Random Thoughts VI

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I stopped to get gas one day before coming back to the Burg. I pulled up to a pump and started pumping my gas and a few minutes later, another car pulled up on the other side of the pump. I wasn’t paying too much attention to the group. I was waiting for the gas to finish pumping when I heard the sound of falling liquid from the other side of the pump. The first thing I thought was that the other car’s gas tank was overflowing and highly flammable gasoline was spilling all over the ground just inches from me and my car. I looked over to see if it was indeed what I thought it was and it wasn’t. The guy who was pumping gas was peeing while he filled the car’s tank. I couldn’t believe it! The gas station had bathrooms located not 40 yards from where he was standing, but he elected to empty his bladder all over the concrete where people would unknowingly step in it. Men, the world is not your restroom. Get your ass to a toilet like a civilized human being.

When I look for emo love stories I find the same photos are used again and again and again and again (and again x 10^158) as physical representations of the writer’s original characters. There seem to be a finite number of attractive emo teenagers, so these pulchritudinous young men and women have unknowingly become the faces of the emo movement. I sometimes wonder if the original subjects of the photos ever Google themselves and find that they represent a huge chunk of the characters from terrible emo love stories.

I hate that I can’t access iTunes UK or the UK Amazon cloud paper. I got an e-mail informing me that I now had digital access to the 134 albums I have purchased on UK Amazon in the last 10+ years. I followed the link to check it out and it took me to the US Amazon, where I have only about 20 albums. Most of them from terrible artists that I bought for the lulz. I am a legitimate customer that paid real money for music, I shouldn’t be jipped just because I live in the wrong country. It’s hard enough to like music that I have trouble accessing, don’t make it even more difficult!

Is it just me or is anyone else becoming completely desensitived to sexy pictures of women? Sexy pictures just aren’t sexy anymore. Whenever a picture of a hot girl pops up on my newsfeed or on the internet somewhere, I find myself noticing something in the background or something about what the girl is wearing. Recently a photo of a nondescript sexy girl ended up in my Facebook feed and I found myself wanting to comment, “she is wearing the wrong size bra. I hope someone tells her so that she can buy new ones in the correct size. That must be so uncomfortable.”

Computers should last longer. My parents got me a brand new, high-tech computer as a going-to-college present when I started Mary Baldwin in 2006. Right now it’s so slow that it can’t handle web browsing. 7 years and the silly thing is barely useable! I don’t remember how much it cost originally, but come on. Computers are too expensive and too complicated to have to get a new one every few years.

Some days I completely lose faith in humanity by the end of the day. Other days I browse my Facebook feed in the morning and it happens.

I love vodka commercials that show young, incredibly attractive people in a club, all enjoying their vodka. No creepers scaring women, no fat girls, no people with an unconventional style, just beautiful people getting drunk. I bet children are watching these commercials thinking that that’s what clubs are like. They are going to be so disappointed in a few years.

Sometimes I think that people set movies and TV shows in Rio just so they can show that goddamn Jesus statue. The country isn’t that great or that interesting, it just has that fucking, easily-recognizable statue, so writers will set anything in there.

If you come across something in my blog and you’re not sure if I’m being sarcastic or not, just go ahead and assume that I am. You’ll be right more often than you’re wrong.

I realize that my blog now says “I love you!” in the corner. But seriously, I don’t really love you. That’s weird. I like you as a friend.

Clothing needs to come in standard sizes. The other day I was trying on clothes in my skinny closet and I failed to fit into a size 16 dress. Then I tried on a size 12 dress and it fit. Think of how much easier buying clothing would be if only you knew what size you were in every store. Shopping online would be remarkably simpler and would result in fewer returns and unsatisfied customers. Someone, get on this.

Observations while watching Cops:

-There is no minimum IQ that is required for appearing on this show.
-Why do people running from the cops never think to tell them that they’re just jogging in the neighborhood and trying to work off a few pounds? It would make more sense than saying “Nothing” over and over again when they ask you why you were running.
-The cops might believe your sob routine a bit more if you cry actual tears.
-You do not know a Supreme Court judge. Just stop shooting your mouth off.
-If you hire someone to assassinate your husband, first make sure that that person is not a cop.
-If the cop chasing you keeps repeating that he’s going to tazer you, don’t be all upset and alarmed that you got tased. You had fair warning.
-There is no such thing as the Hypodermic Needle Fairy. Hypodermic needles don’t just appear in your backpack without your knowledge.
-No one cares that you’re “very sorry” about your drunk and disorderly conduct. You weren’t exactly sorry when you claimed you could order a hit on a restaurant owner who politely asked you to sit down and stop wandering around the dining room like a weirdo.