The MiSTers are getting tense when M informs them that they’ll be MiSTing another story. This one starts off the Greek god Hades ordering one of his subjects to go out and murder people. Will this story be something new and interesting for the MiSTers to tackle or will it turn into the same old mindless love story that they’ve been MiSTing all along?
Want to know more about MiSTing? Read Star’s Guide to MiSTing and educate yourself.
I don’t own any copyrighted characters, series or songs. Which should be obvious, because I didn’t copyright them. I didn’t write the story being MiSTed. My intellectual property in this MiST is the witty remarks, my MiSTers, and the mad. My characters are used only with my permission.
This MiSTing is not a personal attack on the author. It’s an attack on their terrible writing. This is not meant to be even slightly constructive, instead it is meant solely for the amusement of others.
It’s important to learn to laugh at ourselves. Don’t take life too seriously.
Melanie Bryce – The real way to a man’s heart is through his stomach cavity.
Dominick Dante – I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
Gwenavere Donovan – Walk softly and carry a BlackBerry.
Jarred Zion – Strangers are just friends that you haven’t met!
Deangelo Desiderio – Grumpy is the only one of the seven dwarfs I understand.
Tempest Lucki – Hey, you’re cute. What are you doing after the MiST?
Kalinda Beckham – Yes, that’s right, I’m the only remotely normal person here.
(M enters the conference room to find the MiSTers playing a game of Hello Kitty Uno together. She sets some files down on the table and takes a seat.)
M: Hey guys, what’s happening?
Tempest: Nothing much. We’re all behaving ourselves.
Deangelo: Except Melanie.
M: Oh lord, what did you do now?
Dominick: We were all playing Tomb Raider, having a perfectly pleasant time when Melanie flipped out on all of us and broke the controller.
Jarred: She got really angry and shouted a lot.
Melanie: Well, I wouldn’t have flipped out if everyone wasn’t yelling at me to look over there, no go back and look at that tree, oh wait, what was that over there? Go check it out. I mean, come on, it was getting old.
Kalinda: You didn’t have to break the controller though. You know we only have 4. Now we can’t play Brain Party together.
Tempest: You know, Mel, aggression is sometimes a sign of sexual frustration.
Melanie: Oh please, if that was true, Dominick would have broken everything in the satellite.
(Dominick shrugs, then realizes that everyone is looking at him.)
Dominick: I’m not frustrated!
Gwen: I think that perhaps all of this MiSTing is causing us to be more irritable.
Deangelo: That could be true. I’m always in a foul mood after we MiST.
Jarred: But you’re usually in a foul mood. Except when you’re with Gwen. Then you’re a big love bug! (^_^)
M: Well, if you’re unhappy, you could always take it up with your union leader.
Kalinda: Yeah right, every time we try to do that it horribly, horribly backfires.
M: I guess then there’s nothing to do but accept your fate and make the best of it.
Gwen: Yes, you would say that.
Melanie: What do you have for us this week, M?
M: Nothing you guys can’t handle. (She opens her files and glances over them.) It’s a pretty short story about a boy sent from Hades to kill people.
Jarred: Well that sounds very unpleasant.
M: It’s mostly nonsensical, but there is a certain underlying unpleasantness to it.
Dominick: Hey, after we MiST can we have pizza?
(The other MiSTers turn and stare at Dominick.)
Dominick: What? I’m just trying to look on the bright side of things. We get food after we MiST and I want pizza today.
Melanie: You want pizza every day.
Dominick: Well, that’s true.
M: We can have pizza. Come along kids, we’ve got to get MiSTing.
Deangelo: (Deadpan.) Yay…..
(The MiSTers shuffle into the MiSTing theatre and are about to sit down when they discover that everyone has a bag of popcorn in their seat and a large soda in their drink holder.)
Jarred: Hey look! Snacks! This is great!
Melanie: This makes me wonder if this MiST is going to be particularly heinous and M is trying to butter us up.
Gwen: The MiSTs are always heinous. It’s getting very difficult to draw a line.
M: (From the control room.) Is everybody ready?
M: (From the control room.) Here we go!
>Heart Of ICARUS
Dominick: Hey, wasn’t Icarus the dude that flew too close to the sun?
Gwen: Yes, Icarus and his father, Daedalus, attempted to elude King Minos by crafting wings out of feathers and wax. Daedalus warned Icarus not to fly too close to the sun, but being a teenager, Icarus didn’t listen and perished because of it. The story of Icarus is often associated with arrogance or failure.
Deangelo: Why do I get the sudden feeling that this title is going to become very meta?
>He Pleases Their Annhilation
Tempest: Uh… Well… At least he knows how to please someone.
>0false18 pt18 pt00falsefalsefalse
Kalinda: What in the world is that?
M: (From the control room.) I think the author copy and pasted the story some kind of document and didn’t remove some of the extra formatting that was transferred over.
Jarred: But if they typed the story in some kind of word processing software than that means that they would have been able to spell check and grammar check and this story won’t be a complete butchering of the English language.
M: (From the control room.) I didn’t say THAT.
>*note* this chapter is in Remy’s point of view, enjoyy
>Hades: Get out and kill them, my son, for you have nothing to lose
Tempest: No way! Hades? Really? This will be interesting. And by interesting I mean, horrific.
>Remy: Okay, master, yes sir, he looked at me with pride in his eyes, like I was very special, like I was his own son
Melanie: Of course, Hades didn’t actually have a son. Persephone kept having babies but he was so evil that he ended up eating them before they could walk.
>He then slowly came forward and put a amulet on my neck, it glowing in the dim light.
Dominick: It’s the millennium ring!
Kalinda: You’ve been watching too much Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged.
Dominick: True. But it DOES look like the millennium ring.
>Hades: I wish you success.
>I bowed down and left the chamber, in which I had been.
Gwen: Actually, Hades dislikes any of his subjects to leave the underworld. So yes, we’re not really delving into actual mythology. Just a teenager’s misconstrued ideas of it.
Tempest: Artistic license?
Gwen: If you’re going to appropriate known characters then change everything recognizable about them then you’re better off creating new characters entirely.
>I was sent into the world for one thing, and only one thing.
>For their annihilation
Jarred: Well, that’s not very nice. Remy isn’t going to make any friends at that rate.
