Bratz TV: S1E11: Hypnotism and other shit these assholes are pushing

hqdefault (8)Episode 11 of the Bratz TV show, Bothered, Bewitched, Burdined, starts out with Cloe skateboarding down the street. While it seems like she’s just out for a ride on a nice day, she’s actually in the middle of a photo shoot. Cameron is snapping her picture as she rides around and does tricks.

The picture taking continues as the animators start to use distortions and different color saturations over the still images. Do I need to mention how disturbingly similar this is to the opening of Plumbers Don’t Wear Ties? Because it is.

Anyway, the cheap animation tricks soon stop and Cameron announces that the, “Magazine’s fitness spread is going to rule.” A fitness spread on skateboarding? I can just imagine. Yasmin then enters the frame and does some skateboarding as well.

Ask Cameron continues taking pictures, Sasha and Jade run up. They announce that Bratz Magazine has won that year’s Tween Voice Award. Better than that, London Milton is flying in to present the award in a few days time! London Milton, of course, is the socialite that Yasmin was kidnapped with. I’m sure seeing her will bring back so many good memories for the pair. It will also save the trouble of animating another character.

Meanwhile, in Burdine’s office, the editor in chief is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a product called the Hypno-zapper. It works quite simply. You attach a small device to the victim’s PDA, then activate the laptop unit that comes with it. The subject is then hypnotized and under your complete control.

The commercial demonstrates by showing a person clucking like a chicken and doing other embarrassing things. Figuring that this is finally the way that she will bring down the Bratz, Burdine orders a unit immediately. I have a lot to say about hypnosis, but for now, let’s just say that hypnosis doesn’t work like that.

At the juice bar, the Bratz girls are toasting to their success with smoothies. Cloe says that she will accept the award with grace and dignity. The girls, not wanting to miss out, then start fighting over who will actually accept the award. It doesn’t seem to occur to them that they can all do it together. They have to argue about who will get the honor.

While they shout at each other, like the awesome BFFs that they are, Kirstee and Kaycee are on top of the juice bar. They have over heard that their rivals are receiving the award and can’t even imagine Burdine’s reaction. Needless to say, the Bratz getting recognition that their magazine didn’t receive is not going to sit well with her.

The next day, a man in black comes to Burdine’s office, where she brushing Royale, her dog. He drops off a package and she picks it up in delight. It’s the Hypno-zapper! She shreds the packaging and actives the device. Before she can test it out, the Tweevils enter with their bad news.

They tell their boss that the Bratz have snagged the Fierce and Funky Fashion award. Burdine then comes up with her master plan. She announces to the twins that, “I’ll hypnotize as many Bratz as I can and convince them to humiliate themselves on stage. They’ll be an overnight laughing stock and their magazine will go down in flames.”

For someone who talks so dastardly, her plans are always so cartoonishly harmless and silly. Will she make the Bratz wear stripes will plaid? Will she make them call something “da bomb”? Will she force them to give up their magazine and announce that they’re going to go into really unfashionable careers?

Eager to test out her plot, Burdine takes Kaycee’s PDA and hypnotizes both of the twins. It works perfectly and she orders them to perform a variety of tasks. Partly to demonstrate her power over them and probably partly because she is really just that sadistic. But to be honest, she regularly orders them to do ridiuclous, thoughtless things, so this is not even a good parlor trick.

Back at Bratz Magazine HQ, the girls are still arguing over who will be accepting the award. No one has suggested drawing straws or anything to break up the stalemate. Cloe says that her Ask Cloe column is the most popular, so it’s natural for her to accept the award. Jade says that she does all of the funky clothes for the magazine and what’s the name of the award but the Fierce and Funk Fashion award.

Sasha says that she’s the best leader out of the group. She seems to believe that being the bossiest should afford her special privileges. Yasmin, always the voice of reason, suggests that they flip a coin. Even though coins only have two sides and there are four choices.

Before the teenagers can continue arguing, they hear barking coming from the hallway that they share with Your Thing magazine. They go to investigate and find Burdine, the Tweevils and Royale in the hallway. Burdine explains that the twins sat on their nail glue and now they’re stuck together.

The two blondes are stuck together at the ass. Even though, if they sat on nail glue, wouldn’t they be stuck to the chair that they sat on? Even so, nail glue is tough, but it’s not made to stick on fabric and would rip off pretty easily. Sometimes it doesn’t even stick on nails very well and that’s what it was formulated to do.

