A world made for women

Queen_playing_cardsI have heard the theory that the entire world was made and constructed not just with women in mind, but exclusively for women, on an MRA site. Apparently, women need to stop their bitching about inequality because men are so enslaved to them that every single, small thing they do is because of women. Most recently, I saw this theory put into practice on a Cracked article. However, I find this theory flimsy and demeaning to both sexes.

The theory basically states that men are so obsessed with sex, and propagating the species, that everything men have ever done has revolved around impressing and pleasing women. The writer of the Cracked article says that sports cars, sports teams, skyscrapers, all of these were build in order to make women like men. Industry, economy, society, was all just one big attempt to get men laid as thoroughly as possible.

But honesty, if this world was built with me in mind, men did a really shitty job. Throughout this world, women are systematically abused, mistreated, raped and even murdered. Even in the United States, which is supposed to be a far better place for women than say, the Middle East, women who have been sexually assaulted are so often treated with contempt and suspicion by the very people who are supposed to be fighting the injustice done against them.

Women make less money than men do, women face staggeringly outdated social stereotypes about everything from their hair to their mannerisms. Gay women are discriminated against, trans women even more so. If this world was made for us to like men the best, it seems that men have missed the mark. The people with the most power, privilege and abilities in society is always… men.

Furthermore, I don’t know what it’s like to be a man but the idea that men are so obsessed with sex that women appear to be nothing but sexual objects at all time is disturbing and sounds like the hallmark of an unstable person. A man really can’t be around a woman without thinking of her sexually? In that case, men and women can’t be friends, underage girls are being sized up for the baby-making potential, older women are fair game as well. Men don’t have types or preferences when it comes to a mate. Anyone with opposite sexual organs will do.

If all that matters to a man is sex, when why would be ever break up with a woman that he’s dating? If she’s not having sex with him now, she would after they got married. So with the promise of a sexual partner, what’s to stop the relationship from working? Men are so seemingly single-minded that personality conflicts, timing, chemistry, etc, would be inconsequential because the woman has the vagina and there is no arguing with that.

Also, men can manage to do things for themselves without the need to impress women. Men have hobbies and interests that aren’t bound to lure in the opposite sex. Sports teams for one is a bit mystifying to me. I find men who are  obsessed with sports a huge turn off and I’ve never dated a man who was devoted to a sport or a team. If the entire game was created in order to impress me, then why am I and millions of other women not impressed?

But, of course, this hypothetical only talks about straight and cisgender men. If pussy is the primary motivating factor for men, then why would gay men have anything to live for? Men who are attracted to other men, by this logic, would have nothing to keep them going at all. They wouldn’t care about careers or work or personal fulfillment or hobbies or interest because there’s no vagina dangling from a stick to keep them on the treadmill. This theory does not account for the idea that men are motivated by other men, either in competition or sexually, at all. And what about trans men? What about anyone who is male-bodied and identifies as anything other than as a man?

It also occurs to me that historically, women had so little standing and autonomy that their being impressed was inconsequential. Marriages were made by men and for men. Women were property that went from one party’s hands to another’s. Impressing a woman, at that stage in society, would be somewhat akin to impressing your dining room table. It would be completely unnecessary and a little ridiculous.

In the end, I’m not sure if this theory is exclusive content of the MRAs or just something that all men have kicked around at one point, but I find it highly problematic. As much as these men want to act like sex is the first, second, third, and only thing that motivates them to do anything, the idea falls apart under closer examination.

While I’m not a man, I happen to be a human being, just like men are, and even with a high sex drive, I recognized that there were other things in the world besides sex and how to acquire it. Men are not so removed from women that there is nothing in common between us and a man who can’t do anything without linking it to the promise of sex, might have a problem that he needs to talk to a therapist about it.