Men of OKC: Sharyna’s Takeover: Star-Crossed Lovers

Two households, both alike in dignity,
In OKCupidonia, where we lay our scene

So Sharyna had a brilliant idea: make two of the men of OKC talk to each other. This worked by copying and pasting their replies back and forth between two chat conversations. Here’s an example:

screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 14-03-31

screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 13-58-03See how this is working? She only edited out gender-specific terms (like “lady” above) and personal information in order not to give up the game too early, but only ever deleted these things—never adding anything.

As it turns out, these two really liked each other! Things were going well until tragedy struck and they had a falling out. But such is life on OKC.

A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life;
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do with their death bury their parents’ strife.

screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 13-58-09For some reason, he doesn’t react to being called beautiful. In the second response, the other man had actually called me “young lady”. Sharyna took out the “lady” bit as that would have been a dead giveaway that he thought he was talking to a woman.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 13-58-24Now one specifically mentions the content of one of my photos to the other one. He did not have Colonial Williamsburg photos up on his profile. Is he going to notice and ask questions?screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 13-58-35Nope. He just confirms that he doesn’t work for CW. Doesn’t even bother to ask why someone thinks that they have costumed photos up on their account. screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 13-58-52Sharyna left out Mark’s name when she sent it to the other man. Ironically, my name IS on my profile. It’s also in my username. I don’t make it difficult for people, I really don’t.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 13-59-47On my profile I have indicated “single” and looking for “short-term dating”. All of my information is completely filled out and there’s no reason to ask me these questions. But since he’s not actually talking to me, this goes completely unnoticed.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 13-59-54Look at how well they’re getting along! They’re the perfect couple. They can ask each other about their days until they’re blue in the fucking face.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 14-00-16I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that neither of these gentlemen went to my blog. If they did, they might get a little concerned about the fact that I know how to type in coherent English and I just choose not to while talking to people that I’m considering dating. But yeah, that would take too much thinking. Let’s not hurt anyone’s grey matter here.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 14-00-38“How’s your day going?” “Fine. How’s your day going?” “Fine. How’s your day going?” THEY ARE MEANT TO BE!!

Seriously, people! I have been stuck in this loop more than once when talking to people and it’s just fucking annoying. I’d rather have someone ask me my opinion on abortion than just endlessly ask me how my day was. Particularly when I respond with something interesting that I did or saw and all they can do is ask me how my day was the following day.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 14-01-06It’s so perfect! They want to meet! It won’t be long now for our lovers.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 14-01-14So one is still calling this man “young lady” and the other is calling him “beautiful”. But neither is the wiser and Mark wants this other man there to make his nights all better.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 14-01-29And here’s where the trouble starts. It was already decided that we weren’t going to send their numbers or any personal information to each other. Sharyna may be doing some hardcore trolling here, but she’s not actually a monster. So she sent the message and deleted the numbers. It was the beginning of the end for our lovers.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 14-01-37First attempt to get the number failed.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 14-01-50Second attempt failed.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 14-02-02Third attempt failed. And now it’s about to get heated.screenshot-www.okcupid.com 2015-04-26 14-02-14And this is where our pair ends their conversation. Sadly, there were no phone numbers, there will be no brunch, and this man will not make Mark’s nights any better. Farewell, sweet lovers. We will remember you fondly.

A glooming peace this morning with it brings;
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;
Some shall be pardon’d, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of [REDACT]iet and fair [REDACT]eo.

Can’t get enough of the Men of OKC? Click here.

Want to read more of Sharyna’s Takeover? Click here.

Super Special MiST 16 – A MiSTer’s Christmas Carol

Emo_Xmas_Card_by_MumblingIdiotThe MiSTers are determined to have a wonderful Christmas this year. So much so that they enlist The Boss’s MiSTing team to help them plan an elaborate version of A Christmas Carol, meant to show M the error of her ways. Will M fall for it? Will the MiSTers get out of MiSTing? Will they finally have their beloved Christmas? Read on and find out. Happy holidays, everyone!

Continue reading

MiST 108 – My Emo Savior

emo_dark_angelIt’s the Zombie Apocalypse on the Spotted Satellite! Chaos reigns! People will die! Oh the humanity! But order is restored long enough for the crew to MiST a weird emo love story about dark angels and demons and experiments on human beings. Read on to see how the MiSTers handle an onslaught of zombies, followed by an onslaught of emos.

Continue reading

MiST 104 – Best to let go, I think, Part I

2981760-256-ke7d66536The girls are trying to find Kalinda a date. The guys are involved in a paintball tournament version of the Hunger Games. But no one has any time for these adventures when there’s MiSTing to be done! The team takes on the first part of the second book in the Victoria-Alicia series. Will everyone call her by her full name the entire time? How did she manage to live through the Civil War when she was born 15 years after it ended? Will Xzavior overcome his crippling co-dependency?

Read on and find out!
Continue reading

MiST 97 – Sneaky

Photo-of-Harry-Draco-in-Bed-O-harry-and-draco-24157626-600-328

M contacts THE BOSS and finds the MiSTers responsible for unleashing a swarm of dangerous, evil butterflies onto the satellite. Some innocent people get caught up in the punishment. Will having to MiST a Harry Potter fanfiction that’s as poorly-written as it is insane teach everyone a valuable lesson about not unleashing evil butterflies? Or will the murderflies end this MiST on their own terms?

Continue reading