Bratz TV: S1E6: Pets are accessories

maxresdefaultThe 6th episode of the Bratz’s TV show, Pet show (part 1, part 2), like Pampered Petz, is another time the Bratz delves into the serious matter of pet care without a thought to the fact that pets are living beings that require a responsible owner. Sadly, this episode is even worse than the movie. Now there’s no mistaking the fact that pets are just little furry accessories for girls to carry around in purses.

The episode starts out with Jade posing with her cat, Micha. She struts around the office, does a runway walk and Micha poses right along side of her. Because cats are all models at heart. Cameron is taking the photos, as we all know how many professional magazines have amateur, teenage photographers.

Cloe is standing off to the side, sneezing. She’s also wearing Yasmin’s black and white couture t-shirt. It seems likely to put in the episode that the girls change clothes, but I get the feeling that the only reason Cloe is now wearing this shirt is because the animation budget.

Anyway, Yasmin says that next they have a photo shoot with Chachi, a man that owns a gourmet pet food company. He’s launching a line of pet accessories and wants to be featured in Bratz Magazine for promotions. Speak of the devil, Chachi enters and Chachi is none other than John Paul from Bratz go to Paris. Again, animation budget.

He sets up a table and chairs for the photo shoot, complete with miniature flatware for the pets. His dog, Joanie, then chases Micha. As he talks with the Bratz, he mentions the pet show. The winner gets five thousand dollars. Yasmin tels Jade to enter and give the money to her animal rescue group. But Chachi is quite confident that Joanie will win.

Back at Your Thing, Burdine is planning on entering Royale in the contest. She has a flashback to the previous year’s show. She was accepting her first place award when Chachi put Joanie down and she bit off Burdine’s shirt. Burdine shuffled off stage, embarrassed.

In reality, Kirstee points out that Royale has won the last three years in a row. But Burdine tells her that the judges are new this year and she might not be able to bribe them. She decides there’s other ways to cheat though, so she instructs the Tweevils to kidnap Micha.

Sometime later, the Tweevils enter Bratz HQ and see Micha, roaming wild and free on top of a cabinet. Kaycee walks around, admiring the Bratz photography equipment and the set up that they were using that afternoon. She knocks over an expensive-looking lamp and says, “Whoops!” unapologetically.

Micha then jumps down from her perch and runs all over the place. A chase scene takes place where she trips Kaycee, then hides behind the couch, then jumps onto a lamp. Finally, Kaycee manages to grab the cat and puts her into a cage.

A while later, the Bratz return to their headquarters and see the overturned lamp and the disarrayed living area. Cloe says that Micha must have had an accident. But Jade insists, “My cat does not make mistakes.” Because that makes sense.

The girls start to look around for the house pet to no avail. Then Cloe realizes that she’s not sneezing. Jade then announces that Micha is missing. The Bratz spring into action. Jade cries on the couch and the other girls start posting flyers around town.

They notice that their flyer is just one of many trying to find lost pets. Yasmin gets off the phone with a girl from her pet rescue group and she informs the other girls that there have been a rash of petnappings in the area. Jade, always the proactive one, freaks out.

Sasha tells her that Micha is just fine and probably chilling with a tomcat. There’s a short insert scene of Micha having dinner with a male cat. Jade calls Chachi to talk and he tells her that his dog, Joanie, is missing as well! The plot thickens.

The girls return to their office building. Jade feels horrible about her missing cat and the girls recommend that they check the pound to see if anyone has turned her in as a stray. Meanwhile, in the front of the building, Burdine steps out of her car and discovers that she has a flat tire. She immediately places a phone call.

At Your Thing, the Tweevils have Micha in her cage. Kaycee asks her sister where the phrase, “Fight like cats and dogs” comes from. Kirstee tells her that it’s because cats and dogs fight so much. So Kaycee decides to test that theory. She then puts Royale into Micha’s cage. The two animals hiss and growl at each other.

I find this scene rather cruel even for the Tweevils. We know the two are unintelligent and callous, but come on. Putting two strange animals together could cause them a ton of undue stress and even for them to attach each other in such close quarters. Neither pet can get away from their stressor and if this was real life, one of those animals might not have lived to get out of that cage.

But this is Bratz and animals are just fun things to play with. Just then, Burdine calls and tells the Tweevils to come downstairs and fix her flat tire. The girls get moving. Meanwhile, a mysterious man, that looks exactly like Max, the villain from just about everything, is skulking around the office.

Outside, Cloe rides around on her skateboard, calling for Micha. The twins run past her on their way to get to Burdine. Cloe just shrugs and keeps on going.

Back in the office, the mystery man hangs up the phone that the twins left off the hook when they went to go help Burdine. He then takes the cage that holds both Royale and Micha. Outside, Cloe is still skateboarding.

