NB: This is a novelization of the film, Bratz Super Babyz. The dialogue is taken verbatim from the movie. The rest are things that I added in, in an attempt to explain some of the stranger parts of the movie. To read all parts of this novelization, click here.
As the Super Buds left, Cloe started to cry. Gran rushed to her side and held her. “Why Cloe, whatever is the matter?” She asked.
“I-I wanted a picture with Explodo Girl!” Cloe sobbed, heartbroken that she had missed her chance to get a photo with her favorite superhero. Now in Gran’s scrapbook, she would forever be immortalized standing next to Mr. Stretch-tastic. And no one cared about him.
Sasha rolled her eyes. “Cloe!” She chastised. “Drama Mama, hold it together!”
Cloe narrowed her eyes. She hated that nickname and Sasha was determined to use it as often as possible. Cloe had hoped that she would take the hint, but Sasha wasn’t exactly known for her perception. “Stop bossing me!” She shaking off the arm Sasha had tried to wrap around her.
“Honestly, Cloe,” Gran said, straightening up and ignoring the crick in her spine. “What is there to get so undone about? Maybe it’s time for a nap,” she innocently suggested.
The girls all gasped. They didn’t want to go home! They had just gotten to the park. They still had all of the rides to go on and the shows to see and they all wanted souvenirs! They had to stay longer.
“Oh no, really. I’m fine,” Cloe said, perking up. “Look, no more tears!” She smiled brightly to show that she was over her outburst of emotion and ready to go see more of the grounds.
“Uh, Gran?” Sasha asked, redirecting everyone’s attention back to her. “Can we please go on the Rockin’ Rocket?” She asked, pointing to the large ride off in the distance.
“Whatever your hearts desire, My Royal Highnesses,” Gran said, smiling broadly at her adopted children.
The girls cheered and raced off towards the Rockin’ Rocket. The ride was eight stories high. Sturdy red-painted steel rose above the tiny girls and ended in the sky, high above them. Rockin’ Rocket was a simple ride.
It took you up to the top of the ride, eight stories up, then dropped you straight down. That was it, really. Gran studied the Rockin’ Rocket with a raised eyebrow. It looked far too intense for toddlers. An eight story drop? What child would find that enjoyable?
But the Bratz Babyz were already climbing into the seats when she arrived, so she entered the tiny cab to help them. She snapped the safety harnesses into place and pulled the straps tightly to make sure the girls were secure. It seemed strange that the ride had toddlers seats on it. She finished with Yasmin and smiled at the little Latina girl. “There you are, Pretty Princess,” she said, using the special nickname that the girl’s friends used for her.
Cloe looked around nervously as Gran stepped out of the car. “Oh, this was a bad idea,” she said, her blue eyes brimming with tears. “I want off.”
But it was too late. The door to the car slammed shut and a few seconds later, the rocket-shaped car was heading towards the sky. Cloe gripped the arm rest nervously as she watched the ride climb higher and higher. Finally, just as she thought that she was calming down, the ride plummeted back towards the earth.
Cloe screamed. Her voice carried throughout the entire park, causing Gran, still standing at the turnstile waiting for the girls, to jump. Seconds later, the ride was over. Gran looked up at the girls in surprise, realizing that first, Cloe was still screaming and second, the ride they had just been on had lasted a whole 10 seconds. She had wondered why the line was so short, but now she knew why.
Inside the ride, Sasha looked over at Cloe, who had just stopped making her high-pitched scream. “Cloe, are you okay?” Sasha asked, secretly hoping that there was another reason for Cloe’s ear-splitting scream besides an amusement park ride.
“No,” Jade said, “she yelled so loud even my earlobes hurt.” The little girl rubbed her ears in annoyance as Gran entered the rocket car and started to undo the straps that had secured the girls.
“Oh Gran, I don’t think I want to go on anymore rides like that,” Cloe said as Gran helped her off of the chair.
Gran chuckled to herself. “Of course, anything you say,” she told the little girl.
After she had taken all of the girls off of the ride, they walked towards the end of the park where Sasha had directed them to go on Johnny Speedometer’s Go Go Go Jumpstart. Gran wasn’t sure what the ride entailed, but the girls seemed so happy at the park. They passed a family who had all of their children dressed up as the Super Buds and the children shot the girls a thumbs up.
Just then, Yasmin saw something out of the corner of her eye. She turned and saw a souvenirs shop with a wide array of Zultra Zappers. Transfixed, she broke away from the group and disappeared into the shop.
Just then there was a flash of green lightening. It was so fast that Cloe was almost sure that her eyes had been playing tricks on her when Jade said, “What’s that?”
Sasha was about to assure the other girls that it must have been a reflection of one of the many shining lights in the park when she realized that they was one toddler short. “Where’s Yasmin?” She asked.
