MiST 83 – This Is Me

640x480M discovers a fan fiction so horrible she doesn’t let her MiSTers MiST it. Instead, she has a Dream songfic for them that is as inane as it is harmless. Will the MiSTers enjoy the preppy main character as she cheers at the big game or are her upbeat antics just too much to take? After MiSTing so many emo love stories how will they react when they are asked to MiST the emo’s biggest threat?

Want to know more about MiSTing? Read Star’s Guide to MiSTing and educate yourself.

Disclaimer:

I don’t own any copyrighted characters, series or songs. Which should be obvious, because I didn’t copyright them. I didn’t write the story being MiSTed. My intellectual property in this MiST is the witty remarks, my MiSTers, and the mad. My characters are used only with my permission.

This MiSTing is not a personal attack on the author. It’s an attack on their terrible writing. This is not meant to be even slightly constructive, instead it is meant solely for the amusement of others.

It’s important to learn to laugh at ourselves. Don’t take life too seriously.

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MiSTers!

Melanie Bryce – The real way to a man’s heart is through his stomach cavity.
Dominick Dante – I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
Gwenavere Donovan – Walk softly and carry a BlackBerry.
Jarred Zion – Strangers are just friends that you haven’t met!
Deangelo Desiderio – Grumpy is the only one of the seven dwarfs I understand.
Tempest Lucki – Hey, you’re cute. What are you doing after the MiST?
Kalinda Beckham – Yes, that’s right, I’m the only remotely normal person here.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(M is sitting in the conference room looking over a massive file of papers. Rosie is sitting in the chair next to her chewing on a rawhide. The MiSTers, who are all wearing their bathing suits, enter laughing and smiling.)

Deangelo: Hello, M. Would you like to join us for a pool party?
M: Nah, I’m good. Thanks though.
Jarred: You should come, M! The water’s great and we’re having a wonderful time.
Gwen: Yes, it’s very enjoyable. We just need to get some snacks before we continue swimming.
Tempest: Yeah, even though no one wants me to go topless, it’s still awesome.
Dominick: (Picking up a box of Girl Scout cookies from the snack bar.) What are you reading, M? We’re not going to have to do another MiST are we?

(The MiSTers groan.)

M: Well, you’re going to have to do another MiST at some point. But right now I’m reading a fanfic called My Immortal.
Melanie: Is it any good?
M: No, it’s terrible. It’s actually what a lot of people refer to as the worst fanfic of all time.
Kalinda: Wow, considering everything we’ve read, that’s saying something.
Melanie: Why is it so terrible?
M: First off, it’s supposed to be a Harry Potter fanfic, but the writer renames most of the characters and changes everything about them. The main character is a terrible Mary Sue that thinks she’s a hardcore Goth Satanist that spends most of her time worrying about her clothes. It’s besieged with current pop culture references that have no meaning in the Harry Potter world. Also, pop punk bands like My Chemical Romance and Good Charlotte all come to play in Hogsmeade, despite the fact that Hogsmeade is an all-wizard village and all of those bands consist of muggles. The author also threatens to discontinue the story if she doesn’t get enough positive reviews.
Jarred: Wow, that sounds like a truly awful fanfic.
M: Believe me, it is. I’m not even halfway through and I’ve already lost the will to live. One thing that fascinated me was that some people believe that this fic was written by a troll who did an all-out fantastic job of trolling.
Dominick: I don’t know, a lot of the description you gave us sounds like your average emo love story writer.
M: I know, that’s why it’s weird. The story is so bad that it’s almost too bad. I know we’ve faced horrific nonsense of all kinds before, but there’s something very suspect about it. Like instead of simply misspelling words sometimes the author substitutes similar sounding words. For example, she writes about the “Bark Lord”.
Gwen: The Bark Lord? Interesting.
M: There are some other instances where the misunderstanding is perfectly comical. Part of me thinks that it’s totally possible for a fanfic writer to actually be this bad, but another part of me thinks that the story is just too amusing to be real. But then the problem arises; if this story is fake then we will have to reevaluate all of our previous MiSTs, seeing as this fanfic has so much in common with the stuff we usually deal with.
Melanie: Weird. Well, back to the pool!
Dominick: Hey M, you don’t think that you’ll ever… you know, make us MiST that?
M: Believe me, Dominick, if I ever make you MiST this story you will all have done something very, very wrong.
Jarred: That’s enough of a threat to keep me on the straight and narrow!
Kalinda: Uh, Jarred? When are you not on the straight and narrow?
Jarred: Well, I mean, if I was ever considering venturing off I would remember what M said and I would get right back on it.
M: Good to know. By the way, you all have to MiST.