Anyway, the Bratz, who are always eager to help out, go to help the twins. Burdine tries to take Sasha’s PDA, but the girl puts it in her purse and zips it before she can get access to it. Two Bratz grab Kaycee and the other two grab Kirstee. They pull until they separate the girls, ripping their matching pink dresses.

Without a thank you, it’s presumed that they just go back to their office. Later, in the bathroom, a busy place in that office, Sasha enters and sets her purse down on the counter, in front of Burdine. The editor is about to go search for her PDA when Yasmin enters and goes into a different stall. Burdine tries again, but Yasmin exits, followed by Cloe.

Then Yasmin gets a tissue and leaves. Burdine pretends to drop her tweezers and grabs Sasha’s purse. But she doesn’t have enough time to implant the device before Sasha finally emerges. Burdine turns to leave and falls on her tweezers as she goes.

Later, on the roof, Burdine is standing above the building’s skylight, looking down at Bratz HQ. She lowers herself through the roof and into the building. She manages to grab Sasha’s PDA and finally implant the device. Then she falls. No one seems to notice.

Sasha later enters Bratz Magazine Headquarters, presumably after Burdine has made her egress. The girl is explaining to Jade that she has the best speaking voice, so she should collect the award. Clearly, they haven’t figured out who should be getting the award. What happened to Yasmin’s flipping a coin idea?

The African-American girl goes to check her PDA for messages and the Hypno-zapper is activated. Burdine immediately hypnotizes Sasha and when Jade walks over to ask her friend what’s wrong, she gets her as well. They act like robots. Burdine tells them to clog and they start dancing. Satisfied, Burdine cackles, “By tomorrow night, the Bratz will be mortified out of existence!”

Later that day, Sasha and Jade both still under Burdine’s control, Cloe and Yasmin enter and ask what their friends are doing. Burdine tells them to act normal. Which, Cloe and Yasmin somehow don’t hear. Cloe brings up the award again, but Sasha and Jade immediately tell their friends to accept the award. Somehow not suspicious from that, Burdine then announces, “Perfection!” Over the Hypno-zapper. Which they also somehow don’t hear.

Back at the juice bar, inspired by Burdine’s exploits, the Tweevils are trying trying some amateur hypnotism themselves. The twins are seated on the top of the straw roof and are holding a stick with a charm on the end. Kirstee tells her twin, “We’ll make Cameron and Dylan fall in love with us and then they’ll buy us stuff!”

Before Kirstee can even finish her sentence, Kaycee has been hypnotized. Just then, Dylan and Cameron arrive, with Dylan relating his latest rejection from a girl. Which makes one wonder why the Tweevils are going through such lengths to convince Dylan to date one of them. He seems happy to date any female that breathes.

Cameron then notices the dangling charm. Instead of falling under its spell, he grabs it in an effort to figure out what it is. When he pulls on the charm, the girls both fall of the roof, onto the ground below. Cameron looks at his friend in confusion and Dylan explains, “What can I say, bro? I’m irresistible. Women fall for me.”

Meanwhile, the Bratz are checking out the venue where they where the Tween Voice awards will be hosted that night. Cloe and Yasmin are super excited to look around. Sasha and Jade, both still hypnotized, listen to their orders from Burdine. She tells the girls to make sure that Cloe and Yasmin can’t appear in the show that night. She adds, “Do whatever it takes.”

On stage, Cloe is imagining herself accepting the award with all of her friends ecstatically clapping for her. Yasmin is quick to bring her back to reality as it still hasn’t been decided who will accept the award. Just then, a stage light falls and almost hits Cloe.

The girls look around for their friends, but can’t find them anywhere. More lights suddenly fall to the stage. One swings down on its safety cable and almost hits the girls. Cloe starts one of her characteristic freak outs. Both girls ask again where their friends are.

Yasmin then sees the dressing rooms and wonders if Sasha and Jade have gone there. But then Cloe sees the catwalk and can’t resist the opportunity to strut down it. She walks, thanking everyone for the award. She also mentions that she had a nanny, in her list of thank yous.

Yasmin just shakes her head at her friend. Underneath the stage, Sasha is sawing at one of the supports with Burdine’s voice ordering, “Faster, faster!” as she goes. Cloe starts to wobble as the stage gives way. Yasmin leaps forward to help her and the girls both slide to the end of the runway.