Gran looked around. She had lost another one of them. “Oh my, is that her?” She asked, pointing to the back of a small, brown-skinned child with strange dreadlocks that was headed towards the same store that Yasmin had just headed into.
Inside the store, Yasmin looked around at all of the different people who were looking over Zultra Zappers and Yulimans and Explode-o Girl’s trademark grenade launcher. As she looked around she saw a strange girl. The girl winked at her, then disappeared into the crowd. Yasmin blinked. That was strange. The girl looked just like her. Perhaps and older version of her.
Shaking off the idea, Yasmin walked over to the Zultra Zappers and looked over all of the colorful instruments. Behind her, the strange-looking child held out a Zultra Zapper and studied Yasmin carefully. Suddenly, a store clerk grabbed his arm and announced, “Hey! You gotta pay for that!”
Out of curiosity, Yasmin looked behind her and watched the clerk and the little toddler talking. “What?” The toddler asked, in a tone entirely too adult for his small stature. “Who do you think you are?”
The clerk straightened himself out. “I am the store manager, okay?” It was a lie, of course. He had just been hired a few weeks previously for the summer and hadn’t been working very hard. Due to his routine lateness and propensity for bullying customers and talking to them in rude tones, he was definitely not going to last the season. But right now he was the only person in the store, so that made him the manager, right?
“You can’t just have that,” the clerk continued, taking the Zultra Zapper from the toddler. He wrinkled his nose in disgust, noting how much the child smelled of dirty and something almost potato-y. “How you get that off the shelf? These things are fragile.”
“Return it, please,” the child said in a voice entirely too low for a child.
“Yeah, you bet I will,” the clerk said, rolling his eyes. He placed the Zultra Zapper back onto the shelf above Yasmin with several other devices that were the same color. The clerk turned back to the little boy. “Shoplifting,” he declared, in disgust. “Oh! Disgrace! You’ve gone bad at such an early age. Where’s your mom? Wait till I tell her what you did.”
The clerk continued to rant to the unimpressed toddler. “Mom? Not in my vocabulary,” the child informed him. Even though, at his age, the word “vocabulary” shouldn’t have been in his vocabulary.
“Well, don’t try to be cute with me, little man,” the clerk continued to mock the child. Just like the Super Buds, this clerk hated children and if he had any other kind of talents or abilities, he would have stayed in college and studied towards a career. But his desire to smoke pot and eat Doritos kept him from going to class and completing his assignments. The clerk turned back to the child. “Or woman. Er, whatever.”
He studied the toddler. The child’s face was a dark brown, but he didn’t seem to have a certain ethnicity. His face was strange, almost pock-marked in appearance. The clerk realized that he was staring at the little boy. “Want me to call Lost and Found?” He demanded, rudely.
“Who is Lost and Found?” The boy asked, puzzled.
“Oh, you’re a real card,” The clerk said, rolling his eyes. He had heard someone call a person a card one day when he was watching AMC in a stoned stupor. He had started saying it because it sounded interesting to him.
Meanwhile, across the room, Cloe and the rest of the girls entered with Gran. Cloe immediately pointed. “Well, there’s Yas,” she announced.
The group approached the little, scantily-clad girl. “Oh Yasmin, you’re going to do me in. Wandering off like that,” Gran scolded.
Yasmin twirled, sweetly. “Whoops! I forgot,” she smiled. Pretending as if Gran’s gentle words were enough to stop her from doing it again. And again.
Before the Gran could say anything else to her, the store clerk approached Gran, the first adult he had a chance to serve and almost tripped over himself trying to get to her. “Oh! Uh, can I help you, ma’am?”
His desire to impress Gran distracted him as the toddler that he had just finished accosting climbed into a high shelf in a way much too skilled and deft for such a small child. But no one noticed.
“Oh, these young ladies would like a souvenir,” Gran said, inwardly cringing at the thought of sending so much money on a toy that the girls would break as soon as they got home and leave in the middle of the living room for her to pick up.
As the girls cheered in excitement of Gran opening up her checkbook for them, the child jumped down from the shelf and resumed his position, watching the Bratz and Gran. The clerk was none of the wiser that he had procured one of the toy Zultra Zappers. When he turned and gave the child an “I’m watching you” motion, the child just rolled his eyes. The girls started looking over the toys as Gran told them, “But then it’s time to go home for a teeny-weeny afternoon nap.”
The girls were so excited that they could only manage an, “Awwww! Okay,” as they continued looking for their toys. The girls put their hands on just about every toy in the shop as they searched for the prefect souvenirs to mark their day at Adventure Universe.
Meanwhile, the child ran from the store and up the gold space ship that Earl and Ralph had been looking over that morning. The little boy hit a button and a ramp came down. He boarded and ran through the entrance chamber.