(The MiSTers groan.)

Gwen: But we were having such a good time!
Tempest: I was almost perfectly bronze, M!
M: You can have a good time after you MiST too.
Deangelo: But we’ll never quite get that moment back, will we?
M: You can get it back. Come on, everyone! I have snacks all ready for you in the MiSTing theatre.
Dominick: Well, at least that’s something to look forward to.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(The MiSTers file into the theatre to find each of their seats has a bucket filled with chocolate candy sitting on it.)

Kalinda: Sweet! Just what I need!
Melanie: I have to say, snacks make the MiSTs go faster.
Jarred: They do?
Melanie: Well, no, but I like to pretend.
M: (From the control room.) Is everyone ready?
Dominick: Hey wait! You didn’t tell us what kind of story we’re MiSTing.
M: (From the control room.) It’s a Dream songfic.
Gwen: Really? Amazing how many people wrote fan fiction about that group, considering their longevity.
Kalinda: Actually, there was some renewed interest in 2008 when their second album was released through iTunes. But not enough interest for them to get back together or anything.
M: (From the control room.) Is everyone ready?
MiSTers: No.
M: (From the control room.) Here we go!

>~THIS IS ME~

Jarred: Well, that’s an original title.

>(A/N Picture Jake as looking exactly like Ashley from O-Town and Jovi and extremely long >haired Gwen Stefani!)

Deangelo: Ashley from who?
Kalinda: O-Town, one of the boy band greats. They lasted about as long as Dream and were almost as popular.

>~~”She stole your heart
>Only did it because she could

Tempest: Then, once she had stolen his heart, she used him as an errand boy and a sex slave. It took him three months to figure out that that wasn’t a normal relationship.

>Chewed you up and spat you out
>That girl never was no good”~~

Melanie: You know, I kind of remember this song. I remember He Loves U Not more, but I can vaguely recall the chorus to this song.
Gwen: Well, pop music never really did stand the test of time.

>”So this is it?” Jake asked, searcing Britney’s eyes for something, anything that indicated feelings for him.

Deangelo: But Jake found himself staring into a dark abyss of sheer, incomprehensible lack of intelligence.

>”Yes Jake, it’s over. I’m sick and tired of this whole thing.”
>”What whole thing?”

Dominick: (Britney.) Your wife and your four kids. That whole thing! I thought I’d be okay with being your mistress, but I’ve had enough lonely nights and sneaking through the backdoor at restaurants so we’re not seen together. It’s OVER!

>”YOU! You’re too jealous, you smother me! I can’t take it anymore!” Britney cried.

Kalinda: Infuriated, Jake kidnapped Britney and locked her in his attic until he proved to her that he was in no way smothering or controlling.

>Suddenly Mark walked over, “Hey Britney! Ready to go-go-go?” Mark asked, putting his arm around her waist.

Melanie: (Britney.) Yeah, just wake me up first.

>”Oh so that’s how it is huh?” Jake shouted, “WHY DID I EVER DATE A SLUT LIKE YOU ANYWAY!!??!!” he shouted, and then stormed out of the school to his car.

Dominick: Jarred?
Jarred: (Sighing.) Hot, young tail.

>”Howdy stranger!” Jovi chirped,

Kalinda: Whoa! Where did she come from?

>”My mom’s car broke down so I was hoping you could give me a lift? I know it’s soooo out of your way.”

Gwen: Well, that’s convenient. Seconds after his girlfriend dumps him a potential girlfriend materializes in front of him.

>”Sure,” Jake shrugged.
>Jovi was Jake’s perky next door neighbor.

Tempest: She was perky in more ways than one.

>Her father, was the former agent for ACE OF BASE, and was a music buff. He even named his kids after rockstars,

Deangelo: Because sharing a name with a flash in the pan pop singer is in no way going to impact your future or your ability to get a job.

>Jovi, the youngest was named after Bon Jovi, and then came Olivia, after Olivia-Newton John, and Jackson was next, after the famous Jackson family, and then the oldest, the twins, Tyler and Bonnie both after Bonnie Tyler.