>And I left for the human world, not looking back even once.
>I was to turn into a normal boy and go to a normal high school, and kill.
Melanie: What? Why would you bother going to school if your mission is to kill people? How does this make any sense?
>*First day of high school*
>Teacher: Class, this is Remy, and he will be joining us, Remy, won’t you tell us where you are from?
Deangelo: (Remy.) The underworld.
Gwen: (Teacher.) Uh, where exactly?
Deangelo: (Remy.) Across the River Styx. You can’t miss it.
>Remy: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUISINESS!
Kalinda: Really? This kid is going to yell and swear at a teacher? I hope he can carry out his plan to slaughter people in detention.
>Teacher: Um… okay then, why don’t you go sit by Jena, over there?
Dominick: What?! Come on! The kid just said “fuck” and the teacher barely reacts. I used to get my ass thrown in detention for a whole lot less than that.
Jarred: I’m already getting the terrible feeling that this story is never going to even verge on realism. Not even a little bit.
>She gestured to a filthy desk, reeking of sweat, and gum, but that was the least of my concerns as of that moment,
Melanie: (Remy.) I realized that I hadn’t brought my lunch and was trying to decide which child to murder based on how much their pockets bulged.
>what caught my eye was a gorgeous goddess with a curvy body,
Tempest: (^-^) Oh stop, I’m getting embarrassed now.
Kalinda: Uh, Tempster, I think he is referring to his generic emo love interest.
>that made my black heart race, and made my pale, translucent skin flush with color.
Gwen: You know, from that opening I was very skeptical that this story was going to turn into a typical emo love story, but yet again, I am surprised.
>I turned away, just as she looked up, her beautiful eyes set on me,
>I could see in my peripheral vision, and it made me want to faint.
Jarred: It just goes to show that no matter how big and scary someone seems, they still experience the same uncertainty and nerves when faced with someone they love.
>I had no explanation for what I felt, but it was definitely new… as I made my way to my desk,
I felt twenty-two eyes on me.
Kalinda: There’s only 11 people in the class? Wow, not bad for a public school.
>Remy: Why the fucking hell are you staring at me, haven’t you ever seen a person before?
Dominick: Uh hello, Miss Teacher, are you going to do anything about this?
>I heard a few snickers, and I shot a death glare in that direction, and they instantly shut up.
Remy: That’s what I thought.
Dominick: Okay, I guess not.
Deangelo: I find this encounter rather surprising. I mean, the girl writing the story obviously goes to school, why would she think that someone could speak to a teacher like that and not be reprimanded? It makes no sense.
>I smirked and sat down. I also didn’t forget to put my feet on the desk…
>Ms. Wateva seemed to get the cue and shut up, and igored me.
Tempest: Because teachers are totally cool with you dropping the F-bomb in their classrooms as many times as you like.
>The day went like that, I killed a couple of asses, and all that usual shit
Gwen: He killed people? What? What is going on here? Did no one notice that a few kids were missing or did Remy just decapitate them in front of the principal only to have her tell him not to make such a mess before going back to her normal duties?
>Did you guys like it???
>I need 3 comments at least on how it was, it was a little short, but…
>the rest will bee longer, i promise. This one was on remy’s pov, and the next will be on jena’s
Melanie: Oh good, maybe Jena can shed some kind of light onto this confusing story.
>I also need a name for a guy and girl, so if you could comment and suggest one, that would rocc!
Jarred: Jarred is a good name for a guy. As for a girl, Cheryl is always nice.
>Damn, I need More Coffee!
Kalinda: I hear you.
>Uggh, school, damn…
>Today was just like any other day… except… him, so mysterious; so bold… so intimidating… so sexy
Melanie: Yeah, the way he totally disrespected that teacher? That was hot.
>Wait, what am I thinking??? I have a boyfriend… uggh, I need coffee
Tempest: Yeah, coffee will keep you faithful.
>I got up and changed into a Alesana tee, and Etf hoodie I paired it up with neon red
skinnies, ripped with worn out denim converse hi-tops.
Deangelo: But is she wearing mascara? What about eyeliner? Is her hair up in a ponytail or did she tease it up? Please, story, I must know!
>Ooh, I look gudd,
>Yes you do, yes you do, said a mysterious, brilliant, yet sharp and soothing voice
Melanie: Holy crap, Remy has snuck into her bedroom?
>I turned around in shock, terror filling my thoughts, suddenly expecting…
>But no one was there
Melanie: Or maybe not.
>I thought i was the sane one of the family
>Double uggh, I mentally said, now I really need some coffee
Gwen: Yes, yes, coffee will solve all of your problems.
>I ate a huge breakfast and headed out after the usual eyeliner and hair wax with teasing,
Deangelo: That’s great! Now I feel truly involved in the story. Thank you, story, for making me feel included.
>i love my style, no wonder everyone else is jealous.
Dominick: Well, she certainly doesn’t suffer from low self-esteem, does she?
>So hot, so sophisticated, so … you get the point, right?
Melanie: There’s nothing sophisticated about a pair of worn out Converse.
>As I put in my iPod, I let all thoughts slip me, as the beautiful voice of Craig Mabbitt filled my suddenly ravenous ears.
Jarred: M, who is Craig Mabbitt?
M: (From the control room.) He’s the lead singer for the band Escape the Fate. He also has snake bite piercings and looks like he might steal your purse.
>You are so beautiful,
> You are the kind of girl
>, That has the chemicals,
> That makes me fall in love,
> Difficult, so very difficult,
Dominick: Yep, writing your own story is very difficult. That’s why you have to pad it out with other people’s writing.
> You are the kind of girl that makes me fall in love
>FALL IN LOOOOOOVEEEEE
> I sigh, as I think about my beautiful boyfriend, and his charming personality
Melanie: (Jena.) And the way he handles a razor blade. Sheer poetry.
>How much I loved him, how much I need him, but as I persisted, my thoughts trailed off to… to… himm…FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Tempest: Yeah, because he’s so very captivating. I mean, all of that stuff he does that no one explained or even alluded to. It’s just so sexy.
>damn, I need to get that guy out of my head, he seemed like a real player.
Deangelo: A real player who’s going to murder you.
>Today, the music talent group rehearsals, I really wanted to try out, no one could stop me, I was suddenly stoked.
