Bratz TV: S1E7: Class president drama

0 (3)The seventh episode of the Bratz TV show, Manicuring Candidate (Part 1, Part 2), is a strange episode. Not that the rest of the episodes are really on point. But this one is just bizarre.

Burdine becomes involves with the high school’s presidential election like it actually matters or has any baring on her business. Fair enough if she just doesn’t like to see the Bratz and wants them to fail. But it’s never explained why a grown woman takes so much time to make the lives of teenagers more difficult.

The episode starts out at Bratz Magazine HQ. Cloe is reading a reader’s letter. It’s from Dana and she asks the girl to run for class president. Saying that their school leader needs style and fashion and other things that a president doesn’t need. Cloe has a vision of herself in a top hat, riding in the back of a car like a beauty queen.

One of the other girls summon her back to reality. Cloe writes back that she’s so busy with with her school work, magazine duties and extracurriculars that she just can’t run. Meanwhile, the girls had on a music video of themselves and that switches over to a video of the Tweevils.

They introduce themselves and say that they are running for president and vice-president. Sasha asks the girls since when do the Tweevils care about Stiles High. The video shows the girls walking down the hallways at school, greeting the students. Kaycee announces that her dad will give everyone free nose jobs if the twins get elected. Because that’s practical and not at all weird. Especially since their dad is a podiatrist.

In Burdine’s office, she has just finished viewing the Tweevil’s campaign video. She calls it “woefully amateurish,” but adds that it gets the point across. Which makes me wonder what point she got across. That the twins are unintelligent? That they can say hi to people as they walk down a hallway?

The editor turns to her two interns and sees that they’re jumping rope together. Burdine asks them what they’re doing and they tell her that they’re burning calories. The twins say that the camera adds 10 pounds and they used two cameras so they now need to lose 20 pounds each.

Burdine calls them “morons”, but doesn’t tell them why they’re wrong. Or that they don’t need to lose weight in order to obtain some unattainable beauty standard. She just calls them “morons”.

Burdine then tells the girls to go hand out bumper sticker in order to cement their win against the Bratz. Which really says a lot. First off, who ever won a presidential election with bumper stickers? The idea that this will work just shows how superficial and silly high school student government really is. But also, the Bratz never said that they were running. So how are they going to beat the Bratz when they’re not even in the competition?

The next scene picks up with Dylan at school shooting his commercial for his campaign. He’s running for president as well. Which is strange because no one seems to really like him. Even the Bratz and they are the ones that hang out with him the most.

Eitan, who is shooting the commercial, tells Dylan that he doesn’t like his slogan (Dylan, the man with the plan). During this scene, it shows how the floor has been extensively marked with exact directions of where he is supposed to go. The set up for the shoot looks entirely professional. There are huge,professional lights around and Eitan is even sitting in a director’s chair.

Where did they get all of this equipment and is it really needed to shoot a short ad for a student government campaign? But anyway, Dylan reveals that he wants to be president in order to get chicks. Which is a good a reason as any to run for a student government office. He says that he wants Cloe to be his running mate. As the support from the Bratz will lock in the popular vote.

Seemingly forgetting about the commercial that he’s supposed to be shooting, he puts up a poster on a wall behind him. He mention that he’s the only person running right now. The Tweevils then enter and cover his entire flyer with a much larger poster of themselves.

At the magazine’s offices, the Tweevils get onto the elevator and they run into Cloe. They ask the blonde girl if she has seen their commercial. Cloe says that she had and asks them what they’ll do if they get elected. Kaycee announces that Burdine never told them that they would have to do stuff if they won.

Kirstee tells her twin to shut up, but Cloe has already heard everything she needs to. She asks what Burdine has to do with anything and the twins just laugh it off and say, “Nothing” innocently. Cloe gets off the elevator and finds herself in a dream sequence.

Everything around her is pink clouds. In the middle of her fantasy, she sees the school and approaches it, happily. But before she gets there, it’s covered over in the Your Thing bright pink. She sees the Tweevils saying “like” a million times over the heads of the poor students that will no doubt suffer under their leadership.