The ship was covered in dirt. Although it would look strange to a human astronaut, it was actually very homey and comforting to the Potatoes. But the “child” had gotten no further than the front room when a red light went on above his head. An alarm started to sound and one of the Potatoes shouted; “Thumping gray horse of phlegm! How did that get in!”
The Potatoe, who was named Tater Tot, pointed his laser gun at the “child”. It shouted, “What’re you doing? Don’t shot! It’s me, Corporal Tuber!”
Another Potatoe, this one named Spud, entered and viewed him suspiciously. “You don’t look like Corporal Tuber,” he commented. By now, the fourth and final Potatoe, Yam, entered.
“Vessel weevils and mugart worms!” Tot screamed, in his normal, histrionic way. “What happened, Tuber?”
“That’s pretty obvious,” Yam said, before Tuber could answer. “He took the Matter Exchanger, snuck out of the ship, and turned himself into a human baby.” Yam was just about to add on that they should boil him in hot oil when Tot jumped in.
“You left without us? We made a vow when we escape to stick together!” Tot screamed.
Yam rolled his eyes. Tot was taking that vow entirely too literal. Everyone in the ship had to explain to Tot where they were going and why if they so much as moved rooms.
“Very important,” Spud started, in his strangely deep voice. “We agreed to turn ourselves into babies together.”
“Wait, stop! Listen, I did it all for us,” Tuber reasoned with his compatriots. “I wanted to make sure it was true that babies are royalty here and everyone serves them.”
The Potatoes had found out from a band of uneducated green men with black, almond-shaped eyes that the humans were very fond of their offspring. To the point of giving them anything and everything they wanted despite the horrible consequences of this action. When the Potatoes heard this, they were determined to come to Earth and turn themselves into babies.
Of course, they hadn’t thought of who would take care of them or where these caretakers would get all of the funds and resources needed to appease four space potatoes. They knew nothing of foster systems or Child Protective Services. But their plan, without a parent, was verging on disaster. They just didn’t realize it.
“Good thing I did,” Tuber continued. “Attach the Memory Retriever!” He called.
Tuber sat down in one of the pod’s movable chairs and Tot grabbed a root from the wall. How they had integrated the roots and dirt into their technology wasn’t understood by any of the Potatoes, but they could work their equipment rather well.
The chair wrapped around Tuber. The small Potatoe child trembled as he thought about where that root was going to be placed. The insertion was quick, but sharply painful. Regardless, the film he had taken during the day at the park started playing on screen.
Tuber stared to narrate the footage. “I spent all day watching a particular gaggle of babies. They had a servant class human with them, of the type known as a “Gran.” ” The other Potatoes gasped at the knowledge of such a creature. “Their slightest, tiniest wish was its command,” Tuber added.
“What bliss,” Spud said in his monotone voice.
“A consummation devoutly to be wished!” Yam exclaimed, even though even he wasn’t sure what he was talking about.
“I want it!” Tot shouted, pointing at the Gran on the screen.
“Press the button,” Yam demanded. “I’m ready to be a baby right now.”
“Let’s do it,” Tot enthused. “I want a Gran to serve me!”
“Ready?” Tuber asked, holding up the toy Zultra Zapper that he had stolen from the store a few minutes earlier. Yam, Spud and Tot all declared in unison, “We wanna be babies!”
Tuber pressed the button the Zultra Zapper. Nothing happened. He pressed it again. Still nothing. His disappointment should have been two fold. The Matter Exchanger, which he thought he had picked up, should have turned the Potatoes into babies, but the Zultra Zapper toy should have at least lit up and made noise. It didn’t do either.
“Wait just a bleeck,” Yam said, suspiciously. Spud stopped himself from chiding him for his harsh language. “Let me see that.” He took the Zultra Zapper from Tuber and turned it over in his hands. On the back, in a language he couldn’t read, was stamped Made in China. “That’s not the Matter Exchanger! It’s an impostor!” He shouted. His rage quickly turned to his ship mate. “What have you done?!”
“Ah, geeblick!” Tuber swore. “I picked up the wrong one.”
None of the Potatoes wanted to point out that they really should have used the Matter Exchanger to turn the Matter Exchanger into something that wasn’t so easily confused with a child’s toy. Someone had mentioned it the other day, but no one was really paying attention and how could they have known that their Matter Exchanger looked exactly like a Zultra Zapper anyway? Although none of this changed the fact that the two had been mixed up.
“Where did you lose it, you giant crovazoid?” Tot exploded. Spud stopped himself from screaming at everyone to stop with their horrible language and just talk normally. But the Matter Exchanger was gone. And they all knew that there were more important things to argue about other than using slang terms for body parts.
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