Recently I got a message from a man claiming to be a part-time stripper. We started talking, then texting and ended up making plans to go get drinks, walk around CW, he was going to dance for me, and then I was going to blow him. No joke. I promised him a blowjob. Something that I never do for guys before I meet them. But I was DTF and didn’t care.
So he tells me that he has to do a dinner thing for his work and then he’ll text me and we’ll meet up. We’re texting throughout his work thing and then suddenly, he stops texting. I text him a few more times to see where he is and what’s going on and I get no response. When it gets to be around 10pm, I realize that I have in fact been stood up. I grabbed Xander and we go out for drinks.
I have no idea if he’s telling the truth. I really don’t. I don’t know him and from this distance, I can’t tell a liar from a victim of circumstance. But right now, I don’t care. I don’t want to give him another chance.
I don’t want to because, first of all, if I was him and I knew someone was waiting for me to contact them for a date and my phone was suddenly out of the picture, I would do everything in my power to communicate with them somehow. Borrow someone else’s phone, go to an internet cafe to get on OKC, something. I would never leave someone hanging like that. Never. Now granted, this guy is not me and I am slightly crazed, but that doesn’t matter.
Also, it feels like all I am doing lately is giving people second chances, just to be disappointed again. He might be a perfectly nice person who just had something go wrong for him, but I don’t care. I’m not willing to take the chance that he’s not and risk another disappointment. Being stood up is an awful, awful feeling and I don’t want to feel that again, especially not so soon.
Finally, the main reason why I am not giving him a second chance is that I’ve given too many in the past. So many other dudes have treated me horribly and expected me to smile about it and ask for more, and I refuse to do it yet again. I would have been more inclined to give him another chance if I had not had such a shitty week with men. But I did and he was part of it and I don’t have the patience to deal with it anymore.
I don’t have to give anyone a date, a blowjob, or a second chance. But right now, I have no inclination to allow another man yet another chance to fail to meet my incredibly low expectations. I don’t ask much from men that I date, I really don’t. But showing up and communicating with me are pretty key. Right now, I’m just too worn out on being treated badly to give someone who had already let me down another chance to prove themselves to be unreliable.