She then sees the Tweevils manipulating the students as marionettes on strings, with a monstrously large Burdine standing above them, moving the Tweevils on their own set of strings. Just then, the huge Burdine sees Cloe and chases after her. She puts Cloe into a swinging bird cage.

In the cage, the twins introduce themselves to her and start saying “yeah” and “like” all of their other annoying phrases. She runs and runs as their faces float up at her. Finally, Cloe makes it back to the Bratz Magazine office and bursts in. She’s about to tell the girls what’s going on, only to find her friends are all dressed in pink and talking like the Tweevils. Cloe wakes up in bed, screaming.

At the juice bar, Sasha, Jade and Yasmin are already assembled. Cloe arrives and announces that she won’t let the twins become president. She says that she has to run. Sasha volunteers to be her campaign manager. Yasmin calls speech writer and Jade calls image consultant.

Cloe adds that she has 15 minutes to sign up and the girls encourage her to go do so. In a fourth wall scene Yasmin tells the audience, “Campaign rule one: You gotta have a great team in place.” Cloe’s lucky that fashion is so closely linked to politics.

But she still has to sign up. The next scene shows Cloe skateboarding through the school. She passes Dylan, who tells her that he needs to talk to her, but she says that she doesn’t have time. She skates down a hallway and pulls down a banner for the Tweevils. Which is not just in bad taste, but probably against the rules of the campaign.

Anyway, she gets to the sign up sheet just in time and signs up. Dylan then catches up with her. He reveals that he wanted her to be his vice president. Dylan adds that he wanted to run with her and not against her. But seeing as she has already signed up on her own, he walks off in defeat. Cloe announces that the plot has just thickened. A fantasy scene starts with Cloe and Dylan boxing each other. There’s just so many things going on in this scene that it’s difficult to know what to look at first.

Student class presidents are notoriously elected by nothing more than a popularity contest and hold no real power. It’s not as if being elected president really matters. It might look nice on her college transcripts, but that’s about it. But it’s also strange how seriously everyone is taking this election. It seems that they will expend more energy on the election than on their actual term in office.

Anyway, back in the office building’s elevator, the Tweevils are asking each other how much longer they have to be nice to people. Kaycee says that smiling is exhausting. The step off on their floor and hear the Bratz in their office, cheering.

The girls go to investigate. They overhear the Bratz doing their cheer for Cloe (“Cloe’s got the smarts! Cloe’s got the heart!” etc). Yasmin announces, “Rule two. Just because it’s politics, doesn’t mean it can’t be fun.” Which is so true. Just think of how much better C-SPAN would be if there were cheerleaders prancing around doing cheers!

Cloe tells her friends that she loves the cheer and the girls start practicing again. Outside, Kaycee is repeating the chant. Kirstee kindly tells her that she has no talent. The twins immediately go to Burdine. The older woman pitches a fit. Clearly, the cheer was the death knell that she heard. Burdine instructs the girls to “get ugly.” The Tweevils start making monkey noises for some unexplained reason.

Meanwhile, in town, Dylan is plastering the walls of several buildings with campaign stickers. Just then, the Bratz come and put up a huge banner for their leader, which covers most of Dylan’s hard work. Then Cloe comes riding around the corner in the Bratz’s car, throwing out flyers.

I have a lot of questions about this scene. First of all, who decided it was an awesome idea to waste that much paper? Also, as environmentally concerned as the Bratz sometimes claim to be, why are they littering? But mostly, why are they campaigning outside of school? Is their town inhabited by only teenagers who attend Stiles High? Wouldn’t their work be better conducted inside of school grounds, where they can reach more students and less random people in the community?

Without any answers in question, the next scene picks up in the school lunch room. The Bratz strut in like they own the place and Sasha gets onto a bullhorn to start rapping about voting for Cloe. I had never seen Sasha rap before and I hope that it never happens again.

After the mini-pep rally is over, Dylan tells Cloe that he doesn’t want to see her humiliated when all of the votes come in. So he graciously re-offers to let her be his running mate. Cloe refuses. Then this happens:

Dylan: Fine. And may the best man win.
Cloe: (Sincerely.) Hey, thanks.
Dylan: And I do mean “man”. Ha ha!

