Let’s talk about big boobs

lara-croft-breastsWe all know them and love them and can hardly stop talking about them. Breasts fascinate everyone. Yes, they can be functional and do things like feed babies. But the beginning and the end of breasts in American culture is their significance as a secondary sex trait. Everyone has an opinion on breasts, whether they have them or not, whether they are sexually attracted to them or not. But the sad thing is that most of our ideas about boobs and how they work are coming from a male gaze that doesn’t really understand breasts at all.

First of all, a lot of people like to think that larger breasts are better and enormous breasts are even better than that. For some people that have them through nature or science, they are. But there are drawbacks to having large breasts that never really get talked about. First of all, breasts are heavy. They are fat deposits, plain and simple, and the larger they are, the heavier they are. Once your breasts get to a certain weight, no tube top, triangle bikini, or flimsy sports bra will hold them.

Another thing that no one wants to realize is that breasts are subject to a little something called gravity. Perky DDD cups are usually the product of cosmetic surgery. But even after a few years, even the perkiest surgically-enhanced breasts can start to sag due to a woman losing skin elasticity as she gets older. The idea that the average busty woman can roam around town wearing a sheer top and no bra, only to have her assets bounce perfectly along with her as she walks is just a fantasy.

Also, areolas can be large. It’s normal. Larger breasts have larger nipples. I once witnessed a man reacting in disgust to a photo of a busty topless girl who had large nipples. As if any pair of breasts that didn’t match the porn star’s he’d been used to seeing were defective. They’re not. Breasts, nipples and areolas come in all shapes and sizes. There’s nothing wrong with any of them.

I can’t help but think that some of the misconceptions about breasts are due to industries such as video games, porn and “geek” media. Female superheroes are always sexualized, always wearing revealing outfits and always have breasts so large they shouldn’t be able to stand upright without significant pain. Lara Croft, who was first crafted as a strong, independent, headstrong kind of girl couldn’t escape from having ridiculous melons plastered onto her frame.

With all of the running, jumping, climbing, swimming and kicking ass that she has to do, I’m rather inclined to think that if her breasts were natural, that she would have gotten a reduction by now to improve her health and adventuring. Although her breasts looked natural and proportional in the last game, Tomb Raider 2013, it’s probably only a matter of time before they ballon up again.

Speaking of breasts effecting your physical health and daily activities, allow me to be the first to tell you that having disproportionately large breasts is not fun. Right now I’m an F cup, bordering on a G, and I already have a reduction scheduled. Having large breasts for me means constantly being in pain. There’s nothing sexy or fun about not being able to do normal activities without being in agony.

Also, when you have extra large breasts, clothes don’t fit. It’s gotten to the point in my weightloss where I’m fitting into clothes that I had grown out of. But now, everything else will fit except the bust. When I was this weight before I was a D or a DD, and clothes fit me just fine. As an F cup, this no longer holds true. When I went to look for a bathing suit top after my old one become entirely too large, I ran into the problem of not fitting any of the tops that were available due to my cup size. It’s to the point where I can walk into any store and there is absolutely nothing that will fit me.

Even plus-sized clothing stores only go up to DDD cup sizes. It’s rare to find anything larger than that and if there is something larger to be found then the band size always seems to well above what I need it to be. Clothes shopping is frustrating and often pointless when you have large breasts.

One thing that bothers me is the constant media representation of breasts as rounded bags of silicone that defy gravity and have tiny little areolas. It’s totally fine if someone wants those kinds of breasts or likes having them. But when all we see is one type of breasts, it gets more than annoying. All kinds of breasts are fine and should be considered normal. There shouldn’t be a perfect shape and style that everyone is trying to aim for, no matter their body type.

Sometimes I wish that nudity was more acceptable in the US. When the only representations of nude bodies that we have are pornstars and celebrities, it’s no wonder that so many people get a skewed idea of what the human body looks like and what constitutes a “normal” form or figure. Everyone needs to realize that their body is fine, even if it doesn’t look like the ones they see on TV.

All in all, having large breasts is not as exciting and sexually alluring as most people think. There can be some serious consequences to having a big cup size. Being comfortable and confident in your body is part of being a fulfilled person. This isn’t possible when you’re in a lot of pain.