Max heads outside through a side door to the office and as he exits the small alley, Cloe crashes into him and knocks the case out of his hand. She sneezes, but quickly apologizes for running into him. She picks up the cage and hands it back to Max.

For some reason, neither of the animals are making any noise despite the fact that they were both just knocked around and fell to the ground. Just then, Cloe sees the charm from Micha’s collar on the ground. She recognizes it immediately.

Max then grabs the cage and shoves her to the ground. Cloe picks herself up and gets back on her skateboard. She chases after him. Even though he had only a few seconds head start, he’s on foot and he’s holding a cage with at least 30 lbs of animals in it, Cloe takes forever to catch up to him.

The blonde Bratz girl chases Max down the street and does a gravity-defying move around a street lamp. She catches up to him enough to grab a scrap of cloth from the side of the carrying case. Cloe continues the pursuit, but is stopped when Sasha and Jade in the Bratz’s car pulls up at a stop light.

The girls ask Cloe if she’s okay. Cloe doesn’t answer, but looks across the street, seeing that Max has gotten away. End scene.

In front of the office, the Tweevils are trying to change Burdine’s flat tire, but neither of them know how. Of course, they both admitted to failing driver’s ed, so why would either of them know basic car maintenance? The two girls can’t figure it out.

Just then, Cameron rides up on his motorcycle. Burdine tells him that if he fixes the flat tire, she’ll make it worth their while. Cameron examines the tire and tells her that it’s not just flat, it’s been slashed. With a few seconds, Cameron fixes the tire.

As payment, she hands Cameron a copy of Your Thing Magazine. Cameron objects, but to no avail. Burdine and the Tweevils head back into Your Thing.

In Bratz Mag HQ, the girls are interrogating Cloe about her epic chase. They ask her what the guy looks like, but she couldn’t describe him. She should just tell him that he looks like every single villain in a Bratz movie ever.

Anyway, they hear a scream from across the hall and a second later, Burdine enters. She says that Royale is gone and she demands him back. But while she says this, Burdine reveals that she arranged Micha’s kidnapping.

Infuriated, Jade launches herself at her rival. Each woman demands their pet from the other woman. Sasha then points out that someone else stole both of their animals. Jade and Burdine crumple under the pressure and hug each other while they cry. Then they realize that they’re hugging each other and stop.

In the ladies’ room, Jade and Burdine are standing at the mirrors, blotting their eyes with tissues. Each one talks about how much she misses her pet. Burdine says that she loves Royale more than herself. Which, coming from Burdine, is saying something.

Jade confesses that she’s been through so much with Micha. Including, “Minis, platform boots, the corduroy craze.” If that was vomit-inducing enough, Jade adds that Micha is her best accessory. Because that’s what pets are, accessories. Regardless, the two decide to team up to find their missing animals.

Back at Bratz, Yasmin says that if they could figure out who made the pet blanket then they contact them and get a list of customers. Which sounds incredibly far fetched and not at all helpful. But Jade says that Chachi will probably know who made that blanket, given his expertise in pet fashions.

The next scene starts out with Burdine and Jade in Burdine’s car. The Your Thing editor is driving too slow for Jade’s tastes and Jade tells her to go faster. Burdine snaps back Jade has to do what she says. Jade reminds her that she doesn’t work for her anymore.

There’s then a brief flashback to Bratz Rock Angelz, when Burdine fires her. But not to be undermined, Burdine tells her that she has to do what she says anyway. Just because. Burdine stops at a red light and Jade gets out of the car.

Burdine drives after her, saying that she just wants to write an exclusive about their daring pet rescue. Jade then decides that she wants to work with Burdine again and she gets into the driver’s seat. She takes off in the car, entirely too fast, and crosses over a double yellow line.

In the next scene, the pink car pulls up to what looks like a huge factory that’s in a completely different dimension from the the rest of Stilesville. They go up to Chachi’s office and the corpulent man is crying about his dog’s disappearance.

He moans that no one has caught the petnapper yet. Jade comforts him. Then she sees Joanie’s dog bed and goes over to see it. She tells the distraught owner, “This bed is so plush. I can tell you really care.” Because that’s how you properly care for animals. You just buy them really expensive shit.

But then, Jade lifts the cover on the pet bed and it reveals that the underneath is the same fabric design as the swatch that Cloe took from the kidnapper. She also finds a bit of pink dog fur. The same color as Royale’s. Keeping her cool, Jade stands and tells Chachi to call them if he hears anything about their pets. Then Jade and Burdine leave.

Burdine, who doesn’t know anything about what Jade saw, announces that that was a waste of her time. But Jade breaks it down for her. She tells the magazine editor that Joanie’s not missing at all. Jade describes the pet blanket, the fur and adds that the pet bed was still warm.

