Men of OKC: CallMeBigPoppa

My phone alerted me to that I had just received a message on OKC from a user named “CallMeBigPoppa” and my heart sank. I knew nothing good could come of this. And it turns out that that intuition was completely right. I opened my webpage and read this first message, already knowing that it wasn’t going to be the intelligent, thoughtful, thought-provoking message that I crave.poppamessage1

I was over it at this point. Yet another man on OKC wanting to let me know that I exist as a sexual object for his enjoyment? It seems like I had just been contacted by one… a few hours ago. How sad is that a man can’t even send a message to a woman that he finds attractive without treating her like she’s not even a human being; just a body that came into existence so he could jack off to photos of it.

But once I inform him how dehumanizing I find this conversation, will he apologize and begin treating me like a human being? What, are you drunk? This is Men of OKC!poppamessage2

He stopped messaging me after this. Clearly, a woman that realizes how badly men treat them and isn’t afraid to talk back was too much for him to handle.

So I went over his profile. I wanted to know what in the world would possess a person to treat a fellow human being to act like this and be so completely oblivious. What I found was that he is actually one of the most horrible people that I have ever seen on OKC. And really, that’s pretty profound coming from me. Here are just a few of the things on his profile that we disagreed on.

Contraceptionpoppa contraception poppa condoms

Well, okay then. He doesn’t think that contraception is okay and doesn’t carry condoms. But he must realize that unwanted pregnancies are going to happen and be open to women exercising their bodily autonomy and ending said pregnancies, right?poppa no abortion

So women are just baby machines that can’t have sex without the threat of pregnancy and then must have babies once their Natural Family Planning fails? Nice to know.


At least he’s not unintelligent though, right? I mean, he can’t really be as vapid as he makes himself out to be.


Intelligence a turn off? Why in the world contact me then? Oh right, I have breasts.poppa intellect convos

Right…. No intellectual conversations. Those make up most of what I do on dates. Are we supposed to talk about the weather the entire time?

poppaearthisbigger Okay, so maybe he is as vapid as he seems.


But at least he’s not racist, right?poppa racist poppa racist 2Wrong again.


But, hey, he probably has compassion for others, right? I mean, other white people.poppa veggie

Okay, so he doesn’t like vegetarians or people with diet restrictions. I mean, that’s kind of understandable. I guess.poppa overweight

Okay, so fat people can’t be sexy. He didn’t even pick the “sometimes” option. He just went for a flat no. Also, I looked at his one photo and he’s a strong 3. If you’re going to be so judgemental about people based on their looks, you might want to make sure your A-game is being brought. Cause in his photo, he looks a little big himself. Can’t tell if it’s just his poorly-chosen shirt or his actual torso that’s so large and he provided no other photos. But yeah.

poppa low IQs

Okay, so he he believes in eugenics. Which, again, based on his self-professed loathing of intelligence and his inability to know that the Sun is bigger than the Earth, maybe he shouldn’t be so quick to speak.poppa mental illness

Well, who would have thought this, but my visible panty line comes with a side of bipolar. The term “mental illness” here is not thoroughly defined. Mental illness has a huge range in how it affects people and relationships. But Big Poppa doesn’t care about any of that. He doesn’t want any part of mental illness, no matter how minor or easy it is to deal with.

poppa ashamed of sexual desire

Well, if he can’t even manage compassion for himself, then how is he supposed to manage it for anyone else?


Sure, he dislikes intelligence, but science is essential to our everyday lives as well as to technology and our world. So at least he appreciates that.poppa weight in faithpoppa evolutionOkay, so no on that one. I mean, what were we really expecting when he didn’t know the Sun was bigger than the Earth? Siri can tell you that. A quick trip to Google can tell you that. Third grade science class can tell you that.

Sex Positive

So he is obviously really into sex and turning women into sex objects. So he must be really sex positive, huh? Aside from the whole contraception thing.poppa wrong sex acts

Okay, so he thinks that sex acts between consenting adults can still be wrong or immoral. Alright. That’s a little weird.poppa sex partners

And apparently 14 sex partners is entirely too many. Maybe I should have told him my number. That might have gotten him to sign off of that conversation very quickly if he’s uncomfortable with 14.poppa obligated sex

Wow, and apparently someone can be obligated to have sex. He doesn’t describe the circumstances, but putting that thought out there is just more of his entitlement to women and their bodies.poppa no foreplayThis just strikes me as he doesn’t give a shit what his partner enjoys in bed. He’s all in it for his pleasure. And face it, if she’s obligated to have sex with him, then how much is she really going to enjoy it anyway?

poppa masturbation

Right. Masturbation. Something most human beings do, regardless of their relationship status. That’s not okay? That’s a cause for concern? Would that hurt his ego somehow? Does he consider this immoral? What’s going on here?poppa kiss

So no kissing on the first date. None. The man who sends me a first message saying that he wants to perform oral sex on me would never kiss on the first date. How does that make any sense?

What kind of person would believe this?

So with all of these factors working against him, what are his beliefs that might cause him to view the world like this?poppa religion poppa political beliefs

He self-identifies as a Christian and a conservative. Right.

Until next time. Keep your web browsers refreshed and  your standards low. This isn’t the love of your life that you’re finding. These are the Men of OKC.

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