Just then, the girls see their friends approaching and ask them what’s going on. Burdine orders her hypnotized lackeys not to blow their cover. When Cloe and Yasmin ask their two friends where they were, Sasha and Jade explain that they were just looking for them. Sasha and Jade then tell their friends that they need to relax and de-stress and they know just how to do it.

In Cameron’s garage, Dylan is regaling his friend with yet another tale of him getting rejected by a girl. Outside, the Tweevils haven’t given up trying to hypnotize their love interests. They have set up a speaker inside Cameron’s garage and they are talking to them through a microphone.

Kirstee orders the two boys to do everything for her and buy her presents. But the guys are far from under their control. They walk over to the speaker and immediately recognize the nasally voice. “They’ve got to be kidding!” Cameron said, in disbelief.

Dylan uses this to once again prove that he’s irresistible. He yanks the cord on the speaker and both girls fly forward, against the wall of the garage. As per usual, Kaycee hurts her nose. Kirstee announces to the two young men that they suck at being hypnotized. Kaycee helpfully adds that Jade and Sasha were much easier to gain control of. Just then, the guys realize what’s going on.

Back at Cloe’s house, Jade is giving Yasmin “organic face lotion”. The teenager puts it on her face without hesitation. Jade hands her a mirror and a few seconds later, Yasmin has developed strange green blotches all over her face. Which could mean that she has multiple organ failure. We can only hope.

Jade pretends to be upset and announces that she must be allergic to it. The girl adds that she must feel terrible, what with her skin reaction and all of the nasty things that Cloe has been saying about her. Yasmin, forgetting that her fucking skin is green, demands to know what things.

In Cloe’s bedroom, Sasha is giving her friend some “aromatherapy”. Sasha sprays her with an aerosol can. Cloe announces that this therapy stinks and asks to have it off of her. Sasha says that this has never happened before. She tells her friend that she must feel bad about all of the nasty things Yasmin has been saying about her. Cloe asks what things.

In the next scene, Cloe goes downstairs to confront Yasmin. The two girls, for some reason, don’t even suspect that something else is going on. They are completely prepared to take each other to task for talking shit.

Cloe accuses Yasmin of calling her a, “Conceited, self-absorbed, spotlight hog.” Yasmin shoots back that Cloe allegedly stated, “I’m a condescending egghead whose bad poetry isn’t fit for a cereal box!” I’m glad that someone told Yasmin that. Cause I’ve been saying it for ages. Anyway, the two begin to yell at each other.

Jade then interjects, “Girls, girls, at least you’re both pretty.” Which, seeing that this is the Bratz is not that much of an ironic thing to say. Sasha and Jade then put both of their friends into soothing foot baths in order to calm them down. But the girls are still arguing back and forth about what each girl allegedly said.

Just then, the Tweevils show up to go with Sasha and Jade to the Tween Voice awards. All four do the twins’ trademark booty bump. Yasmin, finally, realizes that something is wrong. Jade tells her friends that they’re now hanging with fashion winners now. Yasmin and Cloe try to stand up in protest, but find that their feet are stuck.

The hypnotized Bratz when announce that their foot baths were actually quick drying cement. The girls are now trapped in the solid cement. When I first saw this scene, I raised an eyebrow. I then looked up cement and found that even getting it on your jeans and a little amount seeping into your skin can cause chemical burns.

Should someone get cement on their skin they would need to contact a doctor. Having both of your bare feet place in a bucket of cement would probably result in a double amputation. Cement is dangerous and not a plot point. I know this is Bratz, but still. It’s not a harmless thing that can be used in a joking way.

Back at Your Thing, Burdine, who has been listening into the entire scene, celebrates her assured victory. Back at the house, Sasha and Jade are gone with the Tweevils and Cloe and Yasmin are left to realize exactly how silly they’ve been. Cloe tells her friend that she would never say thinks like that about her.

Probably because she couldn’t come up with them herself. Yasmin tells Angel that she would never talk behind her back either. The girls recommit themselves to being BFFs once again and air hug. Because nothing can tear friendship asunder.

Back at Burdine’s office, she is still planning on how she’s going to bring down the Bratz. She announces, “I’ll embarrass them globally, discredit their magazine and ruin their lives!” It seems strange that Burdine never once thought that maybe she should just create a better product and outsell the Bratz that way. But never mind.

