At the end of the song, the girls mention some men that they want to date, and presumably marry. But upon closer inspection of the list, it’s not as if this collection of men really fit the gentleman label that the song is talking about or is even a collection of men that have qualities indicative of a good mate. Most of them are just famous and good looking. And that does not a husband make.
But let’s dive into this list and see just how deep it gets:
I need a Ryan Gosling,
Now Ryan Gosling does seem like a decent person. He does charity work, he’s a talented actor, and he has no major scandals attached to his name.
I need a Robert Pattinson
Robert Pattinson got on this list because of Twilight and there’s no two ways about it. His ability to portray an abusive vampire boyfriend earned him acclaim and rabid fangirls the world over. Robert Pattinson is basically a sex object for girls to pour their fantasies into.
Somebody I can take to Mama, I need to find my Obama
This is where the song takes a strange turn. This is the only man on the list that is not an entertainer, but a man with real power and influence in the world. But the implication here is that the women need a powerful person in their lives and they don’t need to be a powerful person. Which is a dangerous message to send to little girls everywhere.
I need a Jonas Brother and,
Jonas Brothers are another example of teen heartthrobs that are deemed attractive for their looks and their ability to give meaningful glances to a camera. Why do women need a Jonas Brother? What qualities do they have that would make them a good husband?
how about a Denzel Washington?
Denzel also seems like a decent human being. He is known for his charitable works and has won multiple awards for his acting. However, he’s 60 years old. It might sound strange for a girlband, the oldest of which is in her early 30s, to be singing about wanting to date someone old enough to comfortably be her father. But as we’ll see later, age doesn’t seem to be an issue in this song.
I need a Kellen Lutz,
Another Twilight alum, Kellen Lutz played Emmet Cullen, Edward’s adopted brother in the Twilight Saga. He’s not particularly known for doing anything other than acting and being beefy. So what would make him a good husband, besides his looks?
and a Channing Tatum, throw ’em my way, I’ll date ’em
Channing Tatum is known for playing the title role in Magic Mike, a movie about strippers. He also recently admitted to be a high-functioning alcoholic. I can’t help but think that he made this list because of his abs, not his personality or ability to be a good husband.
I need a Drake,
Drake, the rapper, is known for making music, being emo, and feuding with everyone that has ever spoken into a microphone. It’s questionable to me that someone so willing to engage in this kind of behavior, down to physical conflict, would make a great husband.
I need a Ludacris,
Another rapper. I’m not familiar with any of his music, but apparently Bill O’Reilly called it disrespectful to women. Take from that what you will. He’s also engaged in multiple hip hop feuds and dis records. Which doesn’t seem to speak well for someone that is supposed to be mature and caring enough to marry.
I need a Weezy, I don’t care who he is
Weezy, also known as Lil Wayne, is yet another rapper. He has multiple arrests due to drugs and firearms. He has been sued by just about everyone in the known universe for not being fairly compensated for work. He also has engaged in more than his fair share of hip hop feuds. Stop me when he starts sounding like a great guy.
Also, I take issue with the end of this line. They don’t care who their husband is? They just want to marry someone and anyone will do? What an awful message to send.
Heard ’em say I need a Kanye, he ain’t a gentleman, but I’ll have him anyway
By all reports, Kanye is not a gentleman. But, as the song admits, that doesn’t matter. Why? Because he’s good looking and loaded, no doubt. What else matters in a man?
Another handsome and well-respected actor. Who is also 53. Again, why are the girls so interested in dating these older men?
Khloe Kardashian’s former husband is rumored to have serious drug problems and was arrested for a DUI in 2013. Apart from his basketball skills and money, what makes him an attractive mate?
Larry King, I like ’em older
And here is where I draw the line. Larry King is 81 years old. There’s one thing to say that you like older men, old enough to be your grandfather? Come on. I call bullshit. Not only would the members of The Saturdays have nothing in common with Larry King, he has also been married eight time to seven different women. Clearly, he has plenty of experience being married.
Out of all of these men, I question the song’s ability to choose good husbands. The choices seem to revolve around looks, money and fame, something that all girls are taught to worship to their detriment. Where are the scientists on this list? Where are the philanthropists and engineers and writers and thinkers? Where are people who are doing good for the world and not just a movie-going audience? Why can’t girls aspire to marry someone who doesn’t look like a model and command a legion of fangirls?
When it comes to marriage and relationships a good husband has more to offer than looks and monetary resources. Limiting “good” men to ones that are famous and attractive just sends the message that that’s all that really matters in a man. Which is just as toxic a message for men to hear as women.
To read more in this series, click here.