Cloe stalks off and runs right into the Tweevils. They start to ask her questions and video tape her responses. The twins ask the blonde girl what she would do if she was elected. Cloe responds that she would raise money for new computers and the science lab. She would always raise money for “styling” new uniforms. Because she can’t say anything without it coming back to fashion in some way.

The Tweevils are immediately bored with this. They ask why anyone would care. Cloe tells them that this is important. They press her about what she would do for the students and Cloe informs them that her motto is “express yourself!” and she would make sure that everyone has a say in student government. She finishes by declaring that she would make the school a better place.

After she’s done, the Tweevils tell her thanks for sharing and they walk off asking why Burdine wanted footage of Cloe saying all of that stuff. Meanwhile, the viewer wonders how she’s going to include everyone in student government. Also, how self-expression has anything to do with politics.

At the other end of the lunch room, meanwhile, Dylan is standing on a table. He announces that Cloe might not be as nice as she seems. He notes that she helps little old ladies across the street. But then he asks. What happens to them after that?! Eitan, who was filming, explains that Dylan is behind in the polls and thinks that this will help him. But Eitan is disillusioned by Dylan’s last ditch political effort. He stalks off, deserting Dylan, and informing him that he’s voting for Cloe.

Dylan barely has a chance to express his frustration before everyone starts laughing at him. On another table, Kirstee taps on a pot, demanding attention. I really feel sorry for whomever has to clean all of these tables that the kids have been standing around on all day.

Anyway, she announces that the Tweevils have a new commercial that they want to screen. They then show the interview with Cloe. But it’s been edited so much that she now says that the students don’t matter and she wants to win because she’s better than everyone else. As intriguing as this is, the technology is not there to do it, yet.

But the students buy it. They gasp him horror and boo at Cloe. The Bratz are scandalized. Sasha announces that Cloe isn’t going to take this lying down! But Cloe has already entered freak out mode and announces that she wants to give up.

Sasha, Jade and Yasmin walk down the hall, discussing how to make a comeback from this campaign disaster. Yasmin has already written a speech about how the Tweevils lied. Jade is doing a campaign to talk about Cloe’s charity work. She figures that no one that self-serving and narcissistic would do charity work.

Which sounds logical, but isn’t always true. As Robbie Williams once sang; “You work in charity, for your own cause.” Anyway, they catch up with Cloe and find her taking down her campaign posters. Cloe announces that the entire school hates her laments that no one has ever really hated her before.

She goes into one of her moments where she declares, “I just want to grow a wart on my chin and move to a cobblestone hut where the angry villagers can pelt me with sticks and stones.” The girls try to talk her out of it, but it’s no use. Cloe has resigned the race.

After school, Cloe is walking down the street alone. She suddenly sees a confetti explosion and looks around. There are balls of confetti exploding everywhere. The twins are riding around in Burdine’s car to promote themselves as candidates. As they seem to be interested in getting the general population of Stilesville to vote for them too.

They stop and talk to Cloe. Both girls mock her for dropping out of the election. They then toss her a confetti ball and drive off. The ball explodes in Cloe’s hands, most likely mortally wounding her.

Back in Burdine’s office, the twins are jumping around in victory. Burdine is standing on her desk. Which I suppose is now a thing in this episode. The editor announces, “I’ve seen the future, girls, and it’s coming up pink.” Which totally makes sense. Once you win the office of class president, world domination can’t be far behind, right?

But just then, Cloe exits the elevator and conveniently overhears the celebration. She walks down the hall to investigate. In the room, Kaycee talks about how upset Cloe was when she saw the commercial. The Tweevils then ask Burdine what her plan is.

Burdine announces that she will provide free copies of Your Thing Magazine to all of the students and ban copies of Bratz Magazine, for starters. Burdine announces that this way, Your Thing can capture, “the ever elusive youth market.” Which is a weird thing to say, considering that this is a teen magazine. The only market it should have is the youth market.

