[Image: A red brick against a white background.]
I’ve been talking to my therapist about a certain common relationship dynamic. That dynamic is a combination of the brick and the livewire. I am a livewire, obviously, and in the past I have looked for stable, calm, reliable men (note that I wrote “looked” not “found”). The more I think about this combination the more I see how my dating habits have fallen into patterns.
In this relationship one partner is the livewire. They are social, exciting, seeking new experiences, going out more than staying in. On the other side of this partnership, there’s the brick. The brick is stable, dependable, easy going and serene. The livewire offers the brick a dynamic and interesting person to be with, a chance to be with them while they seek out new experiences and learn new things, as well as new social groups and settings. The brick gives the livewire some needed stability, an outlet for calming down, and a partner to enjoy going low-key with. The two balance each other out and keep the relationship the right mixture of interesting and manageable.
It’s no joke that my personality is, at best, flighty, impulsive, passionate and unpredictable. My mental illness causes me to have mood swings with no provocation and sometimes I get so emotional that I can barely function. It seems like a no-brainer that I would be attracted to the kind of man that provide a calm, secure place in his life for me. I need someone to go to when I feel overwhelmed and I just need to be at peace.
[Image: The character Livewire from the animated Batman series. She is winking.]
On the flip side, I’m very social, highly emotionally intelligent, good at reading people and find it easy to make friends. So a brick, which might find himself limited socially, would have an entirely new world opened up by being around me because I can provide the opportunities to make new friends, socialize, and network. Also, I throw awesome birthday parties. And who doesn’t someone in their life that can always throw an awesome birthday party?
There is no overarching point in this blog. Sorry if you feel led on. I will be calling back to this idea in future blogs and I wanted to be able to link something to describe what this dynamic is without having to describe it every goddamn time that I use it. So keep reading for future thoughts on this type of relationship and my endless search for a brick of my own.