Kalinda: No, not even proper punctuation could stop her.
>As I thought about the musical talent show, all thoughts left my mind, I had decided what song I was going to sing.
Jarred: Something emo, but not too emo. Just emo enough to show the hardcore emoness inside and allude to even more emoness under the surface.
>Apology. By. Alesana. I really loved them. They were my all time favorites.(4 me in real life)
Melanie: Oh look, the blatant SI and the author have something in common. Amazing!
>As I skipped into school, I kissed my boyfriend on the cheek and all that stuff,
>and I frowned when I sensed other guys getting jealous, I shot them death glares…
Gwen: Really? So she is also so attractive that all other young men are jealous of her boyfriend? Does she have a pleasant singing voice as well?
>My boyfriend, for once smirked, proudly.
Dominick: (Jena’s boyfriend.) Heh heh, my girlfriend’s pretty.
>That, I am not going to let slide.
Kalinda: So it’s not okay that her boyfriend smirked? What?
>Then Ms. Baeche, or as I like to call it, ms. Bitchy came and gave us lunch detention for pda… I wanted to kill her.
Tempest: Wow, she already has something in common with the new love of her life.
>Why are teachers mother fuckers?
Deangelo: It’s a job requirement. Whenever someone applies for a teaching job, right after the basic information is the question “Are you a motherfucker?” Anyone who answers no is immediately rejected.
>You know what they say, those who are totally useless in the world, and have no life… Teach
Melanie: No, they call a person who is totally useless in this world an It Girl.
Dominick: A person who has no life is a MiSTer.
>Then, I saw something that made my heart sink. Girls. Flirting. With. HIM…
>But…I DO NOT CARE, but… I kinda did.
Jarred: I know most girls are supposedly attracted to bad boys, but he’s rude and he kills people. What part of that makes him an eligible bachelor?
Tempest: I don’t know. I wouldn’t date the guy.
Dominick: Of course not, he’s too young…. Oh wait.
>Did you guyz like it? I don’t need more comments this time, but please leave a couple, telling me your five song:)
Kalinda: Hmmm, if I had to pick one Five song, I would have to pick “Mr. Z”. It’s just so poppy and fun!
Melanie: I don’t think that’s what she meant.
Kalinda: That’s what she wrote. What’s your Five song?
Melanie: “When The Lights Go Out”.
>I will give you guys credit for it. Is it getting boring?
Deangelo: It has also devolved into emo drama. Sad to say, I was actually getting excited that this story might be something other than the usual, boy meets girl, girl cuts herself, boy and girl live happily ever after. But alas….
>If you are starting not to like it, make sure to tell me…
MiSTers: We don’t like it.
Gwen: Although, technically we didn’t like it to begin with.
>It is about 3:30
Melanie: …. Okay. (Checks her watch.) It’s 5:30 here. What’s the weather like where you are?
>and… yeah, I really wanted 2 rite. Love you all… But please rate… getting low in stars
Dominick: It’s always stars.
>This one is in jena’s point of view, I think that the next one will be in her point of view too…
Jarred: You know, for someone who is supposed to be on a mission to kill people, Remy doesn’t seem to be doing a very good job. I know it said earlier that Remy killed people, but no one seemed to notice. I mean, seriously, some people drop dead and no one even talks about it?
>When Dinosaurs Still Exist xD
>Jena’s point of view
Gwen: Now we’re dragging dinosaurs into this story? Let them rest in peace.
>My heart sunk, and I felt heat rise to my face.
>Seeing him being surrounded by all of these girls… that kind of hurt.
Kalinda: Yeah, it must be tough having a boyfriend and being secretly in love with a new kid that swears at teachers.
>Then something really nerve-striking happened. He looked straight at me, and smirked.
>That is when I snapped out of it, and started to dislike him. He was such a player, such a jerk.
Deangelo: So she fell in love with him for no reason and now she’s out of love with him for smirking at her? Just how sensitive is this child?
>My daydreams were cut off by a raspy announcement,
Melanie: (Announcement.) If someone has misplaced an earring, please come to the main office to claim it.
>”Talent show auditions, it is now or never, all students who wish to participate in this wonderful event must meet me in the auditorium at 9:30 sharp. No levy will be granted for late submissions.”
Gwen: Leeway, perhaps?
>Remy’s point of view
>Uggh, first class, now is my time to shine.
Dominick: (Remy.) He he, swearing at people makes me super smart and cool!
>The teacher was short, fat, and looked when she was a million years old. Seriously lady, time for a facelift.
Deangelo: So charming. I can see why all of the girls are in love with him.
>Teacher: Class, please get out your textbooks to page nine, and please start reading and annotating.
Tempest: Little did they know, the chapter they were reading was on evolution.
Gwen: A heated argument broke out between creationists and evolutionists and the entire class ended up in science brawl to the death. Which ironically ended up being yet another example of Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest.
>Everyone immediately took their textbooks out and obeyed, what a bunch of pussies. Damn, I need some music… Ooh, I like your hair by Scotty Vanity, sounds pretty good.
Melanie: Hey, everyone realizes that the only way Remy could know about that music would be because he’s heard it before, in the land of the dead.
Dominick: (Nodding.) So that means that emo music IS the type of music that plays in hell!
>Damn, she was stupid, I had my iPod up on full blast,
Gwen: They have iPods in hell too, apparently.
>and she kept checking her cell phone to see if it was ringing. By now, the whole class was ROTFL, but maintained an effort to keep it down, and quiet.
Kalinda: Rolling on the floor laughing isn’t something you can really keep quiet.
>She was such a dimwit, so I decided to spice the class up a bit.
Tempest: Remy takes out a knife and stabs the kid sitting next to him.
>Jena’s point of view.
>I was trying so fucking hard not to laugh out, but damn, he was making it so hard.
Deangelo: I feel as though I’m missing something. Is playing an iPod really that funny?
>I was just about to bust one when suddenly I saw his hand go up…
>Teacher: Yes, Remy, she smiled at him sweetly, still not realizing that he had his iPod plugged in his ears.
