Relationships are complicated. Sometimes people develop feelings for people that are already involved or fall out of love with the person that they’re involved with. Sometimes people want to pursue someone regardless of their relationship status. But if someone can’t respect an existing relationship, there’s no reason to believe that they would respect a relationship with the person that they’re pursuing.
Some people believe that “stealing” a mate away from someone else is romantic and dramatic and an ego boost. But what it says to me that that person is selfishly thinking of themselves and their best interests and not the hurt, pain and problems that they’re going to cause to the people in the relationship. While I’ve heard some people claim that mate stealing is alright if the person is unhappy in their relationship and the new romance gives them a way out, that’s no way to build a relationship.
Someone who is unhappy in a relationship needs to leave. They don’t need someone else to come in and tell them that they need to leave. There’s no reason for a third party to get involved in what’s going on. While there’s something to be said for helping someone get out of an abusive relationship, but when someone gets out of an abusive relationship, they probably need some time off and not be pressured into getting into a new relationship right away with their alleged savior.
Anyway, as much as some men think that women should be flattered and honored to receive their attention, no matter how they are otherwise attached, hitting on someone while knowing that they’re in a relationship sends a clear message that relationships are not important to the pursuer and are seen as easily removed and rearranged. Someone who sees people and their attachments as disposable and not worthy of their consideration is not someone who will make a good boyfriend or spouse. As romantic as it seems to love someone so much that their current significant other is brushed off as an afterthought, the implications of doing this should not sit well with the person that is being pursued.
Relationships can be complicated and difficult. No one one the outside really knows what happens between two people and shouldn’t inject themselves into the middle of the relationship to remodel it as they see fit. If someone respects relationships, they need to respect all of them. Even if they’re between someone that the person wants to date.