Gwen: But when you think about it, no matter what your name is, there’s usually a celebrity that shares it. For example, I share a name with Gwen Stefani.
Melanie: Yeah, like Melanie C and Melanie B from the Spice Girls.
Dominick: Dominic Monaghan.
Jarred: Jared Leto.
Tempest: Tempestt Bledsoe.
Deangelo: D’Angelo, the R&B singer.
Kalinda: And Kalinda… the… uh…
Gwen: Well, there is an exception to every rule.

>Even their middle names were rockstars, Jovi Ross (Diana Ross) Olivia Lennon (John Lennon) Jackson Billy (Billy Holidau) Tyler Ray-C (Ray Charles) and Bonnie Madonna (Madonna! Duh!).

Dominick: I’m really hoping that this all has a huge effect on the plot….

>Jovi’s family even looked like a rockstar, Jovi herself was tall
>and thin with shiny bleached-blonde hair that fell past her waist, and pale green eyes.

Kalinda: I would say that this is a nice change from the non-stop emo characters we’ve been dealing with, but I have a feeling that Jovi’s appearance has nothing to do with the story and is really just the author pampering their Mary Sue.

>She had a smile that could move mountains and wore fire-engine red lipstick and dressed like Gwen Stefani.

Melanie: Nice to know she has her own style and all.

>Today she wore an orange spaghetti strap shirt that read “Rockstar’s Girlfriends” across the front in diamonds.Her jeans were frayed and torn and her belt was black and thick covered in diamond studs.

Deangelo: You know, this author has yet to even mention Jake’s hair color.

>Jake knew Jovi didn’t like to dress like a punk, but her dad and siblings hated preps and practically decided who Jovi was.

Gwen: They also made her sleep next to the fireplace where she would become covered in cinders.

>Jovi had once been a champion ballerina and cheerleader,

Tempest: A cheerleader? Wow, it’s like we’ve wandered into some parallel dimension.
Jarred: Yeah, I know. After so many stories about emos we’re finally seeing things from a preppy point of view. Amazing.
Kalinda: Truly we are strangers in a strange land.

>but her father stopped paying for lessons, and
>Jovi couldn’t earn the money herself so she quit.

Melanie: Because no one wanted to hire a fry cook named Jovi.

>”Something’s wrong isn’t it?” Jovi asked, concern filling her eyes.
>”Yeah. Hop in I’ll tell you on the way.”
>”Okey-Dokey Doc!” she chirped. Jovi never stopped smiling.

Deangelo: A girl that smiles? She doesn’t cut herself or whine about her life or listen to emo bands? I don’t know if I can handle this change.
M: (From the control room.) Deep breaths, Deangelo.

>She popped into the passenger seat, “Okay I’m in spill the juice!” she demanded

Dominick: (Jake.) But not all over the car. I just had it detailed!

>”Aren’t you going to let me put the keys in the ignition?”

Kalinda: (Jovi.) Wait, cars need keys to run? No wonder I can never manage to take the car out on Saturday night without my parents knowing!

>”Nope I’m to nosey and if you don’t tell all I will personally tell Britney that you wear briefs AND boxers!”

Tempest: And nothing underneath!
Others: (O_o) ……

>Jake suddenly grew silent.
>”Oh no!” Jovi cried, “That bitch dumped you didn’t she?” Jake just nodded.

Melanie: (Jake.) That bitch was the love of my life!

>”She dumped me for Mark too. They’re dating now.” he sighed
>~~”Don’t you know her name?”~~

Kalinda: First of all, you just skipped over a huge chunk of lyrics. Second, the lyric is “Don’t you know MY name”.
Deangelo: Simply proving that you don’t even need to know the lyrics to a song to write a songfic.

>”What’d I tell you Jake?”
>”What?”

Jarred: (Jovi.) Never rub a cat the wrong way.

>”Never date a girl named Britney! It’s a bad omen!”

Gwen: I’m sure all of the Britneys of the world are hideously offended.
Melanie: Well, some of them are. Most of them haven’t learned how to read yet.

>~~”I’m the best thing you ever had
>Only thing i’m guilty of

Dominick: Is armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. That’s all! The man is trying to get me on a bunch of other charges, but those are bullshit! Bullshit, I tell you!

>Is giving you too much love”~~
>Jake laughed and run his hand through Jovi’s long hair, which had always comforted him.

Tempest: Really? So whenever he’s feeling down he runs over to Jovi’s house and paws at her hair? Yeah, that sounds like a healthy relationship.

