Fill out your fucking profile

Confused+ShutterstockIt has started to really unnerve me when someone does not fill out their profile on OkCupid. Some people don’t fill out anything, leaving just their gender and current relationship status available. Others fill out their boxes with one or two word answers that tell you nothing about them. Some like to fill in open ended questions with “ask me”. Ask you? What’s the fucking point of a profile if I have to ask you everything myself?

The entire idea of a profile is so that you have enough information about someone in order to decide if you want to contact them or not. You’re supposed to be able to see potential deal breakers, get an idea of what kind of person the user is and decide if you want to make the next move to contact them in some way. But when there’s no information and one photo, you have no reason to do anything of the sort. What’s the point in messaging someone if you have to slowly extract all of the information that you should have gotten out of the way well before then?

Also, it’s not fair. I filled out my entire profile. I have all categories in my stats answered, as well as questions, and multiple photos, including head shots and full body pictures. I have put all of my information out there for scrutiny, how is right that I have put all of my information out there for someone to look over and someone that hasn’t even begun to do the same gets to see all of my info and give me none of theirs?

I find myself just rolling my eyes if I get a Quick Match or message from someone without a completed profile. I have no idea where to even begin asking them about themselves. My normal dead breakers are kids, religion, and height. So do I just start off with those? Would I come off as shallow if I demanded that they be an atheist without kids that’s taller than me? What about their questions? What if they think that sex isn’t important before marrying someone? What if they think the earth is bigger than the sun? How do I know this without seeing their profile?

By now, so much of my dating has been comprised of online interactions that I’m used to certain things. When I see a guy’s profile, I want to know some particular information before I make my choice whether or not to respond to them. But, sadly, lots of guys act like OkCupid is a catalog of women where they have to put in no work at all and just get sexually serviced by the hundreds of willing females in their area. Nope. Not how it happens.

If someone wants a message from me, they need to have something on their profile and no response can be requesting for me to ask them in person for the answer. Questions are important too on OkCupid because that’s how the match percentage is determined. Also, questions can tell you a lot about people. Some questions reveal if your match is racist, homophobic, misogynistic and more. Also, when someone pops up and they’re 0% match, it just makes you shrug and move on. Who wants to talk to someone that you’re not likely to be compatible with as it is?

Online dating is many things, but one of them is time consuming. No one wants to spend anymore time than is needed trying to meet people. Chances are you’re not going to be compatible with random people and who really wants to spend all of your time messaging people again and again to figure out information that they should have already given you when you could be talking to people that you already know something about and have something in common with? I know I don’t.

When it comes down to it, you have a very short amount of time to make a first impression on someone. Time gets even shorter when it’s online dating. So when you only have a few seconds for someone to decide to message you or not, fill out your fucking profile and maybe they will take a second glance at what you have to say.

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