There are several Facebook “crimes” that tend to annoy people and, to be fair, most of them annoy me. Vaguebooking is one that particularly gets under my skin. Vaguebooking is when someone posts a vague status, eluding to something that has upset them or offended them but they don’t actually have the balls to say who or what happened.
I find this annoying because, as a human being, your immediate reaction is, “Did I do something to piss them off?” Even if they were a college friend that you hadn’t seen in 5 years and there’s no way you could have possibly done something to annoy them. But also because it’s passive aggressive and childish. Have a problem but don’t actually want to address it or confront someone? Post a vague status update. Because that will fix things.
Another one of these crimes is taking pictures of your food. Before I started cooking I didn’t really post pictures apart from once we went to a sushi restaurant and they brought out this beautiful plate of sushi that simply could not have gone in our stomachs without being photographed. Another time is pictures of birthday cake. And once I tried to cook a Hot Pocket and put it in the microwave on a sparkly plate that, unbeknownst to me, wasn’t supposed to be microwaved. The result was so amusing that I posted a picture of it on my Facebook (pictured).
But when I started cooking, I did start taking photos of my food and posting it on Facebook. Mostly because I was so proud of the fact that I had actually prepared something with my own two hands that I wanted to share it. I have always been somewhat deficient in the areas of housewifery, so making dinner was actually a pretty big accomplishment for me. I haven’t posted all photos of food on my Facebook. The bacon and cheese mashed cauliflower didn’t make it onto my wall.
So I apologize to my Facebook buddies if I have annoyed you with photos of my food. However, I don’t have an Instagram, so at least I haven’t become a hipster Instagraming my photos of food that fits my very specific diet. So there’s that, right?
I just did a websearch and found that there is an STFU, Foodies blog. But it seems to be focused on people who are making stuff that’s way more complicated and fancy than I am. Also, there are no actual over share posts on it. So I think I’m safe. *Whew!*