Random Thoughts III

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I hate it when people use smiley faces sarcastically. For example, someone writes “I hate you and hope you die :)”. Smiley faces are happy things. Don’t use them out of spite.

Was watching a true crime documentary and one of the talking heads pronounced “Yu-Gi-Oh” wrong. If you’re going to call something silly, you should probably know how to pronounce it correctly.

Hipster confession: with all of these new British artists coming over to the states, I really think to myself, “I knew about them before they were cool.” And it’s so true! I had Cher Lloyd’s album almost a year before it came out in the states. I also watched Little Mix storm X Factor and become the first group to ever win, months before anyone knew who they were. I can’t help it. When Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen came to the US, when I was in college, everyone was buzzing about these hot new artists and I was like, you’re just hearing about them now?

If I stood on a chair, I’d be taller. –Eliza Doolittle

I really don’t get how some people can think that they know the meaning of life for all human beings. Finding out the meaning of life for yourself is fine, but figuring it out for everyone else? Not a chance. We’re all too different to be able to find ultimate fulfillment the same way.

Today Tim and I were watching an episode of Criminal Minds entitled “Middle Man”. In the episode, a trio of men stalk and abduct exotic dancers, then torment and rape them, before one of the men kills them. Apparently, the other two didn’t know that the third was actually killing the girls. One claimed he only had sex with the girls, he didn’t want any part of killing them. What a noble rapist! Sure, he kidnaps, drugs, and rapes women, but he draws the line at murder! This is simply morally detestable.

I want a cow. Cows are awesome.

There’s a group on Facebook called “Getting your girlfriend pregnant so her boobs get bigger”. I haven’t been to its page or even looked into it because the implications of the name make me seriously uneasy. Is this a bad joke? Has anyone actually done this? What happens to the baby that causes these large boobs? Are babies just a side effect of the larger breasts? Is fatherhood worth having your girlfriend’s cup size increase? It would be cheaper and safer for the girl to get surgical breast augmentation. Maybe I’m putting too much thought into this….

I love the home security system commercials where an intruder breaks in and an authoritative voice demands the criminal identify himself, then barks at him to leave. Are all of their employees trained to sound threatening over an intercom? What if someone breaks in and a squeaky voice comes out of the system politely asking the intruder to go away?

Recently saw a pin on Pinterest for an avocado dip to replace ranch dressing. Psht! Like anything could ever replace ranch dressing. Nice try.

I hate weight loss commercials that try to sell self-esteem. If you think your outward appearance is a direct reflection of how good you’re allowed to feel about yourself then you’re delusional. If you were an insecure fat person, then you will be an insecure thin person. Feelings are harder to change than your body.

It’s really starting to bug me when people “call out” others for having first world problems. Uh yeah, we live in the first world, those are the kinds of problems that we are going to have. Not to mention that just because someone has it worse than us, doesn’t mean we can’t be upset or sad about our current situation. Would you go up to someone who is having the best day of their life and tell them, nope, someone else in the world is having had a better best day than you, so you can’t be this happy?

My apologies to everyone who found their way to my blog entry “Don’t talk, just screw” when they were clearly looking for porn. But really, there is so much porn out there, how the hell did they end up at my site? Anyway, hope you like hearing my personal opinions on pornography!