The editor finishes by announcing that she wants to put Bratz out of business, all by wining this election. Cloe then runs off back to Bratz HQ to announce that she’s back in the race. She says that the Tweevils set her up and reveals Burdine’s dastardly plan. The girls rejoice and there is a cut away of fireworks.

In the next scene, the Bratz skateboard up to the juice bar to find a depressed-looking Dylan. Cloe tells him that they should run together as co-presidents. Dylan admits that in the cafeteria, he realized that Cloe cares about the issues surrounding the presidency and his campaign was based on selfishness. He adds that he resigned.

Cloe freaks out as now, only the Tweevils are on the ballot. Sasha informs them that they can get Cloe back into the race, but they have to get 100 signatures from students in order to do so. Dylan adds that they have to expose the Tweevils. Sasha states that they have to write a killer speech for the upcoming debate.

And guess what? They have to do all of this in 3 hours! The clock is ticking. Jade gets signatures. Yasmin writes the speech with Cloe’s help. They go through a small forest-worth of drafts.

Back in Burdine’s office, the editor is watching Cloe’s fake commercial. Even though it was recorded in the lunch room, the commercial is now backed in the Bratz’s office. Anyway, with Eitan’s help, Dylan hangs upside down outside of the office and starts filming through the glass. He gets a perfect shot of Burdine saying that together, she and the Tweevils, will destroy Cloe and the girl will be so damaged that she will never run for anything, ever again.

Cut to the debate. Shit is getting serious now. The Tweevils are hanging all over the podium. Kirstee asks why bother giving a speech when she’s running unopposed. Just then, Eitan rolls the tape of Burdine with her minions that they shot earlier that day.

In the end of the clip, Burdine turns to the camera she cackles with little vampire fangs instead of her regular teeth. When everyone asks where that came from, Sasha informs them that she photoshopped the video. Which is ironic, because wasn’t that just what Cloe was complaining about the Tweevils doing to their video of her interview?

The Tweevils gasp in horror as their dastardly plot is revealed. But Cloe steps up and announces that they don’t need to stoop to the twin’s level. She says that they will continue on with the debate. Cloe takes the first question.

The first question is, “What’s the biggest problem facing Stiles High today?” Cloe answers that it’s lack of funds. She says that they need to raise money in order to update their school. But the impression given by the school is that it has no problem with funding. So why is a lack of money their biggest issue? But anyway, it’s then Kirstee’s turn to answer and she announces that the lighting in the girls’ bathroom is really bad. Kaycee laughs at her and the two start to fight.

Cloe goes on to say that she cares about the future and adds that Stiles High need a candidate, “Who won’t back down from a fight. Even if it makes her unpopular.” Which seems odd because she did back down from a fight because it made her unpopular. She was out of the race before she got over that fact.

But Yasmin then pops up with another Campaign Rule. “Campaign rule 4. Practice what you preach.” Which seems to be a bit mocking, considering that Cloe really isn’t. Then Cloe finishes her speech and the Bratz do their cheer with some maracas. For some reason. The twins are still fighting when the students break out into applause. Although it’s never stated, Cloe won the election. Of course. Was there any doubt?

The wrap up takes place as Bratz HQ, where Cloe has another letter from her superfan, Dana. The girl writes that she was so inspired by Cloe that she wants to run for class president next year. She asks her idol what it takes to run for office.

Cloe spews the normal crap. Believe in yourself and put the needs of others first. Neither of which she did during the election. Then Sasha adds that you have to have a scorching team. Because where would Cloe be without her friends? She’d be dead. Dylan then adds a great running mate. Even though he really didn’t do much for their joint campaign. But all of the Bratz agree and then they dance. End of episode.

Although it’s rather refreshing for a Bratz episode to show real problems, such as a school not having enough money and needed their facilities updated, this doesn’t change that the entire episode is not about the needs of the school, but the drama of the students. As for all of this fund raising that Cloe promised to do, where is that? Why doesn’t that factor into the show again? It looks like an empty campaign promise. But this Bratz. And empty pretty much describes it.

This is a review of an episode of the Bratz TV series. To read more reviews of Bratz episodes, Click here. To read Bratz movie reviews, Click here.