: Can people get arrested for “loving” their Pokémon a little too much?
Gwen: That topic is never covered in the original series, but one would think that someone would have tried by now.

>His mind was set on Pikachu at the moment. Mew floated over to the crying Pokemon.
>Mew: So, what’d he say?

Deangelo: Uh, the hysterical sobs don’t quite give it away?

>Pikachu: I didn’t tell him! I don’t want to!
>Mew looked at Ash. Mew: Is that him? He’s cute!

Tempest: (Pikachu.) Bitch, you back up off my man before I kick your pastel pink ass back into the glitch you came from!

>Pikachu: Yeah, that’s him…
>Mew: What are you waiting for? TELL HIM NOW!

Gwen: That Mew is getting very demanding.
Kalinda: Yeah, who does he think he is? Dr. Phil?

>Pikachu: I can’t! I’m crying because…I don’t know why!

Dominick: Maybe Pikachu is waiting for a visit from Aunt Rose or something.
Gwen: Dominick, are you referring to menstruation?
Dominick: Gah! Don’t say that word!

>Mew sighed. Mew: It’s not worth crying over if you haven’t even told him yet…

Jarred: It’s not worth cry over at all. But that’s beside the point.

>Ash picked up the whole telepathic conversation. Mew had probably meant for that to
happen.

Melanie: Mew needs to stay out of people’s relationships. Seriously.

>”What? I’m so confused? Tell me what? And why are you crying, Pikachu?”

Dominick: (Pikachu.) Tell you that you’ve been walking around all night with toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

>Mew smiled at Pikachu. Mew: It’s now or never, you might as well say it. You’ve got
nothing to lose, anyway.

Deangelo: How about their professional relationship?

>Pikachu: Fine! If you’ll leave me alone about it!

Gwen: Browbeating: it’s excellent motivation.

>Pikachu stood up and wiped its tears, forcing itself to stare directly into Ash’s eyes. >”Pikapi…”

Kalinda: Yeah, great idea. Tell him in Pikachu language. We’ve already established that he understands that.

>Mew was anxious. Mew: Come on, just say it telepathically, I’ll let him hear it…

Jarred: Just think. If they get married then Mew can be the maid of honor.

>Pikachu took a deep breath. Pikachu: ASH, I’VE HAD A CRUSH ON YOU SINCE WE
GOT CHASED BY THE SPEAROW!!! OKAY? YOU HAPPY NOW, MEW? I SAID IT!!!

Deangelo: Chased by Spearow? Wasn’t that in the first episode?
Dominick: Yeah, I think so.
Deangelo: Then Pikachu has had a crush on Ash this entire time?
Kalinda: Remember what we learned from Under The Moon, Deangelo.
Tempest: That semen stains show up under black light?
Kalinda: No, that unrequited love is the worst thing that can happen to someone.

>Mew smiled brightly. Mew: See, it wasn’t that hard…

Melanie: Is it just me or does Mew seem slightly sadistic in this story?

>Tears rushed to Pikachu’s eyes. Pikachu: Yes it was! Because I DID have something to
lose! He’d never like a Pokemon! Pokemon aren’t supposed to like humans! It’s sick
and wrong, and-

Dominick: Yes, it IS sick, it IS wrong. You should NOT be having these feelings.

>Pikachu’s thoughts were stopped by Ash embracing it tightly and lovingly, rubbing its back softly.

Dominick: It… it’s wrong! It’s WRONG!!!!

>”Pikachu…you’re really brave, you know…”
>Pikachu: W-what? How am I-

Dominick: Oh… sugar cookies.

>A small tear dropped onto Pikachu’s head. It looked up and saw Ash, starting to cry. >”You had the courage to say what I never would’ve been able to, better than I
would’ve been able to.”

(There is a collective face palm.)

>Pikachu was confused for a moment. Pikachu: But then…that means…
>Ash nodded. “I love you too, buddy.”

Gwen: I suppose it’s time for one knee and a proposal.

