Really, size queen?

penisIt never fails to mystify me how obsessed men are about penis size. Most of them act like every woman wants at least eight inches or get the fuck out. Even man that are of average size have a complex about their junk. At first, I tried to sympathize with these men that have their views of the human body so warped by society that they feel like they have to be packing an anaconda in their pants in order to be acceptable. But even after calming fears and reassuring that a huge dong wasn’t the be-all, end-all of sexual interaction with me, it just doesn’t let up.

Here’s a little fact that will blow most peoples’ minds: the average penis is about five inches long. The depth of the average vagina is… five inches. So yeah, the average penis, which most men have, because that’s average, is perfect for the average vagina. But this doesn’t stop men from thinking that they’re not measuring up.

Also, there’s something to be said for body type. I have a narrow vagina. I don’t want a massive penis because, ouch. Pain. No. I prefer men that are average because then sex is actually enjoyable. I’ve been with men that were larger than average, sometimes much larger, and it was not fun. Whenever a man on OkCupid tells me that they have a large penis, I immediately respond that I’m not interested in having sex with them because of my physical limitations. That changes their tune very quickly. Then they want to assure me that their penises are just average and not that large after all.

There’s a lot of factors that feed into men believing that their penises are too small, but I can’t help but think that some of it has to do with porn. With nudity and sexuality being so taboo in the US, it seems that sometimes the only time people see nudity and sex is between surgically-enhanced people that had some good genetics going for themselves to begin with. Breasts aren’t naturally shaped like beach balls. Penises don’t average 8 inches with massive girth.

I love porn, don’t get me wrong. But I can see problems inherent in what is being depicted. Male nudity is almost non-existent in film and TV. So when the only penises you see regularly are the size of shampoo bottles, it’s bound to make men a little self-conscious. But there’s really no need. Most women don’t want monster-porno sized penises.

Are there size queens out there? Sure, there are. But they don’t represent the average woman and men should not just assume that every girl they talk to is expecting them to be packing a lethal weapon in their boxers. Besides, I’m not one for stroking egos, but it just gets annoying that no matter how much you tell a man that size doesn’t matter to you that they will insist that it does.

So guys, calm the fuck down. Your penis is fine. At any rate, it’s all you have to work with, so enjoy what you’ve got. If a girl rejects you because you’re not Jonah Falcon, then move on to the next. Because there are plenty of women who don’t require a massive dick in order to get down. And honestly, stop asking me to make you feel adequate. Only you can make yourself feel adequate and I resent the implication that it’s my job to do so.

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