Men of OKC: Adoption Man

So often I get contacted by men that are in no way compatible with me. I mean, a lot. Just look at the rest of my fucking Men of OKC blogs if you’re unsure of this fact. Anyway, I’m so used to this by now that I take their initial form messages and compliments on my appearance and engage them in debates about various topics that we disagree on. It’s as simple as going to their questions and finding exactly why we have such a low match percentage.

The man in this blog messaged me first and all it took was a quick read through of this questions for me to find an interesting topic for us to explore. Together. As a potential couple.

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Yep. He didn’t think that abortion was a valid option in the case of accidental pregnancy. And I wanted to know why. I find it really interesting when men take anti-abortion stances. For the most part it seems pretty clear to me that they have never considered this traumatic and difficult situation from the point of view of a woman that’s accidentally pregnant, they have not done research into what happens when women are not allowed to make their own bodily choices orthey just don’t give a fuck about women in general. This man proved to be no different.

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It’s a great pie in the sky thing to say that everyone deserves a chance at life. I believe that myself. But you know who deserves that chance at life? The woman whose pregnancy could upend her life, at best, and end her life, at worst.

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I linked my blog Why Adoption Isn’t A Cure All Solution. It contains a fair amount of information, including numbers, on why women giving up all unwanted children for adoption is not going to help anyone and in reality, will only cause more problems. Surely, a man who is a match for me would read over my blog, research the links that I provided and take a careful examination of this women’s issue from the woman that is informing him of it.

But not this winner.

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A lot of the time when I’m trying to have a debate with a man on OKC or in some way asserting my opinion, he asks me if I’m offended. As if the second that I’m not agreeing with him, smiling, nodding, and asking for him to do more talking, I have to be offended. Although it’s difficult to tell tone over messager, I gave no indication that I was offended. I was simply trying to understand his argument better. And he didn’t have one.

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And naturally, he can’t follow a simple conversation. I mean, punctuation is out of his grasp. What was I really expecting here? But I explained myself again, as clearly and eloquently as I could. I was met with more misunderstanding.

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Awww, isn’t that sweet? He’s nice enough to understand a woman’s decision to seek abortion after she’s been raped. At least he didn’t put in that it has to be “legitimate” rape, right? I should be very thankful for that. However, I wasn’t done with him yet. I gave him a short lesson on bodily autonomy and linked my blog on the topic as well.

Will he read over my blog, take into consideration the argument that I proposed and come to respect women as full people deserving of making their own decisions? Well, I’m not sure how to answer that because he stopped messaging me. Which is just disappointing. I thought we had a nice conversation going. And look at all of the blogs that I linked! I was making good use of my site.


In the end, the only question I have is; Why did this douchebag contact me in the first place? The word “feminist” is literally the first word that appears on my profile and if he had bothered to even glance at my blog I’m sure he would have immediately realized that we were incompatible. What with my ability to argue issues that I feel passionately about and his inability to admit when he has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about.

But this is really an elaborate relationship test for dudes. If I find something that I fundamentally disagree with someone on and ask them about it, if they can’t provide a good enough justification for their answer, or admit that they were wrong and other people do deserve rights, then we don’t have much potential for being a couple. Clearly, when someone can’t explain why corpses deserve more bodily autonomy than woman and give off some wishy-washy “everyone deserves to live” bullshit, then drops the conversation altogether when they realize that I’m not going to smile and nod to them, you’re not going to get my number.

Back at it. Lots more men on OKC to terrify with my crazy demands to be thought of as a human being.

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