I had a dream the other night that I was trapped with a bunch of people in a house. There were talks of the house being haunted, but I, ever the skeptic, informed everyone that they were wrong. Then weird shit started happening. A bouquet of roses flew across the room, people walked into rooms then vanished, a woman who wasn’t part of the group entered a room. The entire time I’m sitting on the floor insisting that there’s a logical explanation for all of this. Then I freaked out and started throwing my scrapbooking punches that had somehow materialized in the room with me.
I learned that “chocolate diamonds” were bullshit years ago. I never gave it much thought because I wasn’t that interested in jewelry. But every time I see a commercial for those bullshit diamonds, it irks me. Chocolate diamonds are just poor quality diamonds that used to be worthless. They were just shined up and marketed to be some super fancy, beautiful form of diamond. It’s not. It’s crap. And you’re paying for that shit.
It’s strange how someone that doesn’t really care about you wants to still control you and complains when they can’t.
If I did a gender reveal party with a food-colored cake, I would tell everyone, pink for a girl and blue for a boy. Then someone would cut the cake and it would be green inside. I’d be all like, this shit is unneeded and my child can tell me what gender they are. Needless to say, I won’t be doing a gender reveal party.
I told a friend I need to go back to Disney World so I can use up all of my Disney scrapbooking materials. He laughed because he somehow thinks that my activities shouldn’t be dictated based on what scrapbooking materials I have. Which is clearly insane.
Atheists are some of the best debaters that I’ve ever known. We know about logical fallacies, we stay cool despite personal attacks, we counter with logic and facts and stick to the topic. For a lot of atheists, debate is the cornerstone of our existence. We constantly have to defend our thoughts and ideals. So when I see someone who isn’t an atheist throw down with someone that is and knows how to debate, I kind of feel sorry for the other person. It’s like getting into a fight with Bruce Banner then discovering that he’s the Incredible Hulk.
Tim asked if I wanted to make a porno with him. I said I would write the script.
1. Find a MiST that’s super long and figure it won’t be that tough.
2. Start MiSTing and realize that you’ve been MiSTing for hours and you’re only in the middle.
3. Keep MiSTing out of sheer, hard-headed determination.
4. Finish the MiST after many, many, many more hours of work.
5. Completely forget about the time and effort it takes to do a MiST.
6. Go back to step 1.
I am surrounded by carbs! Entire aisles of the grocery store are all carbs. The soda aisle, the cookie and crackers aisle, the chips aisle, the cereal aisle, the ice cream aisle. Carbs are a staple of the American diet! And not eating them is fucking hard.
Some girls want to wear tiaras when they get married. I’m not really into the whole princess thing, but if I wore a crown with my wedding dress, I would wear a crown the size of the Drag Race one. Go big or go home, bitches.
I’m finding that most tours if you have problems, it’s with the adults, not the kids. Which is a bit refreshing. Because there’s a hell of a lot more kids than adults.
It’s sometimes funny when people think that they know why I did something and then I hear my alleged motivations and it’s not even close. I just want to tell them to to back to the drawing board and try again.
I’ve been using the Stevia Leaf Sweet Drops to sweeten my tea at home. I just made a pot and was screwing the lid back on when I got a little of the liquid on my thumb. Not thinking, I licked it off. BAD, BAD, BAD idea. OMG, worst taste ever.
Sometimes I think that it’s super unfair that feminists are labeled as not having a sense of humor. But then sometimes I meet a feminist that will turn a completely innocent and ridiculous joke into an assault on someone or something. Then I’m like, you’re the person that this myth was started from and you’re perpetuating it. Seriously. People need to calm the fuck down when it comes to some things. Not everything is deathly serious and insulting to groups of people. Sometimes there are just jokes. Sometimes no one gets hurt by said jokes and it’s not your job to pick up the mantle for an oppressed people that don’t even care.