M: (From the control room.) This next part gets a little confusing. According to the color coded text, Remy says the first line, then the teacher speaks, then no one says the third line, then Remy talks again. However, this makes no sense because the first three lines are song lyrics. Song lyrics that the teacher would most likely not be familiar with. So I’m going to assume the Remy says everything. As the alternative isn’t logical.
Deangelo: Of course, that’s taking a big leap in thinking that anything in this story should be logical.
M: (From the control room.) The change will make these four lines make sense, not the entire story.
>These were the exact words that he said, and I quote,
>Remy: You’re such a slut,
>But I like your cut…
>I do mah own damn hair, pshyeah…
Tempest: So what song is that?
M: (From the control room.) Scotty Vanity. He’s a YouTube artist that makes up these little songs that are mostly inane and makes amateurish videos to go along with them.
>Remy: YOU GOT A FUCHING PROBLEM WITH THAT?! He screamed the last part on the top of his lungs.
Kalinda: Yeah, I’m sure the teacher will leap into action by telling him not to be naughty.
>By now the whole class was in tears laughing.
>Teacher: GET OUT, YOUNG MAN!
Melanie: Is she putting him in time out? What the fuck?
>Remy: GET OUT MY ASS, BITCH
Tempest: You really can’t get in someone’s ass then order them to get out of yours. It doesn’t work like that…
>Teacher: I SAID, GET OUT, she tried a weak attempt to shove him out.
Dominick: Come on, teach, bitch slap that kid!
>Remy: NO, GRANDMA, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NEXT, BITE ME WITH YOUR FALSE TEETH???
Deangelo: I’m sure the rest of the class has already elected him homecoming king by now.
>Teacher: I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>The whole class was like 0_0
Gwen: Yes, a teacher with that many years of experience under her belt isn’t going to be able to handle one little pustule. That’s believable.
>Remy: Excuse meh? Said Remy, raising an eyebrow, I am sorry, Miss, but I am going to have to report you, for explicit language…
MiSTers: (-_-;;;;) ….. Yeah…..
Kalinda: Doesn’t he even have enough self-awareness to realize that she could report him for the exact same thing? Not to mention that he started the entire argument.
>eww, and bad breath, he proclaimed, holding his nose, and pretending to choke.
>Wh-wh??? She stuttered.
Deangelo: No, it seems that none of these characters have any self-awareness at all.
>The bell just rang, and I got up and left a deeply shocked teacher… I bet that she hadn’t seen that type of behavior, when she was young, when dinosaurs still existed xD
Melanie: Nooooo, why Remy just invented the F-word. She had never heard it before in her life. As for his behavior, up until then, every single person she had ever come in contact with had treated her with nothing put the upmost care and respect. In all her years of teaching no student had ever talked back to her at all.
>I know this is kinda late ^^”’ Sorry! I was going to post this Thursday/Friday, but I was kinda busy. I need at least 3 comments!
MiSTers: (Brandishing their middle fingers.) Here’s our comment!
>How Could I? (CH 4, part 1)
M: (From the control room.) Now, here’s something I don’t get. Emo love story writers will sometimes make chapters that have individual parts to them. Why not just make them entirely new chapters? All of the chapter parts I’ve seen, have nothing that binds the parts together that would make sense to keep them as their own chapter.
Jarred: But that would require their formatting to follow some kind of logic. And if none of the story makes sense, then why would the chapter separation?
M: (From the control room.) Touché.
>Remy’s Point of view
>Okay, I just have fuckin outdone mahself,
Dominick: (Remy.) Hur, hur, I swore at someone! I’m so devastatingly witty!
>Ms. oldjoy was just looking at me with wide eyes,
>so wide that i thought that they were gonna pop out of her sockets.
Deangelo: Wouldn’t it be more in line with his mission if he just killed her? Why does he need to insult her?
>but why did i do it What did i want out of that
Jarred: That would be nice to know.
>More importantly, who did i want out of that
Tempest: He’s trying to get some pussy by insulting a teacher? Dude, there are much, much better ways to get pussy.
>i was so sidetracked that the next thing that i knew-
Jarred: (Remy.) I had wandered into home economics and discovered a way to channel my rage and frustrations into knitting beautiful sweaters.
>”ouch fuck, watch it, you motherfucker”
>i yelled out, and shoved whoever who bumped into me out of the way, slamming them HARD into the lockers,
Melanie: Little did Remy know, he had just bumped into the school’s police officer who retaliated by shooting Remy in the head repeatedly.
>i got up with disgust, dusting myself, not bothering to look back until… until i heard frail little beautiful sobs,
Kalinda: It turns out, Remy slammed a kitten into the lockers.
>Oh, fuck godd, please. don’t. be. who. I. Think. It. Is.
>coming from right behind me and saw HER with eyes pressed shut.
Deangelo: Well, he has her down, might as well finish the job.
>damn, I thought we were cool, god
>blood dripping in her eyes, her beautiful eyes,her body shaking, soft like a feather, soft, weakly, so weakly…
Melanie: Clearly, Remy is actually a Super Saiyan who slammed her into the lockers so hard she now has internal injuries.
>My eyes were wide, and my so called ‘heart’ had such a heavy feeling,
>something different from hate and revenge, something different from cruelty
Jarred: Love! He was overtaken by pure love and from that point on gave up his horrible life of murder and mayhem and became the sweetest man who ever lived.
>Before i knew it, small beads of clear liquid started to come, pouring out of my eyes,
Dominick: Because going over and helping her up would be too proactive. Just sit there and cry about it. Baby steps, Remy. Baby steps.
>how could iω How could i hurt her Out of all of the fuckin people in the world, how could iω
I wanted to end my existance at the very sight of her bleeding frail body,
Gwen: Is he really having a complete character change now? What happened to him killing people and being a subject of Hades? Where is this fragile emo boy coming from?
>but i knew that if i just stood there, she would die so i rushed, and when i say rushed,
>i mean stole a ferrari, and ran red lights (i even stuck my middle finger out at a cop),
Kalinda: The cop just smiled at him and wished him well.
>and crashed into about 39 other cars… too bad, their loss, i needed to get her to the hospital.
Melanie: Okay, first off, you can’t get into that many traffic accidents, speed and give a cop the good old one finger salute and not even get pulled over. Second of all, he just slammed her into some lockers and she needs an emergency trip to the hospital? How frail is this girl?