>Pikachu started to talk, but tears got the best of it, and it just hugged Ash and cried.

Dominick: I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Melanie: (Opens up one of the arm rests and retrieves a barf bag.) Here you go, honey.

>Ash smiled and rubbed its back. Mew smiled and giggled. Before it disappeared,
Pikachu stopped it.
>Pikachu: Mew…sorry I doubted you…thanks.

Kalinda: (Mew.) That will teach you to second guess my crazy match making skillz!

>Mew: No problem. Besides, you guys make a cute couple.

Jarred: If by cute you mean weird and wrong, then yes.

>Mew disappeared off the balcony, flying out over the streets and around the castle.
Ash wiped the remaining tears out of Pikachu’s eyes and stood up with Pikachu in his
arms.

Tempest: (Ash.) Time to make sweet, sweet love.
Dominick: (Turning slightly green.) You know, the implications of this fic are actually worse than some lemons we’ve MiSTed.

>”If I could dance with you, I would…”
>Pikachu reached up and patted Ash’s head, motioning for him to lower his head.

Kalinda: Pikachu then bitch slapped him for being such a weirdo.

>When he did, Pikachu blushed and kissed his cheek, leaving Ash blushing as well.
Ash leaned down and kissed Pikachu on the lips in reply.

Deangelo: Please tell me that this breaks some kind of law…

>Both of them smiled and just stared up at the stars. Ash seemed happier than Pikachu,
and not just because he was relieved temporarily of his sitting duties.
>”Someday, Pikachu…I’ll dance with you.”

M: (From the control room.) Okay guys, you all survived. Let’s get back to the conference room. The caterers are here with the sample 4 course meal.
Kalinda: (Jumping up.) Yes! I can’t wait!
Dominick: Awww, do we have to go?
M: (From the control room.) It’s free food.
Dominick: That is a very tempting argument…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(The MiSTers are assembled in the conference room all enjoying the sample chicken cordon bleu when suddenly Ingie bursts into the room, panting and sputtering.)

Ingie: Green card!
M: Uh, hi, Ingie. Did you come to sample the wedding food?
Ingie: No, it’s all about the green card!
Tempest: No, it’s all about the Benjamins, baby. Don’t you ever listen to the radio?
Deangelo: (O_O!!) Ingie! Welcome back! Well, let’s go talk some where!

(Deangelo and Dominick get up and start to escort Ingie away when he shouts.)

Ingie: Evangelos needs a green card!

(The other MiSTers stop eating and stare at Ingie.)

Kalinda: Hey wait a second, what did you say?

(Deangelo and Dominick sigh deeply and release Ingie who turns and smiles at her. He smoothes out his hair and straightens up before respond.)

Ingie: Evangelos is marrying that poor young lady in order to stay in America. If he doesn’t he’ll be deported to his native Columbia.
Gwen: Poor young lady?
Ingie: (To Dominick and Deangelo.) I found out what he’s up to. It wasn’t even that hard, really. Did I do a good job?
Kalinda: How did you find this out?
Ingie: Well, Evangelos went to Zivon’s club in Prisma’s story and told a minor character that he was getting married. When the minor character asked him why in the world he would get married, Evangelos said that he was in danger of being deported if he didn’t. He said that he had everything worked out and as soon as he got his green card he was going to divorce her and go back to his regular life.

(The MiSTers exchange glances.)

Ingie: So who was he planning to marry anyway?

(Everyone points to Kalinda.)

Ingie: (0_0!!) Oh. This is a little awkward.
Melanie: Yeah, just a little.
Ingie: Well, um. I’m sorry?
Kalinda: (Biting the inside of her lip.) It’s okay. It’s all okay, actually. (She rises.) I need to have a little conversation with Evangelos. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be right back.

(Kalinda exits the conference room.)

Dominick: She doesn’t own a gun, does she?
Deangelo: I don’t think so.
Jarred: Well, I guess the only thing left to do is finish these sample meals. Ingie, would you like one? They’re quite delicious.
Ingie: Ooo, don’t mind if I do.

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