>Jovi smiled and a chill ran down her spine, ‘God he’s hott!’ she thought. She’d been in love with Jake ever since the day they had met…

Deangelo: Jovi had been shoplifting from American Eagle since her father would refuse to buy her any clothes from that store when she bumped into Jake, dropping her shopping bag filled with her lifted goodies. As the mall security officers closed in on her, she shoved Jake at them using him to distract them as she made her get away. She was always grateful for the sacrifice he made for her. Whenever she put on her denim mini skirt, she thought of him.

>~~”That was then
>This is now”~~
>Jovi’s Memory:

Jarred: So this really ISN’T now. This is then.
Tempest: But it’s now in the story.
Jarred: But it’s a flashback, so it’s technically then.
Tempest: Oh yeah, you’re right.

>”F-I-R-E! Eagles are on Fire! Prepare to be beat!” Jovi chanted. Her hair pulled into a high ponytail and her uniform neatly ironed.

Dominick: I think we should all stop and remember this moment. It will probably be the last time we ever see a main character as a cheerleader.
Jarred: I must say, reading non-emo fics is a nice break. I mean, no one has mentioned a razor or been beaten up or listened to any emo bands. It’s like a whole new genre of stories opened up for us.
M: (From the control room.) Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don’t like emo love stories. News at eleven.

>Jovi put her pom-pomed hands on her hips and prepared to begin the next cheer when all of sudden a tall blonde haired chocolate brown eyed babe slammed into her (JaKE!)

Gwen: Jake knocked her over, causing her to accidently swallow one of her pom-poms. The rest of the night was spent at the hospital trying to extract it from her throat.

>”Sorry!” he muttered and climbed off her and jogged back onto the court, turning to stare at her.

Jarred: Jake then realized that her face was the same as the demon who haunted his nightmares.

>’God he’s hot!’ she thought, not knowing he was thinking the same thing.

Tempest: (Jake.) God, I’m hot.

>After the game they both showered and Jovi was leaving when Jake stopped her. >”Hey…um…uh” he stuttered. Jovi laughed,

Melanie: (Jovi.) Oh, so now you’re trying to talk to me like you have a penis. How cute!

>”Either you want my forgiveness for trying to kill me, or you want my number, you have my forgivenes, and you can forget about the number. C-ya!” she chirped and hopped into her dad’s camo jeep.

Dominick: She rejected him so cheerfully. Amazing…

>~~”It’s makin you crazy
>Makin you a wreak
>Makin you follow me
>Makin me suspect

Gwen: You know, even though this story is utterly different from the nonsense that we usually MiST, it’s not any better. I mean, true, there was a cheerleading scene and not a cutting scene, but they were both poorly written and built no real interest in the characters or the shallow plot.
Deangelo: You do have a point, my love.

>You wish to think i’m playin her game”~~

Kalinda: (Face palming.) That is so not the right lyric.

>”Yo Jov’s wake up!” Jake said.
>”Oh-uh sorry.” she stuttered, “So now what are you going to do?”

Dominick: (Jake.) I think I’ll backpack around Europe for a year. I just need some time to think and really figure out who I am. Maybe I’ll paint or write that novel that I’ve been planning.

>”What do you mean?”
>”Gonna beat Mark up or something?”

Jarred: Physical violence is never the answer.
Melanie: In this case, it doesn’t really have a point. Britney already broke up with him and he doesn’t want her back, so what would beating Mark up really accomplish?

>”Nah, I don’t think I want a girlfriend, especially not Britney.”

Tempest: That is so not what she asked him. But, okay.

>”Trust issues…Happens to everyone when they get played. I give you three hours before you are looking for a rebound girl.”

Kalinda: (Jovi.) Oh look, there’s a rebound sitting right in front of you. What a coincidence?

>”Who would go out with me?”
>”I would” Jovi said, unphased

Deangelo: Didn’t she refuse to give him her phone number in that flashback? Who would date someone that they wouldn’t give their phone number to?

>”You have to say that, you’re Jovi!”
>”No I don’t, I just felt like making you feel better…Feel better?”

Dominick: (Jake.) I’d feel better after a blow job.
Kalinda: (Jovi.) Okay!

>”Ha! You make me feel better? Never!” Jake laughed sarcastically.
>”Okay fine then.”
>”Fine.” he said, they were only mock arguing.

Gwen: Oh good. I was deeply concerned that their argument was real and they would begin fighting to the death in a few minutes.

>”SO are you going to the game tonite?”
>”I don’t think so, I was gonna go with Britney, but…yah know.”