>Heyyyyy guyzz sorry that it is short and late 😦 u probabaly hate me for it.
Tempest: Yeah, yeah we do.
>I need at least three comments to go onn. Sorry, i couldn’t write more… i am on vacation, and am trying mah best to continue 🙂
>Luv ya all, pleeseee rate toooo
Deangelo: It makes me wonder why the author bothered setting up that whole back story for Remy when she seems to have totally abandoned it and turned this into yet another sappy emo love story.
>Ummm… What just happened? (Ch. 4, part 2)
Kalinda: I have been wondering that exact same thing this entire time.
>(Pt 2 is a mini-chapter written in Jenavie’s point of view)
Jarred: Jenavie? What kind of name is that?
Gwen: I wonder if it’s some kind of horrific butchering of “Genevieve”.
>Damn, he had just outdone himself, infact, he had just outdone everyone else in the school,
that was effin awesome.
Dominick: Okay, I’m the first one to say that I think swearing is hilarious, but come on! It didn’t take any wit or intelligence to come up with what he said to that teacher. Insult comics don’t just call people grandma and swear a lot.
Melanie: I know, I can’t believe how the author is going on and on about that kid cursing out the teacher. It’s not even mildly amusing let alone so hysterical we need to hearken back to it constantly.
>I was just laughing to myself about that when someone bumped into me,
>”Oww, watch it, you motherfucker!”
Gwen: You know, the first time we heard this story it never explicitly stated who Remy ran into.
Jarred: But Jena is the only other character who’s been introduced besides Hades, who is still in the underworld, by default it had to be her.
Gwen: True. But it would be nice if the author made it clear who she was talking about.
>They had screamed at me with distaste and shoved me hard into the flimsy lockers,
>not even giving a bother to look back at who they had just hurt.
Kalinda: I’m still a little skeptical that one shove caused this chick to become so injured she had to be rushed to the hospital or risk dying. Her bones must be made out of cheese.
>Usually when someone is hurt badly, it isn’t that bad because they are unconcious for most of the time,
Dominick: Not always. Besides, when you wake up you’re in more pain than ever.
Tempest: You know, the whole bones made out of cheese thing would explain a lot for emos. I mean, they’re always passing out when someone looks at them the wrong way. What if they got too hot and their bones were melting a little and that causes them to constantly black out?
>and usually don’t feel the pain, but fuck me, I could feel everything that was going on!
>I started to sob, helplessly.
>It was like I couldn’t do anything whatsoever but cry.
Deangelo: Which is what most emos feel like.
>Apparently that made the fucking bastard who shoved me finally turned around, because I >heard him scream, “Fuck!”
Tempest: Is this really the event that’s going to cement their relationship?
>Suddenly, I was in the arms of someone unfamiliar.
>They were running really fast, and suddenly i felt likie I was in a car
Melanie: She was too weak from blood loss to actually be aware of her surroundings.
>Then, I blacked out.
Dominick: Blacked out like an emo!
>This wasn’t supposed to happen (Chapter 4 part 3)BONUS
Kalinda: Bonus? How is anything in this story a bonus?
>A BONUS PART, FOR THE PEOPLE WHO LIKE MYTHOLOGY, THIS PART IS DEDICATED TO THEM<3
Gwen: Isn’t that sweet? I like mythology, so this section is all mine.
Tempest: You are welcome to it, Gwen.
>This is told in Hades’s point of View.
>Hello, i am Hades,the god of the underworld, I am cruel, clever and witty.
Melanie: He sounds like he’s auditioning for The Real World.
Deangelo: I think Hades would be a wonderful addition to the cast. Imagine the fun they could have with the god of the underworld living with them.
>As been mentioned previously, Remy is an icarus who is a very faithful follower to me.
Dominick: Wait, I thought Icarus was a dude’s name.
Gwen: It IS a dude’s name. I believe the author has redefined the word to suit her purposes. Which doesn’t make any sense. If you’re going to use mythology, then by all means use it. Don’t rearrange everything about it and act like it’s going to appeal to people who even have a casual knowledge.
>He has a heart made out of stone, despite his attractive features.
>He is my favorite, out of all of my followers, due to his strength, and obedience towards me.
Jarred: He always gets the best Christmas bonus, too.
>ANyways, I was watching him from hell, and this truly pissed me off.
>HE SEEMED TO BE FALLING IN LOVE!
Melanie: Well, what do you expect when you introduce a teenager to hot, young tail for the first time?
>I could read his thoughts,
>and all of them were focused on that girl, Jenavie or some shit like that.
Kalinda: Wow, I can totally imagine Hades, Lord of the Underworld, saying “shit like that”. It just suits his character so well.
>I had to admit that she was attractive, but he shouldn’t, out of everyone in the world, shouldn’t fall in love.
Deangelo: Then why is he? Is Remy even human? Is he a soul that has passed on or is he something different? Even the most basic explanation would be helpful.
>This drew my line… i was going to talk to him.
>It was going to be either me or her, Remy was gonna have to choose.
Dominick: Never try to come between a boy and his hot, young tail. You will not win.
>I had to admit that i was scared,
>and i knew exactly why.
>He might choose her instead of me.
Jarred: Come on, Dominick, do you really think that Hades, the closest thing Remy has to a father, is going to lose out to some girl he just met?
Dominick: I guess we’ll have to see, but I think the hot, young tail is going to come out ahead. No pun intended.
>d you like thatω
Gwen: I most certainly did not. And what’s with the “ω”? Where did that even come from?
>I am not gonna ask for comments this time, but it would be nice if you would answer this question…
Tempest: Is avoiding visible panties lines worth the risk that you might trip and show the world your va-jay-jay?
>SHOULD I WRITE MORE ABOUT THE TALENT SHOW< OR SHOULD I DITCH THAT IDEA FOR GOODωω
Melanie: Uh, ditch it? It didn’t seem that interesting to begin with and the last thing I want to do is sit and MiST a bunch of emo song lyrics.
>0false18 pt18 pt00falsefalsefalse
Jarred: Yeah… Exactly.
>WHY IS HE SOOO CONFUSING?
Melanie: Because he’s a dude and it’s hardwired into his genetics.
>This Chap is in Jena’s point of view.
>Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep
>Uggh What the Fuck is that annoying Noise?!,
Kalinda: Oh no! If she’s so delicate that being slammed into lockers mortally injures her then the sound of a heart bleep machine will certainly kill her!
>I said in my Head. Wait, where am I? I opened my eyes, uggh, and blurriness!
>I came to, and saw someone sitting on a chair with his head resting on me.
>It was an emo kid.
Jarred: He was sent over by the emo outreach program.
> I called out, thinking that it was my boyfriend.
Dominick: Hey look, her boyfriend’s name is Shadow. That’s the first time we’ve heard that.
> Suddenly, I felt a sharp twinge in my side.
Gwen: (Jena.) I looked down to see that I was in a full body cast and was unable to move.
> I whimpered, and the head shot up. There I saw, the person I least expected to see, his hair messy, his face as white as ever, his eyes shimmering with moist.
> It was Remy.
Tempest: You know, this reveal isn’t quite as exciting when you already know the information.
Dominick: ZOMG, it’s Remy! Can we move on now?
> I blinked to make sure that it wasn’t just some crazy dream,
Deangelo: Sometimes I like to pretend that these MiSTs are nothing but crazy dreams. Alas, they never are.
>and as he saw me, a heartbreaking smile spread across his beautiful face, which had me hyperventilating. His Dark eyes, vulnerable and sincere for the first time.
Melanie: (Jena.) It almost made me forget that he had tried to kill me.
> It was more of a brief statement rather than a question.
>Then, Abruptly, his face became furious.
Deangelo: He spotted a defenseless bunny out of the window and was overcome a rage that could only be satisfied by snapping its neck.
>I was horrified by his sudden change of mood, his beautiful smile, engraved in my head.
>I then realized that he was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen.
Tempest: Damn. She is going to be cheating on her boyfriend before the chapter is over.
>”Umm, why are you here?”
> I asked, trying to hide my scorching curiosity.
Gwen: Yes. Scorching.
>I watched Him as his face suddenly turned hard, but then became the slightest bit brooding.
“I’m Sorry Jenavie,”
Melanie: (Remy.) Sorry I nearly killed you by slamming you into a locker. I would like to gently place my hand on your shoulder if that wouldn’t be too dangerous in your condition.
> He said, not meeting my eyes, and then… He was gone before another word uttered out of my mouth.
Dominick: Wow, he peaced out quickly.
Jarred: He probably doesn’t want to stick around for when she remembers that he shoved her.
>”All right, maam, do you think you are well enough to leave?”
> Asked the nurse impatiently.
Kalinda: Seriously. This girl almost died today! I mean, she was slammed into lockers. Lockers, I tell you! She needs to stay in the hospital for at least a week.
>”Yeah… I think I’ll check out,”
>I said rubbing my head. She looked at me questionly, but apparently didn’t care enough to ask.
Gwen: Good thing no one bothered to call Jena’s parents.
>I just pushed that away and sunk into my world.
> I didn’t know… Something about him wasn’t normal.
Deangelo: His desire to kill all living creatures, for example.
> His speed for instance was super sonic, and his looks could win any girl he wanted, maybe even the great seductive Cleopatra.
Melanie: Uh, first of all, she’s dead. Second of all, is inbreeding really that hot?
>I really needed time to think about what was currently happening in my life***
Jarred: Maybe she should think about why she’s so fragile that one slam endangers her life.
>Hoped you liked it. One more thing, YOU SEEM TO BE FUCKING HATING MY CONTEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tempest: What contest?
M: (From the control room.) I’m not sure what she’s talking about here. I thought she might be referring to her requests for a boy’s and girl’s name to use in the story, but I’m not positive.
>YOU GUYZ ARE MEANIES, BUT STILL, I WUVZZ YOU, SO, I PUT UP X-TRA CHAPTERS… ILUVVVVV YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL BYEZZZ…
Gwen: Another mythology chapter that has nothing to do with accurate mythology?
>This chap is still in Jena’s point of view… Enjoy.
Dominick: So she IS going to break up with Shadow. Interesting.
Melanie: You’d think that almost dying would have gotten her sent home for the day or something.
>but the thing was that I had him on my mind, and school seemed like a pleasure at the moment. Anything to see his beautiful face.
Tempest: You know, if you’re going to have two characters fall in love, you could actually have some scenes where they interact together. I mean, in this story Jena and Remy haven’t even spoken except when he apologized to her. How exactly are these two in love if they haven’t even had a single conversation?
Jarred: Well, emo loves knows no bounds or logic.
>Suddenly, a terrifying thought crept up into my mind and it was
Kalinda: (Jena.) Did I have enough product in my hair?
Gwen: Is she really going to break up with him over her non-relationship with Remy? That seems to be jumping the gun a little.
>Him, what was I going to do? I mean, I was really falling for Remy.
> I have to end it with Shadow. A terrible thought crept into my mind.
Kalinda: (Jena.) Do the rips in my fishnets look intentional or like I was dragged through a hedge?
> Two years.
>Such a long time, but I.. I had to break it, or else I am going to end up breaking it in a worse, more painful way.
Deangelo: She is really going to break up with her boyfriend of two years to date someone she hasn’t even known two days? Great idea. Just great.
> A tear came to my eye, as I reached the school building.
>There I saw Remy, and Raven…
Jarred: Uh, who’s Raven?
>I started getting into hysterics because Raven was Desperately trying to flirt with Remy, and Remy looked even more annoyed by the second.
Melanie: Random emo chick?
>Too bad for him, she didn’t understand his cues.
>That is what he deserves for leaving me hanging like that.
Kalinda: If we recap for a second, we’ll discover that Jena decided that she didn’t like him because he smirked at her, then he slammed her into some lockers and suddenly, they’re in love again.
Gwen: Well, that makes about as much sense as any other emo love story.
>On my way to first period, I saw Shadow. His cute face brightened when he saw me.
>”Heyyy, Jenaaa, sit here babe!”
Tempest: Uh oh, she’s going to crush his heart and throw it in the trash now.
>I sat by him, and tried to hide my horror.
>I looked at the time. We still had fifteen minutes until class started.
Dominick: (Jena.) Better make this a quick kicking to the curb.
>Look, Shadow, I need to tell you something.
Deangelo: What happened to the names, M?