At the house, Cloe is trying to hop around in her bucket and she promptly falls over. Then, Cameron and Dylan enter, ready to save the day! Cameron laughs at the girls’ plight and refers to them as bookends. The girls implore the guys to help them, saying that they have to get to the award ceremony before Burdine does something terrible.

Cameron observes the quick drying cement on the girls and announces, “This looks like a job for a mach 7 pry bar and an electric jackhammer.” For those of us keeping track at home, mach is a measurement of speed in fluid mechanics. It has nothing to do with a pry bar. Also, trying to use an electric jackhammer on someone encased in cement would probably kill them. Although, as we already established, someone in this situation should most likely already be dead.

Cloe rolls her eyes and asks, “What is it with boys and their toys?” She then asks the guys to get her her exfoliant. She informs them that if it can scrape away dry skin then it can scrape away this muck. Uh, what? Dry skin is not the same thing as cement. Like, at all.

At the awards ceremony, London Milton takes the stage, greeting the crowd. Sasha and Jade are standing in the wings, all wearing their Bratz Rock Angelz outfits. Again, because of the animation budget. The Bratz would never be caught dead in the same outfit twice for such an important event.

As London introduces the two Bratz, Yasmin and Cloe enter. There is no sign of the concrete or the severe chemical burns that they would have received from it. Burdine then remotely orders the girls under her control to act like the Tweevils. Sasha and Jade run out onto the stage, waving.

Burdine then cackles, “This is more fun than short changing Girl Scouts!” Jade and Sasha take the award when Yasmin and Cloe accost Burdine and the Tweevils. Cloe whips the laptop out of Burdine’s hands and it falls to the ground. Everyone dives after it and a struggle ensues.

On stage, Sasha and Jade are both clogging. Backstage, the Tweevils are involved and they fight each other for the laptop. Burdine gets shoved into a rolling chair and is pushed across the stage with such force that she flies in back of the still clogging Bratz.

Cloe finally gets her hands on the laptop and demands that her friends stop clogging immediately. She tells Kool Kat and Bunny Boo to be themselves. “Express yourself!” She emplores.

Sasha and Jade immediately snap back to their regular selves and without a question as to what they were doing, clogging on stage in front of London Milton and a huge crowd, accept their award. Then, because they really are back to normal, they introduce Cloe and Yasmin and say that they couldn’t have done it without them.

Which again begs the question; if they could all accept the award together, why not just do that and cut out the half of the episode that they spent arguing about it? Anyway, the girls finish their acceptance by announcing, “The girls with the passion for fashion salute you!” The night has been won.

In the wrap up, Yasmin says that once she hits the deactivation button on the Hypno-zapper, the girls will be permanently un-hypnotized. She does so and much to her shock, Sasha and Jade jump up on the table and start clogging in perfect unison. Cloe freaks out that the control hasn’t been broken.

Both girls then announce that they got them. Sasha walks out with the Hypno-zapper’s laptop and flushes it in a stall. The Tweevils follow her in and try to rescue it. Their plans for hypnotizing their own victims has still not died.

Cloe then announces that, “The trials and tribulations of BFFs became the cover story for our next issue. When good friends go bad.” Cameron then asks the girls how Birdlips it taking it. Cut to Burdine’s office where the Tweevils have hypnotized her and are making her cluck like a chicken. End of episode.

And now, my rant. Hypnotism does not work like this. Hypnotism is an altered state of consciousness where the subject experiences a heightened state of suggestibility. It can be used for stage magic so well because people are willing to put on a show and have a trained professional telling them exactly what to do.

It’s not mind control. It’s not a situation as displayed where Burdine is in complete command of the Bratz because they are hypnotized. This section, along with all of the other bullshit about psychics and horoscopes, keeps adding to the illusion that this pseudoscience is real and has an effect in the real world other than placebo.

I’m not asking the Bratz show to be completely scientifically accurate. But come on. Have some dignity for once. Stop showing all of this nonsense as real and valid and influencing children to believe in it all.

As for the content of the episode, it’s par for the course for the Bratz. Nothing here is ground breaking or new for even this piddly show. Let’s see what the next episode brings and if it can break up any of this tragic monotony.

This is a review of an episode of the Bratz TV series. To read more reviews of Bratz episodes, Click here. To read Bratz movie reviews, Click here.

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