Melanie: (Jovi.) Yeah, she left you for another guy. Yep. Just dumped your ass like a pound of bricks. Just, bam! Right to the curb.

>”Yeah, you wanna hitch a ride with me? I have to cheer-lead, but it’s all good.”
>”Sure thanks!”he said, just then they pulled into her driveway, “Well I’ll see ya tonite!”

Jarred: Uh, when did they start driving?
Kalinda: It was implied.
Jarred: By what?

>”Yeah, pick you up at 6?”
>”no problem.” he said. Jovi turned to walk inside when suddenly something compelled her otherwise.

Tempest: She was compelled by the god of rebound sex to jump back into the car with him and ask him to take her back to his place.

>”Hey Jake!” she said, leaning to the driver’s window, “You feel better?” she asked.
>”Um not really.”

Deangelo: At least he’s honest.

>”Well try this,” she said gently, tugging him to her by the collar of his shirt and kissed him tenderly on the lips.

Tempest: She shoots, she scores!
Gwen: Is that young lady offering herself to Jake as rebound material? I thought she actually liked him. Why would she want to be his rebound from his ex-girlfriend?
Kalinda: Maybe she thinks that he’ll come for the rebound and stay for her charming personality. Or her pleasant singing voice.

>Jake didn’t kiss back and Jovi turned and walked inside, embarassed and rejected.
>’Oh God,’ she thought, ‘I think I just ruined our friendship’

Melanie: You think?
Tempest: It doesn’t have to ruin their friendship. I mean, I kiss my friends all the time.
Melanie: Friends, Tempest, not fuck buddies.
Tempest: Same thing in my world.

>’Oh God,’ Jake thought, ‘I am so over Britney! but wait, I never kissed her back!’ he thought as he walked into his house.

Dominick: Jake goes inside so he can read up on how to kiss a girl back.

>~~”That was her-This is me
>We’re different as can be
>She and I are nothing alike
>You’re confusing day with night

Kalinda: Oh right, we’re in a songfic, remember!

>That was then-This is now
>You wanna trust me
>But you don’t know how
>I’m never gonna mess around,let you down

Jarred: I always wondered what the point of a songfic was. I mean, if you want to write a story inspired by a song, then just do that. You don’t need to insert the actual lyrics to the song in random places.

>Can’t you see?
>That was her and baby this is me”~~

Melanie: Jarred has a good point, but I did kind of like this song back in the day. I mean, it’s a nice blast from the past.
Deangelo: Then what would the appeal be if we were reading this songfic back when it was written, when the group and this song were still relevant?
Melanie: It would have less appeal. But we’re reading this in 2011 and this song was released almost a decade ago and it’s a reminder of the simple days when we didn’t have a care in the world.
Gwen: Unless you count our constant fear of being stuck MiSTing another lemon.
Melanie: Well, yeah, there was that.

>Jake spent about half an hour getting dressed, he finally choose a red hawaiin polo shirt and khaki cargo shorts.

Deangelo: But how did he style his hair? Did he put eyeliner on? Please, story, I need to know.

>He intended to kiss her, no matter what, and he knew this shirt would look amazing up against her red and black uniform.

Dominick: Because guys are super concerned with matching their date’s outfits.

>Spraying on cologne and adjusting his hair he arrived downstairs in time to hear the door bell ring.

Kalinda: Pizza delivery!

>He opened it and there stood Jovi, looking more beautiful than ever in her uniform. He shut the door behind him.

Tempest: Before the game they both decided to go harass some emo kids in their school and taunt them with razor blades.

>”Jake I’m sor-“she started but suddenly without warning Jake wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. It was a long kiss, pure and sweet.

Melanie: Hey, do you guys think non-emo girls get pregnant the same way that emos do?
Deangelo: Instantaneously? I doubt it. I think that phenomena is solely emo. At least, I hope it is.

>When they pulled apart Jake said, “I should have done that earlier.” he said softly. Jovi just stared at him then she started to laugh,

Kalinda: (Jovi.) Oh you tried to kiss me. Just like a real boy! Adorable!

>”Jake?”
>”What?”

Gwen: (Jovi.) I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Dave.

>”I don’t think that red lipstick works on you!” she laughed.
>”Did you get lipstick on me?”