M: (From the control room.) The author gave up on color coded text at this point. She starts using quotation marks in a little bit though. Just do the best you can.
>He looked at my serious expression, and his face glinted of worry.
>Man, he really cared about me.
Melanie: Yeah, makes it even more ridiculous that you want to break up with him to go out with a guy that insults teachers and smirks at you.
>I Had to do it though.
>”Look, I really like you… but I think that I am in love with another person, so to avoid major broken hearts, I have to end it with you.”
Kalinda: You know, she could have broken it to him a little easier. I mean, it’s bad enough he’s getting dumped, now he knows that he’s not good enough for her and she’s found someone who is.
>Hearing this, shadow’s face crumpled and fell like a wilted flower. He was a jewel… I really loved him, but not in that way… anymore.
Dominick: You know, if this wasn’t an emo love story I’d say that the odds of her actually getting with Remy are so low that she would have been better off with Shadow. But this is an emo love story and we all know that Remy and Jena are madly in love and they will live together happily, giving birth to a million emo children before they die in each other’s arms.
>”I am sorry, but I hope this won’t affect our bond that we had.”
Jarred: (Shadow.) It won’t affect the bond at all, you moody cow. I mean, Jena.
>He just nodded, and sat down.
>His broken face haunted me for the rest of my day.
Gwen: How difficult for her.
>I. Felt. Horrible.
Kalinda: Don’t worry, Remy will be right there to make you feel better! You’ve already seen how understanding and supportive he can be. Right? Right?
>Heyyyy guyzz. I needed to make you all an xtra chapter…
Deangelo: No, no you don’t. You do not need to do that at all.
>Hope you enjoyed it. I need at least five comments this time… I got the chapter pre- written, soo… yeah peepz, get on it lol.
Melanie: Wow, that’s an even better threat. (Author.) I have the chapter right here, kids and you just can’t have it until you feed my ego. That’s right, comment away until I feel good enough about myself.
>The name Credits go to Bellz… I love your choice.
Gwen: Choice of what?
M: (From the control room.) I think this is referring to when the author asked for a guy’s name and a girl’s name, but I’m not sure. I looked through the reviews for this story and didn’t see anyone mention the names Raven or Shadow.
>I tried to push my thoughts away as I left for home.
>I knew three things.
Jarred: (Jena.) And they all revolved around lip gloss.
>1. Shadow really liked me
>2. I broke his heart
>3. I like someone else
>4. I like Remy
>5. He is too good for me.
Gwen: That’s 5 things, not 3 things. Good lord, doesn’t this author understand the difference between the two numbers?
>After I got home, I went to my bathroom and looked
>Who was I kidding?
Melanie: (Jena.) I’m just not emo enough to deserve a great love. Where’s my razor?
>”I’ll never have you,”
>I said on the verge of tears.
Deangelo: Every sentence doesn’t need to start a new paragraph.
Dominick: It’s strange that most emo love story authors write huge monster blocks of text where everything runs together, then we finally get one who doesn’t and she doesn’t know how to properly use paragraphs either.
>I heard an angelic voice say.
Gwen: Did Remy just burst in on her in the bathroom?
Kalinda: Remy forgot to mention that he had a key to every room in Jena’s house.
>I whirled around and gasped. Oh shit. It was Remy. As I recovered, my shock turned to fury. Did he think this was a joke? What the fuck? I frowned my teeth clenched together.
Tempest: So she broke up with her boyfriend of two years to be with this dude and now she’s going to go off on him? That’s not going to help her get into a relationship with him sooner.
Kalinda: I just want to know what the hell is Remy doing in her bathroom?
>”Why are you here?”
>I finally asked, trying to keep my cool.
>He smirked, “Why do you think?”
Dominick: He wants to watch her pee?
>This is when I completely lost my cool.
>”WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM? CAN YOU, FOR ONCE BE SERIOUS? I AM SO FUCKING PISSED…”
Melanie: Yeah, you made the right decision when you decided to go after that dream boat. You just get along with him so well. It’s amazing.
>I cut myself off, realizing that i looked stupid.
Gwen: She JUST realized this?
>”Please, why are you here?”
>I repeated, now fighting the verge of tears.
Deangelo: Ah yes, her crying will definitely solve her problem.
>”I am here because I need to tell you that…” he trailed off.
>he finally asked, his eyes scorching.
Gwen: This girl truly has no idea how to use the word “scorching” correctly, does she?
>”Do you have feelings for me?”
Dominick: Come on, girl, claim your sexy man! Get this horrible story over!
>”Uuhhhh… “I said, stalling.
>Comment please 🙂
Jarred: I was going to ask if there is going to be some actual character development between the two lovers in the next chapter, but then I remembered that this is an emo love story and there’s no such thing. That made me sad.
Gwen: Yes, that statement completely deserved every word in it to have its own paragraph.
>I could feel my face turning red as I prepared for my final, heartbreaking rejection.
>To my surprise, He kissed me!
Deangelo: (Deadpan.) Oh look, the two emo kids are getting together.
Others: (Deadpan.) Who would have guessed?
>His lips were soft on mine, as he pulled me closer to him.
>The kiss, to me, lasted forever, and I could feel the fireworks going in my head.
Melanie: The fireworks would have exploded in her brain but she didn’t have one, so they fizzled out and laid at the bottom of her skull.
>He liked me.
>I swear that I was going to pass out. He pulled away and smirked.
Dominick: Oh no, not a smirk! She realized she hated him after he smirked at her the first time. I believe their short, short relationship is over.
>”So… now I guess you are my girlfriend.”
Tempest: Oh please, if you had to date everyone you kissed I would have had more relationships than I could count.
Jarred: More than 20?
Tempest: If you didn’t cry like a girl, I would so kick your ass for that.
>He shrugged, indifferently. I punched him.
Kalinda: Well, that’s going to make him want to go out with her so much more.
>He chuckled, and I looked into his eyes.
Dominick: (Jena.) His eyes began to spin and change until they were two hypnotic disks. Before I knew it, I was on all fours with my tongue sticking out of my mouth, barking like a dog.
>As I looked into his eyes, it was like an open book into his heart.
>His beautiful eyes were smoldering as he stared at me intensely.
Jarred: He was scorching.
>”Alice,” he barely whispered.
