Two minutes? No problem. I generally make decisions this fast. Patience has never been one of my virtues. It’s the main reason why I’m so terrible at chess. I can’t think ahead, I can’t plan out moves, I just rush in, guns blazing, and hope that I hit everything before it hits me.
I can’t say that this method of living has always worked to my benefit. I’m pretty sure that it hasn’t a lot of times before. However, it seems to be all that I’m capable of. Whereas I can plan a party down to when to give out the goody bags, when it comes to thinking about how to live my life and handle the big picture, it all just goes to shit in my haste to do something other than sit there pondering.
I can’t say whether this is a strength or a weakness in life. So often life is just learning from mistakes. So it doesn’t matter how slowly or quickly you come to a decision, it can still be the wrong one. Learning from past experience is often what really counts. But sometimes it does help to be able to sit back and think about things first and really evaluate what you want and how this decision is going to get you there.
It’s no secret that I make a lot of bad choices in the heat of the moment and often would benefit from sitting down and thinking about what I’m doing. But honestly, doing ridiculous things is sometimes all of the excitement that I get out of life. And it’s not as if my choices are endangering anyone. I usually just embarrass myself and feel sheepish for a bit afterward. Which is hardly fatal.
That’s not to say that I couldn’t benefit from trying to be more mindful and thinking things through. I also need to get a better hold on knowing when I’m feeling irrational and stop myself from doing… well, anything, when I’m in that state. Sometimes I just need to assure myself that the world will not end if I don’t act and I just need to chill until I have a better handle on things. I actually did that the other day, now that I think about it.
I wanted to upload a picture of myself in my underwear to OKC to order to garner some more attention from people I keep visiting and starring who don’t message me. I realized just how silly that idea was and played Sims 2 until I had calmed down. I now realize that all that would have accomplished would be for me to get more messages from people that I’m not interested in. Which is all that I’m getting now and is currently annoying me. So maybe I can make progress. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.