Stop the insanity!


We’ve all heard of insane things that people have done in the name of weight loss. Some things are silly, some are dangerous, some are both. But this new method of weight loss absolutely boggles my mind. Of all the ways to decide to lose weight, this one is not a good option. At all.

The tongue patch is a new procedure gaining popularity all over the world. It involves sewing a small, square, plastic patch onto the tongue. This makes eating so painful that the person undergoing the procedure can only drink liquids. The patient is then put on a very low calorie liquid diet (about 800 calories per day). People allegedly lose 20-30 lbs in a month and upwards of 50 lbs in two months. Of course, the patch has to be removed after two months so that it doesn’t become a part of the tongue, once the tissues start growing back.

I know this shit is not going to yield a lot of permanent results, because I’ve done this, just without the patch. When I was in my late teens I went on a “fast” where I didn’t eat solid food and only drank throughout the day. I lost about 60 lbs total, but a year after I lost the weight, it started coming back on. The amount of calories that I was consuming wasn’t manageable for me and the prolonged fast has put my body into starvation mode. I was doomed to fail right from the start.

The doctor in the video at the bottom of the Daily Mail article claims that patients work with a psychologist to change their behaviors and apparently to stop stress eating. But honestly, if the only thing that stops you from eating is a patch on your tongue, you’re not going to have enough time in one to two months to completely rethink your eating and exercising habits. That can take years to do and it’s a constant struggle.

A patient of the procedure, Yomaira Jaspe, stated that “I don’t have the willpower to go on a diet, so this was the only way.” If you don’t have the willpower to change your eating and exercising habits, then you are not going to have long-term weight loss results. It’s really that simple. Losing weight is hard enough as it is, but that’s not even the most difficult part. Plenty of diets can make you lose weight through a variety of methods but none of that matters if you regain the weight. Mostly because when you regain, you gain back not only the weight you lost, but usually a few extra pounds.

This procedure hasn’t been approved by the FDA yet, but with all of the wacky weight loss shit they do approve, I highly doubt that someone is going to step up and point out what a bad, fucking idea this is. But even if this isn’t approved, how long until someone else comes up with something even more insane and pointless? One day we’ll finally find the way to affect long-term weight loss in a population. But until then, don’t sew things into your tongue and think that it’s going to solve all your problems.

Special thanks to Soraya Rojas for forwarding me this article!