When it comes to internet dating, your first contact is made through the written word. If you have nothing to say, can’t write well, or don’t understand English (especially when it’s your only language) you’re going to have a problem. But this doesn’t stop people from trying. Boy, does it not stop people from trying. I wrote before about how much I hate small talk, but the fact of the matter is that encountering nothing but small talk makes me hate it even more.
Let’s delve in and see what the Men of OKC have to say for themselves today.
I have a rule that I will only answer someone with a response as proportional to their original question. I made this rule after I got tired of giving paragraph-long responses to people who would send me two words. If you want to have a conversation, then you need to be an active participant. I’m not keeping this shit going by myself. Also, if you want to engage me in conversation then ask me a fucking original question. How many times do you think I’ve been asked what my plans for the weekend are? I’ll give you a hint; it’s a lot.
Wake me up if this begins to look like it’s going to anywhere near interesting. I’ve written before about why I hate when strangers ask me how I am and I find that most of this applies to people asking about my day. Do you really care? Do you think that’s appropriate for someone that I don’t even know? Are you honestly expecting me to say anything other than fine?
This conversation went nowhere fast. He hadn’t managed to engage my interests at all and then he wants to buy me clothing? I have a particular dislike for men that want to buy me clothing. To me it just screams, “you are a sex doll and I want to dress you up to make you more attractive to me”. I have not indicated that I want sexy PJs or even like them. But he wants to buy them for me? Why? So I can send him sexy photos? Yeah right.
In case you’re wondering, I didn’t continue this conversation after this.
And then there’s guys like this. What the fuck is he even saying? I asked him a simple question and he couldn’t answer it. I’m not even sure if he was trying to avoid responding to what I asked or if he doesn’t understand what I asked or if he doesn’t understand how conversation works. Needless to say, this conversation went nowhere.
This guy was from Turkey, if I remember correctly. Here, I went out of my way to respond to his one-word intro by talking about how far away he’s located and what does he come back with? A comment on my tits. Well, sir, you better enjoy the photos, because you’re not getting anywhere near them.
This is the part where I was supposed to leap out of my chair in excitement and type back with shaking hands; “I’M A FEMALE! I CAN KEEP YOU COMPANY! PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE LET ME KEEP YOU COMPANY!” This man never quite recovered from the fact that I didn’t. Instead, he started talking about what he wanted from his female companions and that was “sexy time”. When I questioned him about this, he had this to say;
Do you realize that the word “sex” is the root word of the word “sexy”? Do I need to break this down for you SAT-style? I wasn’t interested in him at all, but couldn’t help commenting on his inaccurate use of the term “sexy time”.
Of course, this gentleman did not want to discuss the merits of considering cuddling sexy time or not. He was quick to inform me that I should be praying to every god in existence that this random man on OKC is even talking to me. I had to laugh when I read the last message. A hot guy? I never said that he was hot and I’m not into the kind of man that would post shirtless black and white photos as his profile pic and then refer to himself as hot.
Another pet peeve of mine is when men ask me questions that are clearly spelled out in my profile. If I have taken the time to indicate things that are clearly visible on my fucking profile, then don’t waste my time re-asking me everything that I’ve already spelled out. It’s tedious and annoying. Not to mention, that if you didn’t read my profile, then you didn’t read my blog and if you want to talk to me; read my fucking blog.
This I just found annoying for several reasons. First, it’s not up to some stranger on a dating site to question my desire to remain childfree. Next, if you’re looking for someone to have kids with, it doesn’t matter why I don’t want kids, I don’t want them and you need to move along. Then to come back to my completely legitimate reasons for not procreating with the dismissive idea that I’ll just become maternal after I pop out some crotchspawn? Uh yeah, I’ll get right on that.
Because it’s a fantastic idea to have kids when I already know that I don’t want them in the hopes that I will one day learn to love them. Right? That makes sense.
Oh, Men of OKC. If you want to talk to me, then talk. Say something of substance and demonstrate that you know the English language as well as the way to engage someone in conversation.
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