Men of OKC: Sharyna’s Takeover: The French Are the Most Romantic People in the World

It’s rather common that I get contacted by people in other parts of the world. Since I talk to everyone, I often have interesting discussions with men from other cultures and countries. However, when Sharyna took over, the Men of OKC were not ready for someone that not only didn’t have time for their bullshit but also knows at least 6 languages. A Frenchman named Bello (technically, “bellllllo,” but who has time for all those ls?) decided to message me during Sharyna’s Takeover. Witness the carnage below.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-24-11So he thinks I’m blonde. That’s not a good start. My hair is so dark brown it’s almost black. But Sharyna speaks and writes in French, so watch out, Bello. She’s got something to say. In your native tongue. It should be obvious by now that I don’t speak or write French. So for extra special mega amusement, I’m going to run everything that takes place in French in this conversation through a free online translator. Enjoy!screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-24-19Sharyna: Want to lie down slaughterhouse?

I’m assuming that “slaughterhouse” is some kind of pet name for the French. I mean, it’s cute… Right?

Sharyna tells me that she was just making a weird rhyme with the famous line from “Lady Marmalade,” but whenever someone mentions that song, I just start thinking about how underrated All Saints was, so I’m just going to go with my interpretation instead for this one.

screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-24-31Bello: Mdr

Prk thou art Boucher !!?

If thou art Boucher ok j agreed to

sleep with thee

Haha i takes the risk

Haha

Um… yeah. Okay. I’m not sure I know what’s going on here. I don’t think he does either.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-24-43Sharyna: If you take the risk, I will take thy obelisk

how wilt thou sleep with me from France?

French really is a romantic language. This shit sounds almost Shakespearean. screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-25-08Bello: I will come to thee because i te want to j j

i love your legs ; Hmm.

Akors my sexy is a l listening

thou me lack

Eh from – oooh

:((( and :((( and :((( and

Thou me lack? I do lack him. But… I mean… I like it that way.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-25-24Sharyna:  Stupid tu es, ciao

i do not sleep for that thou speakest

and more, how is it that thou hast thirty years without learning your colors?

Do you think really that a blond girl can has the brown hair?

Sharyna calls him out for not knowing my hair color. I think. Maybe I should have picked a better online translator. Too late now!screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-25-45Bello: Speaks english because thou dost break the french

Sharyna breaks the French all the time. Right over her knee. I’ve seen her do it.

Anyway, I have no idea what he means by saying that I have blonde skin. That makes even less sense than him saying that I have blonde hair. But at this point, that’s the least of anyone’s worries. He also admits that he thought Sharyna ignored him, probably all from her not answering him fast enough. Because it’s not like any woman on OKC has a life or something. All she does is sit alone in her kitchen all day and night and refresh her account waiting to hear back from strange men on other continents. I mean, she could make someone angry for not responding to him within two milliseconds! The horror!screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-25-57Sharyna: Yes, and your English is disgusting, that is why I am talking about the french broken

If i have to read thy english horrible, thou must read my french

The skin of a person may not be blond, Beast

Beast! Take that, Frenchman! What say you now?screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-26-10Bello: N i msliding koi

but t serious thee

my english and bcp.better of tin french

then spoke english

Tin French? What the fuck is Tin French? screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-26-23Sharyna: Pffffffffffff HAHAHAHA!This is not true, not at all. But I can see that thou canst not speak well any language, it is wholly embraced why thou wilt that i spoke english

Bello: HAHAHAHA!n imported koi

Ya know, it’s not rare that I find a man on OKC that can’t write coherently in his native language. But this is the first time I was contacted by one that spoke TWO languages terribly and tried negging me about it to boot. I mean, I don’t speak French, but I’m pretty sure “n” and “t” aren’t French words any more than “ur” is an English word. Also, imported koi sound awesome. They are so pretty in ponds.tumblr_luxn04cYcu1qfhocwo1_500screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-26-34

Sharyna: And why do you want that i spoke english, in any case? For that I can call thee “idiot” in another language?

Bello: Listening me stopped to say n imported koi the thou hast exceed t limits

then a.little respect ok

I laughed so hard when I translated what Sharyna told him. My OKC adventures were not complete before this conversation happened.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-26-44Sharyna: Why?

I like Bello’s response here. Because Sharyna is both badass and educated. And it’s no shame at all.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-27-00Sharyna: It is better than a man who has no education of any nature.

Someone call a burn unit in France. Bello is going to need some immediate attention.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-27-10It always mystifies me when men suddenly turn around and call me ugly after I either don’t want to date them or fuck them. He’s already said that he likes my skin, my hair, and my legs. Suddenly, I’m fat? A few messages ago, you wanted to fuck me, dude. screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-27-23Sharyna: Hahaha, it is thou who has spoken to me, this is not my fault if you don’t know how to talk to an intelligent person.

Bello: Tu es n.imported koi thee

and n.imported kb

STOP TALKING ABOUT IMPORTED KOI. I just want to go to the koi pond in Norfolk now. They’re so pretty! Now I’m the one who’s disappointed!screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-05-06 09-27-37

Sharyna: Thou art in France and i am in America, what is this thou was hoping?

Bello: J t well.loved but the thou treats me well and is not thou my disappointed

Sharyna: Mourns more fort my child, I am in fact sheet of thee

It is not surprising why you cannot seek a woman french

I mourn for forts, too. I loved playing in them as a kid. And yeah, if Bello had any ability to talk to a woman, he probably wouldn’t be hitting up “blondes” on another continent.


This just goes to show you, kids. You never know who you’re talking to when you get on OKC. Sometimes “blonde” American women can turn out to be badass language experts that can trash you in your native tongue.

So, until next time, strap yourselves in and take some anti-nausea meds. This isn’t a rollercoaster. This is the Men of OKC.

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Want to read more of Sharyna’s Takeover? Click here.