The two rivals come to the same conclusion; Chachi is the kidnapper. They decide that they’re going to sneak into the factory to look for clues. Jade says, “Let’s go around the back.” Because who needs to worry about breaking and entering when you have a passion for fashion?

Back at Bratz HQ, the girls are getting worried. Cloe suggests that they put up some more missing pet flyers. Sasha announces that she got a message from Jade that Chachi is the petnapper. Cameron, sensing that something proactive needs to be done, says that he’s going to over to Chachi’s house/office/factory/environmental disaster. Sasha calls the police.

At the factory, Burdine and Jade sneak in with Burdine complaining loudly the entire way about everything. Burdine spots a rat and both of the women scream. Just then, they hear barking.

The pair run upstairs and into a hallway. There is en entire room with huge cloths over cages. Jade and Burdine quickly locate their own animals out of the dozens that are there. They have their happy reunions. Even though Burdine imagines Royale running past her for a plate of food.

But before they can celebrate, they hear Chachi’s voice say, “Hello, ladies,” in a suitably creepy tone. The two women turn to see Chachi and Max. Jade demands to know why he kidnapped all of the animals. Chachi explains that no one is buying his line of pet accessories. So he has to promote the line by winning the pet contest.

Chachi tells them that he hired Max to kidnap the competition. He adds that he is going to put the two women into the pet food processor and serve them as dog food. Which is not only gross, illegal and ew, but also rather dark for a kid’s show.

Anyway, Jade kicks Max and manages to evade him. But Joanie, who looks like a chihuahua, corners Burdine. Jade grapples with Max, just as Cameron makes his triumphant entrance. Chachi immediately hits him over the head with a pipe. Burdine, who saw Chachi come up behind him, had plenty of time to warn him, but she just gasped instead.

Micha attacks Chachi, because Micha fully understands the situation and knows exactly what’s going on. Chachi throws Micha off with so much force it’s amazing the cat lives.

Cameron gets up and throws Chachi to the ground, even though the older man is about 10 times his size. Jade then calls for help. She’s on an elevated conveyor belt headed towards the clanging jaws of the food processor. She could just walk against the conveyor, which isn’t even moving that fast. But she just stands there, like an dullard, waiting to be rescued.

Quick to help, Cameron comes to her rescue. But as he leans over a railing to get to Jade, the railing gives out and he is left dangling above the ground. Burdine then decides to be helpful, for once in her life, and throws Jade a large metal hook. She grabs on and is pulled to safety.

Seeing that he’s defeated, Chachi tries to run. Burdine, who has figured out all of the controls for the factory, dumps an entire vat of dog food at him. He probably would have suffocated and died. Which is what I’m going to assume happens to him.

In the next scene, it’s the big pet show. It’s down to the finales. Just Burdine and Jade. Burdine walks out with Royale in front of the judges, including Byron Powell. In the crowd, the Tweevils discuss how Burdine was able to bribe all of the judges that year.

Then Jade walks with Micha. The Asian Bratz girl holds out hoops and her pet diligently jumps through them. Everyone cheers for her. Then the announcer comes up.

She asks each person what they would do with the prize money, should they win it. Jade says that she will donate it all to Yasmin’s animal shelter group. Burdine says that she will buy shoes. The crowd boos at her selfishness. Under pressure, Burdine says that she will also donate all of the money to the animal shelter.

Burdine is announced as the winner. The huge check comes out and it’s already made out to Yasmin’s animal group, Pet Protectors. Burdine demands to know what’s going on and Jade reminds her that she promised to donate the money.

One thing I don’t like is forced charity. No one should ever be forced or pressure to do the right thing. People need to do the right thing because that’s what they believe, not just because of pressure. If Burdine won the money she’s free to buy as many shoes as she wants. She doesn’t owe the money to anyone and shouldn’t be forced to give it up if she doesn’t want to. But in the Bratz world, charity is more important than people’s personal decisions about their own property.

Back at Bratz HQ, the girls wrap up the episode. Jade says that Micha came in second place, but the important thing is that Yasmin’s animal group got the prize money. The magazine published an article entitled “what your pet says about you.” Jade finishes by saying that the worst of enemies can work together for a worthy cause. But she adds, “Let’s hope it’s only once.”

As much as Pampered Petz annoyed me, this episode is even worse. Micha is Jade’s best accessory? What your pet says about you? Really? What’s even worse is that after this episode, Micha disappears. I had never heard of the cat before and I haven’t seen anything else with her yet.

Nothing like showing real pet ownership when pets just appear when needed and disappear whenever the plot doesn’t revolve around them. People wonder why pet owners are so irresponsible and aren’t willing to put the work, time and effort needed to care for an animal. But when they’re being shown that pets are an extension of yourself and there for your amusement, it becomes pretty clear why.

This is a review of an episode of the Bratz TV series. To read more reviews of Bratz episodes, Click here. To read Bratz movie reviews, Click here.

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