>”I love you.”
Melanie: Alice? Who the hell is Alice? This chick’s name is Jena.
Deangelo: M, what’s going on?
M: (From the control room.) Honestly, I have no idea.
Deangelo: Thank you, that’s very helpful.
M: (From the control room.) Anything for you, D.
>My eyes widened and my heart jumped right out of my chest.
>He could see the obvious shock in my eyes, and he chuckled lightly.
Gwen: Obvious shock that he called her by the wrong name, that is.
>”Well, Alice?” he asked, now his beautiful eyes uncertain.
>I giggled and nodded shyly. Not exactly smooth.
Tempest: Dear lord, this girl is so far gone that she forgot what her own name is!
>”So… when is our first date?”
>” Umm, how ’bout Taco Bell?” He grinned,
Dominick: He came from the underworld and all he wants is Taco Bell?
>”Awesome, so how about tomorrow?”
>He looked at the time, “Oh SHIT, I gotta go!”
Kalinda: (Remy.) My stories are on!
>”See you, sexy.”
>He winked and left.
Melanie: (Jena/Alice.) Life is so good as Alice. I think I’ll stay this way.
>My life has taken the turn for the best.
>I have the sweetest, smartest, funniest, sexiest boy to myself, and all to myself.
Jarred: Uh, he’s not at all sweet. He’s done nothing to prove that he’s intelligent. If you count him swearing at a teacher like a child that just learned a bad word funny then I guess he’s funny. Otherwise you might want to rethink all of the qualities you just used to describe him.
>On that note, I fell fast asleep.
>That night, I dreamt about Remy. I saw him, surrounded by girls.
Dominick: Suddenly, they all flew backwards as if thrown by a very powerful wind. Jena looks at Remy and sees him with blood dripping from his mouth, holding two very large knives. Before she can ask him what he’s doing with the knives he races around the schoolyard slicing up the bodies of the fallen girls. He —
M: (From the control room.) Dominick….
Dominick: Just filling in the blanks!
>They were all over him, and one of them started to touch him.
>He touched back, and soon they were making out.
Tempest: Jena suddenly realized that she wanted to join in. Before she knew it they were all having an orgy right outside the principal’s office. After they finished they were all given lunch detention for PDA.
>I had tears in my eyes.
>I never thought he would be like that.
Jarred: It’s a sad day when you can’t trust someone that you don’t know.
>I jumped off a cliff.
Deangelo: Truly, she has heard my thoughts and acted on them.
>I woke up with a start.
Deangelo: So close, yet so far.
>I wiped my eyes, only to find tears in them.
>Could it be true? I thought.
Kalinda: Of course, it is. If you dream something, then it is real. Always. Now why don’t you go find a nice cliff?
>As I made my way to school, I saw girls. They were ALL OVER HIM.
>I gulped, forcing back tears, waiting for it.
Tempest: (Jena/Alice.) I watched in horror as his tongue explored all of their mouths in turn. I felt in my backpack for my razor.
>Then the strangest thing happened. He pushed them all away in disgust.
>My jaw dropped and I ran to him, leaping into his arms.
Jarred: However Remy wasn’t prepared for her to jump on him and they ended up toppling over. Remy hit his head on the concrete and blacked out. After a prolonged coma the doctors declared him a vegetable.
>”Hey there,” he chuckled. I giggled,
>and kissed him
Dominick: So is it safe to say that we have completely forgotten about Hades and Remy’s glorious mission?
Gwen: Yes, I think that is a safe assumption.
Dominick: What a great way to wrap up loose ends. Just don’t freaking mention anything about it again. Because it will just go away.
Gwen: It worked with the people that Remy allegedly killed.
>6 months later
>I was drinking a glass of juice, when Remy came in.
>He looked nervous.
Deangelo: Hades contacted Remy through a vision and reminded him that his health insurance policy lapsed as he’s no longer working for him.
>”What’s up?” I asked confused.
>”Will you- marry me?” he choked out.
Melanie: Whoa, did she get pregnant or something?
>My eyes widened, and I leapt into his arms.
>”YES!!!!!!” I screamed.
Kalinda: Weeeeeeee…. Now she can have an emo wedding where she walks down the aisle to a Avenged Sevenfold song and carries a bouquet of dead, black roses.
>You both lived happily. You had 5 kids together, and never fought.
Dominick: You never fought because Remy turned in his man card and from that point on let his wife tell him exactly what to do.
>You loved until your last breath, and shared it, telling him that you loved him.
>Please comment and rate
M: (From the control room.) Any final thoughts, kids?
Gwen: I feel this story has raised my hopes of it being different and even involving mythology then cruelly dashed them as this story is nothing of the sort. I feel betrayed.
Jarred: I’m still wondering who Alice is.
M: (From the control room.) Well, I’ve got dinner set up for you guys in the conference room. Let’s go eat!
Melanie: Yay, my favorite part of the MiST.
Deangelo: Technically, dinner afterwards isn’t part of the MiST at all.
Melanie: I’m trying to find an upside, D. Let me have my joy.
(The MiSTers are all seated at the conference room table gorging themselves on an Italian buffet when M walks in.)
Dominick: Hey there, little leopard!
M: Hey Dommie. So what did you guys think of the MiST?
Jarred: I think these MiSTs are steadily getting worse to the point where we will soon be MiSTing complete gibberish.
Melanie: Seriously. The only way these stories could get worse is if someone typed them by banging their head on the keyboard until their face was black and blue.
Gwen: I concur.
M: Well, we wouldn’t be MiSTing it if it was any good. But at least I’m not giving you guys Twilight fanfics to read or anything.
Deangelo: Yes, why haven’t you done that yet?
M: I haven’t found one that wasn’t a million pages. Even I couldn’t sit through one as incredibly long as they seem to always get.
Deangelo: I pray that you never find one that is an acceptable length.
Tempest: I wish you’d just give us a lemon with adults in it. I miss all of those lemony lemons.
M: Not a fan of the “he slowly shoved it in” lemons?
Tempest: I’m too old to be commenting on love scenes with kids in them. It’s just weird.
M: That’s true. Well, I’ve got to get going. But I will see you all soon.
Gwen: We will be eagerly awaiting your next visit, M.
Deangelo: Gwenavere, don’t lie.