Dominick: (Jovi.) No, you already had it on. Were you… wearing lipstick?
Melanie: (Jake.) Lipstick?! Me wearing lipstick? No, no, you’re wrong, I just, I don’t wear lipstick. How silly. You’re a silly girl, Jovi!

>”Yeah!” she giggled, “Here I’ve got it!” she said, kissing him again,
>”And that helped how?” Jake asked

Dominick: (Jovi.) I’ll keep your dark secret, Jake. I promise, I’ll love you no matter what kind of lipstick you like to wear.
Melanie: (Jake.) Great, great. So how do you feel about boys wearing women’s underwear?
Dominick: (Jovi.) What?!
Melanie: (Jake.) Nothing, nothing. I didn’t say anything at all.

>”Wait until Britney sees you found a rebound girl after two hours, instead of three!” Jovi laughed.

Jarred: Wait, I thought being a rebound girl was a bad thing.
Tempest: It is if you’re looking for a relationship. It’s not if you just want to have a little fun. And you don’t mind that people know you like to have a little fun… With all kinds of people.

>~~”Baby I would never do that
>I love you faithfully”~~

Kalinda: Okay, at this point the author is just spouting random song lyrics. I thought songfics were supposed to follow the actual song.
Deangelo: I don’t think it’s a requirement.

>Epilogue: Well needless to say, Britney was as jealous as heck, and made a fool out of herself trying to see Jake, who was all over Jovi any chance he got.

Jarred: But Britney has a new boyfriend. Why would she care if Jake was going out with someone else?

>Mark got played too, just like Jake, and still, 40 years later, Britney hadn’t had a boyfriend since (Bad reputation and all).

Dominick: Yeah, because the rest of your life is totally controlled by what happened to you in high school.

>Jovi got a job, and finally re took-up ballet, upon her father’s disapproval, and became a national champion when she was 18.

Melanie: It’s weird that they were so against ballet. I mean, ballet’s not really a preppy sport.
Kalinda: I think winning at anything is considered preppy.
Melanie: Ahhhhh…

>Jake, her best supporter, encouraged Jovi and helped her become her own person.

Deangelo: Unfortunately, she became someone that he didn’t like and their relationship ended.

>When they were 22 Jake propased, the next day, to show she agreed, Jovi cut her hair to her shoulders, bought clothes that she liked, got a job at the Gap, and through out her bright red lipstick.

Gwen: So that’s how Americans accept marriage proposals.
M: (From the control room.) Weird. I just said yes.

>A year later they were married and name their kids accordingly:

Tempest: Muffin, Lollipop and Fido.
Jarred: Tempest, that’s what you named your hamsters when you were little.
Tempest: So? They’re still good names.

>Jay-Z Taylor (Jay-Z, Taylor Hanson) Selena Jennifer (Selena, Jennifer Lopez) and finally Carter Elton (The Carter family, and Elton John)

Melanie: Wow, imagine being named after one of the Hanson brothers.
Dominick: I bet you’d have to constantly explain who he was.

>And lived happily ever after

Kalinda: Well, there’s an unrealistic view of love that I can pointlessly aspire to.
M: (From the control room.) That’s all, kids. Let’s head back to the conference room for some dinner.
Dominick: (Jumping out of his chair.) Yay, food!
Melanie: Wait, I haven’t finished my chocolates yet. Ah well, they’re coming too.

(The MiSTers file out of the theatre and head towards the conference room.)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(The MiSTers are all seated around the conference room table enjoying their dinner. Rosie is sitting on the end of the conference table, grooming herself.)

Gwen: I’m sure that having a baby Leopardita on the table must violate some kind of health code.
Jarred: It’s okay, Gwen. Rosie is all the way down there, her fur won’t get in our food.
Melanie: Hey M, are you going to give us another break from the emo love stories next week?
M: I haven’t decided yet. I have so much MiSTing fodder it can be quite overwhelming. I must have over 200 stories for us to MiST. Selecting just the right one isn’t easy.
Deangelo: Personally, I don’t see the true difference. Yes, the main character in this songfic came from a different high school social group, but she was still in high school and still just as annoying.
Kalinda: But it was different having a main character who was perky and didn’t talk about cutting.
Tempest: Yeah, but her ball-busting cheerfulness wasn’t much better.
Dominick: I think the main point everyone is trying to make is that nonsense is still nonsense no matter if it cuts itself or it doesn’t.
Gwen: Yes, something like that.
M: You do have a point. MiSTing crap is MiSTing crap is MiSTing crap.
Jarred: Well, that settles that.

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